back to article Join the Q: British intel agencies seek tech-savvy apprentices

GCHQ, MI5 and MI6 are searching for would-be Qs, technically minded apprentices keen to cut their teeth working for British intelligence. Would-be tech quartermasters have until 14 November to get in their security service apprenticeship applications for this year's scheme. An apprenticeship "could be a tempting alternative to …

  1. Pen-y-gors

    CV?

    Not sure how good this looks on a CV.

    2016-2025 - Worked for Universal Export as filing clerk

    "And what did the job entail?"

    "Errm...stuff?"

    1. David Lewis 2

      Re: CV?

      An apprenticeship "could be a tempting alternative to a university degree – and a unique start to a career"

      What about in the future when your CV won't get past the automated "Degree Required" filter and go straight in the "reject" pile.

      While I applaud the reintroduction of modern apprenticeships I fear it may take some time for this "innovation" to percolate through the Recruitment Consultants & Human Refuse departments.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: CV?

        You tell the HR departments their deepest darkest secrets and they put you to the top of the hire pile. Got to be some perks of working for the Stasi of Gloucester.

    2. phuzz Silver badge

      Re: CV?

      The euphemism for working at GCHQ is "I'm a civil servant, based in Cheltenham".

      1. Adam 52 Silver badge

        Re: CV?

        Our security consultants just come straight out with "I was part of the cyber offence team at GCHQ". No need for euphemism.

        To be honest it's an attractive proposition, 5 years at GCHQ being treated awfully and then 40 years charging huge day rates on the back of it.

        1. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
          Big Brother

          Re: CV?

          The advice given to me when leaving the civil service where I did various /Redacted/ things was

          Fill out the CV with "MoD Civil servant (starting date)-(finishing date)", with a bare outline of your job title.

          and the address of your last posting.

          If they want to know more, tell them to write to the address and ask, but all they'll get back is "(applicant) was a MoD Civil servant (staring date)-(finishing date), position held (whatever)"

          "I could tell you all what I did, but then I'd goto prison" is also an option during interviews

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: CV?

        At Bletchley Park, I was explaining Tunny to my mother in law. The guy who should have been explaining it asked "Oh. Have you worked there?"

        I haven't, (and never will do,) so replied "No, but I've done a bit of maths."

        And he looked me up and down, and said "Thought so, the real ones always deny it."

        I felt like Brian denying divinity.

  2. J.G.Harston Silver badge

    My latest job vacancies email included "Cyber Security Trainee" so I followed the link to look at the details. But the website demands a password stronger than my banking password. WTF***gF***? A ****g job vacancies website? NO. More and more this is happening, jumped up pissant websites thinking the information they hold is so so so valuable even more valuable than access to your money that they make it harder to apply for a job than it is to get to your money.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      WTF?

      Complains about a password being to secure when applying for a cyber security role.

      Please don't apply for any more jobs, you're in the wrong role.

      IoT security is over there >>>>>>

      1. J.G.Harston Silver badge

        That was only the latest in a long line of examples. We'll soon be at the point where Facebook demands a password with the same strength as my banking password.

        1. getHandle

          Last time I was asked to set a password I entered approx 20 random letters and numbers. It was rejected for not containing any upper case characters...

        2. Wiltshire

          Sounds perfect!

          Then we will be able to logon to our banking app with our TwatFace accounts.

          What could possibly go wrong?

        3. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

          It all depends on your benchmark: the strength of your banking password. Are you with Tesco?

      2. Pen-y-gors

        @lost all faith

        No, he has a point. Security comes from a variety of directions. Simply having a 'complicated' password adds nothing if it's stored in plain text! And it may be counter-productive if the rules are so esoteric (must include one 5-letter Latvian word in UPPERCASE, and seven digits between 2 and 3) that the only way to remember it is to use a Post-it note.

    2. dajames

      But the website demands a password stronger than my banking password.

      Maybe ... just maybe ... they don't actually require a password for the site, but they're interested to see what sort of password you regard as secure?

  3. HmmmYes

    Yes.....

