back to article Tw*tdangler defends Benito Mussolini stunt

David Blaine has defended himself following widespread criticism of his Benito Mussolini twatdangle above New York's Wollmann ice rink - a daredevil 60-hour upside-down endurance marathon which actually saw the Brooklyn media strumpet take breaks to drink water and empty his bladder. According to the BBC, Blaine told US TV …

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  1. Bill Gould
    Paris Hilton

    Who the fuck...

    ...is this ass? I thought he was an illusionist. It's not an "illusion" to do any of the dumbass stunts he's been doing. Granted, it's an illusion that he's any good at anything other than being a media whore the likes of which make Paris seem like Mother Theresa.

    Maybe he should try to survive 10 days inside a sensory deprivation tank. During those 10 days I suggest we encase it in concrete and bury it.

    Paris, because even she feels sorry for him.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    A feat so dangerous they said it couldn't be done....

    They told us that hanging upside down for 60 hours wasn't humanly possible.

    But he decided he'd do it anyway.

    They they told him he would DIE.

    So he decided he wouldn't.

    But he couldn't cancel, so he pretended that doing something he knew wouldn't kill him was death-defying.

    Woo. Brave.

  3. Andrew Moore

    Question

    If it was a "death leap", why is he still alive?

    In fact, just discard the first half of that question.

  4. John Robson Silver badge
    Stop

    Stunt suggestion

    Jump from the top of the eiffel tower and see how much concrete you break - no aerofoils or any sort, nor weight bearing lines should be allowed....

  5. Jamie Kitson

    I Heard...

    That this is his next stunt:

    http://newsbiscuit.com/article/david-blaine-to-work-mundane-job-for-forty-five-years-373

  6. Matt Bradley
    Coat

    Oh for shame

    Headline FAIL!

    Would have preferred to see: "Git Wizard Twatdangle Piss Take Defence"

  7. Rob Elliott

    one word

    tosser!

  8. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    well

    I have to say that I got dangled upside down from a fubar'd fairground ride with about 30 others in a most unfortunate accident some years ago, and that was only for an hour but I couldn't walk straight or think straight for a week. So it is a feat, I'd say.

    I kind of like Blaine. I approve of crazy shit for the sake of crazy shit.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    I've seen worse cheating

    After all, he could have just done a Criss Angel, hired a crowd of actors to stand in for the public, then carried out the entire stunt through the magic of CGI.

    I know Blaine cheats a bit with some of his tricks and there's been some creative use of editing in the past, but I've not noticed any outright CGI so far. But you can't really complain too much - the whole point of magic tricks is that they're *tricks*, and you don't really do the things you claim.

    Though when people can see what you're up to and you just outright lie it sort of defeats the object...

    Still think he's an idiot doing this kind of thing.

    Flames, because it would have been much more entertaining if he'd been strung up over a bonfire.

  10. Simon Mirsh
    Thumb Up

    @ Andrew Moore

    stellar sarcasm!

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hang on a mo*

    Wasn't the deal supposed to be that he would piss through a catheter and drink through a straw while he was up there? So why the need for de- and re- hydration breaks at all? No don't answer that. It's because he's an attention seeking, fraudster.

    * Which is about as long as that c*nt Blaine managed to hang on for.

  12. ClickMonster
    Stop

    @ Sarah Bee

    I also approve of crazy shit for the sake of crazy shit ... however, this was just shit.

  13. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: @ Sarah Bee

    Fair point.

    I liked the Blaine-in-a-box thing though. I went to see him get lowered down. Amazing how many people were there just to go "pfft, this is shit", on an especially cold night. That's entertainment.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    Target practice

    Why don't they get those people that go into schools and shoot kids just come and use him as target practice instead. Then everyone would be happy - less dead kids and the shooter wouldn't even have to turn the gun on himself afterwards because everyone would be grateful.

    Twat! (The "magician", not the gunman) P.S. I'm not in favour of guns.

    I did like the word Twatdangle though ;-)

  15. Mike Crawshaw

    "pfft this is shit..."

    "I liked the Blaine-in-a-box thing though. I went to see him get lowered down. Amazing how many people were there just to go "pfft, this is shit", on an especially cold night." (Sarah, 14:30)

    They said that because they were hoping the box would get dropped...

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    RE: RE: @ Sarah Bee

    The blaine in a box thing just proves that London is full of the following:

    -tourists, who would have gone to see it because they thought it was something "Good",

    -media whores who were hoping to be filmed in the crowd so they could fill their otherwise empty lives by telling everyone they meet that they'd been on the telly,

    -and people so isolated in the endless drudge of their otherwise pointless existence that going to see someone with an even more pointless existence than theirs made them feel slightly better about it all for a few minutes before going back to their cold empty flat and drinking themselves to sleep in front of Sex in the City

    Oh, and some people might have gone in the hope that he didn't survive the ordeal. One can hope after all.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Think straight?

    I don't think he thinks straight anyway, so... what's the challenge?

  18. Tonto Popaduopolos

    It's poptastic! Not arf!

