Saw torturecoaster rolls into UK theme park Surrey theme park Thorpe Park has revealed its new attraction will be 'Saw - The Ride', based on the super-gruesome gorebuster movie franchise of the same name. The family-friendly frolic-enclave has run 'Fright Nights' with various scary goings-on since 2002, but the new ride seems a rather more ambitious and full-bodied …
Saw can't touch Seven for sheer cleverness and grim gothic horror. It's just a rather dull masterbatory fantasy for people too scared of the extreme porn law to whip it out and start making like a spider monkey.
Okay, the first film was kind of clever, but you can only go so far with the central idea.
Everyone laughs at Saw, and the over the top gruesomeness. But that bloke writes a story about Girls Aloud, and suddenly it's sick and depraved. I'm not a fan of either. Does the line just get crossed when something aludes to real people, or are people just hypocrites, as they decry this work of fiction by this bloke, while queing up to buy tickets for this ride? Rhetorical question, no need to answer.
Am I the only one that finds this "genre" misleading? I don't see most (sane) people whacking off at the sight of someone hacking his own foot off. If they're referring to "shock exploitation of torture scenes", I think we already had "Grindhouse/exploitation films" as a genre since the 70's.
As for a "Saw Ride", we already had something similar in Mexico City last Halloween; some kind of "reality game" where you're put in an underground maze with a bunch of "serial killers" on the loose. You have to find your way out, so it does add to the creepiness. I don't think a plain old ride would top that...
has to be the "monster" queues to go on any of the reasonable rides. Your life just ebbs away whilst you wait along with the rest of London-on-a-day-out-mob to have 30 seconds of fun.
To summarise my day at Thorpe park . 1 hour drive there, 1 hour of walking around it, 7 hours queuing, 10 minutes of fun , 1 hour driving home afterwards.
Was it worth it ? NO !
I've had more fun watching paint dry on the dentist's ceiling, whilst having root-canal surgery followed up by a wisdom-tooth extraction, just before I got on my bike and broke an arm going home from the dentist.. (okay I made a bit of that up : in that they all occurred on the same day )
And don't get me talking about "Fast Passes" which is basically a way for the Tussauds group to extract money out of punters ( mugs? ) for QUEUE-JUMPING. I wouldn't mind, there are loads of signs saying anyone caught queue jumping will be chucked out, that's unless you've paid more money to the Tussauds group to queue jump , via a fast pass.
My advice is don't bother going, the drive around the M25 to get there was more fun. You could always drive there, don't bother to go in, save the money , and drive back , and you would have had a better day.
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