back to article 'Windows Cloud' to descend this month, says Ballmer

Microsoft will let loose a new operating system, Windows Cloud, at the company’s annual developer conference later this month. Boss Steve Ballmer announced Redmond’s plans at a Software plus Services partner event in London this lunchtime. He playfully gave the OS the temporary name of Windows Cloud. Apparently, we’ll learn …

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  1. Ralph B
    Gates Halo

    At last we agree on one thing ...

    "The last thing we want is for somebody else to obsolete us, if we’re gonna get obseleted [sic] we better do it to ourselves."

    Yeah, agreed, MS can go fuck themselves.

    Bill entering his own ring. (Where's the Ballmer icon?)

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Windows cloud to decend...."

    "Windows cloud to decend...."

    Like the warm breezes that follow a chili cookoff.

    Like the gentle wafting fog from a cattle feedlot.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Pirate

    How original!

    Well done Mr Ballmer... less that two weeks after VMware talk about their VDC-OS project and outline how they are going to push and enable the "cloud", you reveal M$'s own drive in that area.

    So, do you all sit there in Redmond and wait on what VMware announce and then just copy them, hoping to keep up? I mean, you're already at least two years away from catching up with their current product offerings...

    Talk talk talk... nothing more than "Blowhard Ballmer" spouting off again.

    "What are our competitors doing? Right... I see... I'll go and give a presentation, shout and dance around a lot and tell everyone that we're doing the same thing! Ha! That'll show them! That'll show them all! MWHAHAHAHAHA!"

  4. N

    oh really?

    Q "We need a new operating system designed for the cloud..."

    The 'We' being Microsoft, heads firmly up there arses.

    Where as we in reality dont actually need or want anything from Microsoft, particularly if its wrapped in the same shit as Vista.

  5. Kenny Millar

    Apparently it's to be called....

    Windows ME 2

    or

    Windows OS X

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Gates Horns

    Big Fat OS?

    "..they’ll issue a new browser that’s basically a big fat operating system..."

    Blimey, if Chrome is a big fat OS, what does that make MS operating systems??

  7. Gavin

    Obsoleted ourselves

    "The last thing we want is for somebody else to obsolete us, if we’re gonna get obseleted [sic] we better do it to ourselves."

    Havent they been doing this since day one?

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Linux

    Exclusive ! (These are the edition names)

    Windows Drizzle (basic version)

    Windows Depression (ultimate retail version)

    Windows Fog bank (server edition)

    Windows Another Depression Moving Across The Atlantic (EU version only)

    Windows Wet and windy (Ballmer personal edition)

    Windows Wet Weekend (Home edition)

  9. Adam

    Amazon AWS

    Amazon AWS announced today that they are working on a Windows OS for the EC2 platform. I wonder if these announcements are related.

    http://aws.amazon.com/windows/

  10. phil
    Flame

    as per usual

    i used to like the register, was informative and useful, also proved an amusing ground for the witty internet generation to amaze us with their caustic wit.

    unfortunately these days it appear to be more about which fan boy can shout the loudest, if its not MS vs Unix its PS3 vs Xbox etc etc etc

    its all rather drole and boring now i find, if you don't like windows or unix or ps3's or xboxes or anything else for that matter how about (heres a novel idea) just don't use them!

    is that visonary or what? thank you one and all, for my next trick i'll be solving world peace.

    flame(d) as i'm sure i will be. much love.

  11. adnim

    OS for the Cloud?

    Ah that'll be a browser then. Don't they already have one?

    “We’re not driving an agenda towards being service providers but we’ve gotta build a service that is Windows in the cloud,” admitted Ballmer.

    I don't believe you.

    "If you talk to Google they’ll say it's thin client computing but then they’ll issue a new browser that’s basically a big fat operating system designed to compete with Windows but running on top of it,” he said.

    Does this guy proof read what he is going to say? I nearly pissed myself when I read that.

  12. Dougle
    Flame

    Uh Oh

    Blue Cloud of Death coming soon to a public screen near you.

  13. Suresh Sundaram
    Alien

    WTF?

    all of these anti MS fanbois need to get medical help.

  14. David Cochrane
    Stop

    WEAK

    Oh my. Is this "innovation"? Is this in ANY WAY innovative? Please. This is like watching my grandpa trying to be "down with the kids". Give it up Ballmer. It's over. In every way outside the office space, and possibly gaming, it is OVER. I could almost forgive Bill his "the internet is nothing" gaff years ago...but to try to fill his admittedly iconic shoes is just another nail in the coffin.

    Feeble.

  15. Nomen Publicus
    Black Helicopters

    I can't see any oncoming mounta...

    Isn't a descended cloud just a fog?

  16. A. Coatsworth Silver badge
    Coat

    'Windows Cloud' to descend this month

    For some reason that title reminds me of Metallica's "Creeping Death"

    Thanks Cthulhu, I am not a first born...

  17. amanfromMars Silver badge

    For Cloud Master Key Controls?