    Searching for a destiny that's mine

    there's another place another time.

    Touching many hearts along the way

    yeah

    Hoping that I'll never have to say

    It's just an illusion - illusion - illusion. (interspersed with - ooh ooh ooh ooh ah, If you wish to be precise).

    A classic song by Imagination.

    The guy clearly had a rush of blood to the head and thought this was a good idea. He clearly under-estimated what a complete cock people think he is.

  19. Mr Chris

    Death dive?

    "*Death dive*"? It was a bungy jump in slow motion, the twat.

  20. Daniel
    Happy

    I read somewhere

    that hanging people upside down for long periods can be used to turn ordinary humans into wanton, insatiable craven sex slaves.

    Does that explain Sarah then?

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    Furthermore....

    I'm annoyed I posted anonymously before, because now you don't know which post I'm following up on (well aside from El Reg, the ISP, GCHQ and the FBI, but who's logging anyway - {I probably shouldn't have put those abbreviations just there}).

    Anyway, I think that the Twatdangler word and its assciated variants should be in the dictionary as they are brilliant. I also think that they should not be associated with the original upside down w*nker just for extra publicity - what a great CV anyway - yeah I can survive in a box for a bit and pee upside down. So can many tramps!! Hello!!! Sod the censorship, lets do that kids rhyming game:

    My first is a W

    My rest is in Anchor

    As it happens it also rhymes with Twatdangler

    [See next week when I can probably find something to rhyme with "Stunt"]

  22. Andrew Moore
    Happy

    Actually...

    Twatdangler is not the best phrase I've heard all week. That accolade goes to the person who referred to the under-educated cannon fodder in the US Army as "hick bullet sponges".

  23. Law
    Paris Hilton

    RE: well

    "... I couldn't walk straight or think straight for a week. So it is a feat, ..."

    *quagmire voice* ALLLLLLLLLL-RIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT... gigadi gigadi GI-GA-DEE!! ;)

    *The Todd voice* That's what she said!! Innuendo-five *holds hand up for slapage*

    Paris - for obvious reasons!

  24. Efros
    Paris Hilton

    He is a twat

    He is currently being touted as an "endurance artist" whetever the fuck that is!

    Paris cos she's much nicer to look at, and much easier to endure than that idiot.

    Efros

  25. Ben Holmes

    @Law

    *SLAP*

  26. Henry
    Happy

    pee bag + catheter, problem solved

    Didn't want to pee all over the spectators? Easily solved with pee bag + catheter.

  27. Archie McPherson
    Coat

    Ooh er

    "At the end of the first day I thought I wasn't going to make it. I didn't know what I was going to do, but I didn't want to disappoint everybody, so I kept pushing and going as hard as I could."

    Should have maybe reconsidered that vindaloo prior to the event then.

    Now where the feck's my gas mask?

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    does the pee bag

    go with his pea brain?

  29. robbie
    Paris Hilton

    Bounders

    I was the right way up, and you're the tw*tdanglers.

    Yours sincerely folks, David Blaine

    Paris 'cos she's a triumph of form over function like me.

  30. Charles Manning

    New tard on the block

    Blainetard: a fan of this pathetic bloke.

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    Scaramouche, Scaramouche, Can You Do The Flangedangle?

    that is all

  32. Robert Harrison

    @Lee 15:06

    Now that made me laugh, have you been reading TVGoHome recently?

  33. TeeCee Gold badge
    Coat

    Just maybe.

    He wasn't worried about sprinkling the bystanders.

    I reckon he'd worked out that if he had taken a leak while up there, everyone would have known that the whole stunt was just pissing in the wind.

    Mine's the one with the suspicious droplets on the shoulders.

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Street Magic

    Strong Bad: "I could go with the recent trend of street magic, but it usually just descends into dudes doing stupid crap to themselves in public."

    Seems about right.

  35. sam

    Reminds me...

    ... of Time Trumpet, the comedy show which looked at now from the future. According to the show in 2009 Blaine wired all his nerve endings up to the internet to allow himself to be controlled for two weeks.

    The public killed him in less than 3 seconds.

  36. jimmy you
    Paris Hilton

    Paul Daniels

    I don't know if you saw the footage on youtube or elsewhere but when he 'amazingly disappeared into the sky' and was actually just dangling in the darkness like a cheap angel Gabriel in a school nativity whilst the crowd were booing and jeering him..well, it was funny how even the live broadcast managed to keep playing crowd sounds from earlier (before they were shouting 'YOU SUCK!' and booing). I'm not saying I expected him to really disappear but he's the friggin' illusionist right? surely he can do better than to 'disappear' by being dragged into a dark area on the end of some cables?

    Paul Daniels would have done a better job!

    He really deserves the twatdangle name and I think it should go into the next revision of the Oxford dictionary with his special appearance in the definition.

    Only Paris will do...

  37. Dillon Pyron
    Pirate

    I've got his solution

    Dobb-Hoff and Foley. Of course, I'd pay to see them inserted (I've seen the procedure. The recipient is NEVER happy).

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