    Im sure theyll pay enougth for a budding young cyber expert to live in either Chelthenham or London.

    Fail.

    1. David Pollard

      ... but there's good surfing at Bude.

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's a great idea

    Yes, the apprenticeship is great, I got one (rather a while ago presented by Admiral Sir Richard Clayton GCB) and now I are cyber-security engineer, earning a decent packet, sort-of. . .

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Earning a decent packet?

      Surely that should be 'watching all your packets'

  5. Wiltshire

    Harrumph. Never needed any of this kind of paperwork when I worked for MI9.

    Back then, we were helping Brits escape from occupied Europe.

    But maybe now we're helping Brits escape from the occupied EU, things are different?

  6. David Shaw
    Go

    Nearly right ( re:CV rejection)

    I pursued a full technician apprenticeship, at the world's first wireless factory, was put through technical college for a 'tec then 'HNC' (higher tec). I did start a degree in science at the OU but haven't finished it yet. Where I did find a career (after a U.K. defence downturn when I was suggested by HR to 'flee') was first Germany, they are used to apprenticeships & technical qualifications. So I enjoyed my work at R&S and was very pleased to meet Dr.Rohde.

    I then moved to Switzerland where CERN was extremely happy to employ 'electroniciens' - their analogue is a diploma from the Hautes Ecoles

    and now I'm still in scientific research in another part of Europe, where there remains a grading structure for exactly the apprentice career. I'll probably stay here unless technical salaries in the U.K. quadruple.

    I agree that in USA or say Doha, the BSc + nowadays an MSc would give a great career path in STEM. However I did earn £37.50 each week , every week, whilst an apprentoid & whilst doing the 'tec, which is a bit better than the negative 27 grand for a BSc nowadays!

    1. annodomini2

      Re: Nearly right ( re:CV rejection)

      Negative £50-60k when you add living costs (assumes not at home).

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Erm

    What, work for the baddies?

  8. WibbleMe

    How many young people can actually commute to central london.. not may.

    Clearly they are looking for you put their influence on them rather than seeking out experienced veterans from.

    20 years go I got a 1:1, exploring opportunities talking to a someone who trains people in this kind of thing they said sorry wrong university even before I told them what I Honored in.

    Same with most of the establishment, try and Find a QC not from a particular private school, you won't!

    1. phuzz Silver badge

      I think the bit about "a job in London" is mainly just to attract more applicants. Most of GCHQ is based in Cheltenham, and that's where almost all the jobs will be.

      A few people might get taken on in London, but most will end up working in the doughnut.

      But hey, at least if you live in Cheltenham you'll be handy for at least a couple of those public schools.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      20 years go I got a 1:1, exploring opportunities talking to a someone who trains people in this kind of thing they said sorry wrong university even before I told them what I Honored in.

      Times change thankfully, pity you couldn't have said 'but you let a gay genius save the world from two more years of total war.'

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Risky

    Speaking hypothetically, what happens is:

    you get to the stage where you agree a start date in 3 to 4 months time,

    a few weeks later you spend all day on the train (at your expense) to get to their office for a drug test (i.e. they take a few hairs from your head)

    then they ask for personal details of friends and family for positive vetting (or whatever it is called in these cybertimes)

    finally you email a week before that date to check first-day arrangements only to be told that there is no apprenticeship for you, good luck with the rest of your life, and don't bother replying to this message - leaving the nasty suspicion that they either didn't leave enough time for the vetting or an unexpected proportion of those applying had passed it

    If you have a job, or are a student looking for a summer job that will look good on your cv, you are taking a significant risk applying to one of these institutions - hypothetically.

    1. Adam 52 Silver badge

      Re: Risky

      What he said. Although, hypothetically, you may make it through vetting and have been given a start date when they decide that there's no budget to hire.

      Realistically these jobs (and many other public sector jobs) are only open to those already in employment who can afford the long wait to get accepted and high risk of rejection at the last minute.

  10. hi_robb

    Hmmm

    Pleas pick a password with at least 8 characters.

    SnowWhiteAndTheSevenDwarfs

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