    " Q "We need a new operating system designed for the cloud..." ...By N Posted Wednesday 1st October 2008 15:03 GMT

    Isn't the Microsoft Way to buy one? The Instant Karma Route/Root? :-)

    "Blue Cloud of Death coming soon to a public screen near you." .... By Dougle Posted Wednesday 1st October 2008 16:08 GMT.

    Not if Microsoft are Good at What they do, ..... can Read between Lines rather than Simply Follow them ......... and are easily Tempted by Sex and XSSXXXX Code ......

    http://www.phrack.com/issues.html?issue=65&id=14#cmt1358

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Gates Horns

    Windows Cloud?

    Black cloud?

  19. Doug Glass
    Flame

    Monkey Boy

    Moron

  20. Frank Bough
    Paris Hilton

    Great News!

    Another Microsoft product for me not to buy. That'll make a clean sweep of the entire MS product range that I've never bought, beat that!

    Paris because she's a famed idioslut.

  21. IGnatius T Foobar
    Thumb Down

    Another "me too" announcement from Microsoft

    Oh look, another "me too" announcement from Microsoft. I really think that cloud computing is fundamentally incompatible with Microsoft's revenue model. Cloud computing (grid computing, timeshare computing, whatever you want to call it depending on which decade it is) doesn't have a desktop, either ... and Microsoft has a proven track record of utterly failing at anything that doesn't involve a desktop. (Their desktop software sucks too but it's got market share, so we'll set that aside for now.)

    Welcome to the post-Microsoft world, Steve. You're not in it.

  22. Don Mitchell

    Red Dog

    This is Dave Cutler's new operating system, so somewhat more interesting than the peanut gallery thinks.

  23. SnowHawk
    Coat

    What do they call a cloud that decends to the ground?

    Oh yeah, that's fog, isn't it?

    Windows Fog! Not only it the title, it's a description of the state of the user.

    It's the peacoat, I hear it's foggy outside.

  24. Eduard Coli
    Heart

    Please save us all

    MS just borrow another idea from Apple and shell Windows over some UN*X.

    You guys own or atleast used to own XENIX.

    It would be worth miles of ink just in the fanboy base and may actually make Windows all of those things that you advertised in the past.

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Wow

    I didn't think it was possible for ballmer or M$ to be more in love with themselves and totally convinced of how great they and their product is.

  26. F Seiler

    @adnim

    >> Ah that'll be a browser then. Don't they already have one?

    I think they talk about the other end, else they would mention windows sever as the base.

    (Actually, scap that, cloud is most like not even "based on", it most likely *is* server 2008. Maybe they changed the wallpaper and added three new application shortcuts to the desktop)

  27. Eddie Edwards
    Gates Horns

    A few more edition names

    Windows Cloud: "On Your Parade" edition (for HD content creators)

    Windows Cloud: "Into The Wind" edition (for MS internal use only)

  28. Alexander
    Thumb Up

    it's blue sky's

    @dougle nice one mate, but it will be "blue sky of death" and not a cloud to be seen.

    It is all talk for the the corprate market for the corporate market , the virtualization buzzword bingo is getting old they need something new to play with at expo’s and conferences and the this cloud game is brilliant even Google can claim they make OS’s .

    But where the home computing market is concerned it is all pipe dreams even when it comes to basic things like bandwidth required, it just does not exist to keep those clouds of theirs afloat and nor will it do for at least a decade and that is being optimistic all I see is clouds shedding their load and plenty more rain on the horizon..

    Though we might get a nice rainbow, and to be honest MS and others seem to be viewing this like a rainbow from a point of personal perception rather than reality and no matter how many people say this new emperors clothes are amazing the dude is still nude.

  29. Sceptical Bastard

    Semi-literate in English and computing

    Obsolete is not a verb.

    A browser is not an OS.

    "Where do you want to go today" is not a trademark nor is it copryright-able.

    Microsoft is no longer Master Of The Universe.

    A Ballmer is an arrogate, loudmouth, embarrassing, sweaty, piggy-eyed baldie who can't dance.

    Just sour grapes: I'd happily become all those things (and worse) for his salary.

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Not new

    I've been labouring under a Windows cloud for years.

    Mine's the Mac.

  31. Jodo Kast
    Alert

    I knew it!

    As per "Microsoft prefers to 'obsolete ourselves'"...

    I am a big fan of Windows XP Media Center. I've used it for years (going on 4 years now). It's basically a TIVO, and it runs on my second monitor while I do other things on my first monitor.

    I had a feeling that Microsoft preferred to abandon their past work (including XP and Media Center).

    How pathetic? Seriously. It's just sad, really.

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Instrument rated?

    Bah! It ain't fog it's just more MS smoke and mirrors!

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    i don't think the name is quite right yet

    Me: how about windows cloud

    Ballman: that's not quite powerful enough

    Me: how about windows flatulance

    Ballman: that just stinks

    Me: well then, how about windows dead skunk

    Ballman: now that's smellin' better

    Me: I mean, if you really don't like it we can got with windows obsolescence.

