Sex with dead deer is illegal, US man finds

Indeed...

He sounds like a fan of jerked meat.

Ahhhhh

I thought that venison was a bit salty.

sex with a dead deer ?

Well, anything to make a quick buck !

(I'll get my coat)

Re: Sooo...

Is that rump roasts or hump roasts?

Nearly a classic headline

Now that he has been sent for treatment we may never know if he was about to extend his repertoire. If only he had added flagellation to his activities we would have had the headline: Man jailed for flogging a dead horse.

Important legal point

Where does the law draw the line between "dead animal" and "animal-derived product"? Sexual toys made of leather - are they illegal? What about poking two warm livers in a jam jar?

where to draw the line

Even tho individual cases like this may appear to be just silly, it could set a precident. I wonder if you could get into trouble for "kicking a dead horse" if you are not the one who caused it to die. not that i would, but IF i came accross a dead rabbit on the side of the road, VERY DEAD mind you... and I kicked it very hard into the side of a wall, would I be guilty of animal cruelty? according to the decision of Judge Lucci, I could be. hmmmm, that doesnt make any sense. they should have charged him, just perhaps not with what they charged him with. they should have a new law called "the Dumb F..." law. It would be understood that this law was used only case by case and never sets a precident and can not be appealed.

This would be the opportune time to use the DF law.

"Sir, you are being charged with "DF", for doing (insert some DF thing here)"

~Tony Scottalottacanolies.

Must be a friend

Is he a friend of George Bush?

stop telling us about your other hobby ..

I don't care what the editor of elReg gets up to in his spare time, I just don't want to read about it on a tech site.

This is an ex-deer

..What's wrong with it?

Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.

Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead deer when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable deer, the Roadkill Pancake, idn'it, ay? Beautiful fur!

Mr. Praline: The fur don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

Mr. Praline: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Bambi Deer! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you

show...

Owner: There, he moved!

Mr. Praline: No, he didn't, that was you hitting it!

Owner: I never!!

Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!

Owner: I never, never did anything...

Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO BAMBI!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

(Picks Bambi up and thumps its head on the road. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead deer.

Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!

Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?

Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Roadkill Pancakes stun easily, major.

Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That deer is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour

ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged shag.

Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?

Owner: The Roadkill Pancake prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable deer, id'nit, squire? Lovely fur!

Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that deer when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting up in the

first place was that it had been NAILED there.

(pause)

Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that deer down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its nose, and

VOOM! Feeweeweewee! Like Rudolph.

Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this deer wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

Owner: No no! 'E's pining!

Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This deer is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e

rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im down 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-DEER!!

(pause)

Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the farm, and uh,

we're right out of deer.

Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.

Owner: I got a slug.

(pause)

Mr. Praline: Pray, does it fuck?

Owner: Nnnnot really.

Mr. Praline: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?

Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)

Mr. Praline: Well.

(pause)

Owner: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?

Mr. Praline: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.

Sadly...

Here in the USA if this person had had sex with a human corpse, the crime would be something like "gross abuse of a corpse" and carries little if any penalty. There are no advocates for the dead, but there are some advocates for necrophiliacs who feel they should have access to corpses for sexual gratification. They claim that no one is hurt by their activities since corpses are already dead.

Killing animals to have sex with their corpses SHOULD be a crime and yes he should get treatment and monitoring for this sick behavior. Innocent beasts do not deserve this kind of treatment and it would be unconscionably inhumane to tolerate it.

Who knows when behavior could escalate into violence against humans? Many serial killers start out maiming, killing and abusing animals (sometimes sexually) and then move on to human targets. It's very disturbing.

drawing the line

What about picking up some liver from the butcher and gratifying yourself with that? Revolting - yes, orta to be illegal - debatable, animal cruely - ridiculous.

I think it's pretty obvious - you can't be cruel to something that is dead.

A little inconsistent, there

"Killing animals to have sex with their corpses SHOULD be a crime"

What about killing animals in order to eat their corpses? Why should one be a crime and not the other?