    Ballman: too long and wordy, people won't remember

    Me: how about windows tumescence then

    Ballman: what the hell does that mean

    Me: It's hard to resist.

    Ballman: yeah, that's about right, and then we give it to our customers where they need it

    Me: yessir

    Paris, 'cuz she knows all about tumescence.

  34. John O'Hare
    Boffin

    How original

    That'll probably be the new MS Cloud/Professional Midori operating system.

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Promotional video

    Yeah, I can believe it will descend. I watched the Windows Cloud promotional video last night - it was called The Mist (based on a Stephen King film), and there were lots of bugs and nasties in it.

  36. Gavin Jamie
    Coat

    Water vapourware?

    OK OK a cloud is not technically water vapour but we won't let that spoil a good pun, or even a bad one.

    Mine's the one with "The Cloudspotters Guide" in the pocket.

  37. Saul Dobney

    My guess

    M$ has had something brewing for at least 24 months. My guess is that it involves big data centres, application streaming, remote storage and synchronisation, and remote software distribution and cloud-based development tools. I'm sort of expecting that Microsoft will start renting space on the internet and that space will include applications (eg M$ Office), data, shared areas and collaboration tools so rather than buy Office, you'd pay a monthly streaming fee that means you get your apps that can be used from any machine you have available with access to your and shared data immediately from that machine. Essentially what you need if you start having two or more personal computers/data access devices for different modes of use.

    Streaming apps means you get to work offline too and with full blown adult apps - the major weakness for Google. Then once you have data in the M$ cloud, M$ does the searching and indexing for you across files that you have and have access to. Google can't cross the access permission boundary so can't provide the same level of search possibly reducing it's value overall in the long run.

    In time you get your full OS distributed this way too - a lite OS to connect to the cloud, then stream down non-standard device drivers and necessary apps, but move a chunk of services off the PC (eg scheduled tasks, database) and into the cloud to give faster start up times and better more robust performance.

    However, I would guess they will not be the only supplier, so you can sign up with M$ directly, or sign up with a third party running the same stuff if you don't trust M$. Box shifters will add subscription options for Office on their price list.

  38. Norfolk Enchants Paris

    Sheesh

    I'm amazed about the people here. It's like the people that comment here are (generally) so narrow-minded and opinionated that they can't objectively assess what a company has to offer.

    I'm not a Mac afficionado, a Linux lover or a Microsoft fan. I have been in the industry for a long time, and what I know is that you look at what you and your organisation/client is trying to achieve and what the circumstances are, then look for the most appropriate thing to fit the bill. Hating (or loving too much) any particular brand or technology can close your mind to things that could be to your benefit, and deciding what you will deploy before you understand the problem is just plain stupid.

    By all means it is right to assess a product and judge it, but to write something off before you have had that chance is just wrong. So many people are flaming this simply because of the company involved. Grow up.

  39. Eponymous Cowherd
    Paris Hilton

    Sounds like a lot of hot air

    Rather damp hot air, at that.

    Paris, 'cos she like to be hot and damp.

  40. Rex Alfie Lee
    Linux

    Ah Ballmer

    Balmy one day, moron the next.

    Brain the size of a caterpillar. A small caterpillar.

  41. Pascal Monett Silver badge

    @Norfolk Enchants Paris

    What do you mean we cannot "objectively assess" what Ballmer has to offer ?

    Nonsense !

    We've known Ballmer for years now, we can very quickly assess his words, and 9 times out of 10 they amount to just a lot of hot air.

    Nothing coming out of MS these days is designed in any way to respond to the needs of users, it is always meant to respond to the need of MS - which is ripping off more money from anyone they can catch.

    This cloud thing has no substance, and it's obviously nothing but a copycat announcement.

  42. Norfolk Enchants Paris

    @Pascal

    What Steve Ballmer say is often not followed up with reality, I will grant you. However, it's the people here slagging off a product that they've not been able to assess, and people who would not even bother to assess a product because it was made by microsoft/IBM/Oracle/SAP etc that marks them as unprofessional and bigoted.

    And when you say that 'nothing [by Microsoft] is designed ... to meet the needs of users' I think you are missing something. Yes, MS and most other organisations want to make money. That's why they are in business. They all want to make products that the customers want, and mostly they believe that's what they are doing when they release something. And when a company sees that the needs of the customers is changing, then they have to change with them or get left behind. So, I would argue that everything MS does is ostensibly 'for the customer' but like most companies, this is Machiavellian. Do you think Apple invented the iPod just for its customers? No, they realised that this was a brilliant design that could be marketed well to make a bunch of cash. Let's not forget it wasn't perfect when it was released, but it was damn good.

    Without taking their customers into consideration, companies die. MS is pretty healthy so I will let you join the dots there.

  43. Snert Lee

    What this really means

    NetBEUI is now IP6 compatible!!

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