back to article New UK National silicone database will help avoid boobs

A national silicone breast implant database is to be created to ensure faulty products can be traced in the event of a product recall. The Breast and Cosmetic Implant Registry (BCIR) is intended to prevent a repeat of faulty Poly Implant Prothèse (PIP) silicone breast implants scandal in 2010, in which fraudulently …

  1. Velv
    Paris Hilton

    Can't they just put NFC chips in them so they can be scanned?

    1. Dan 55 Silver badge
      Coat

      That would make contactless payments and getting through Tube barriers interesting.

    2. Anonymous Blowhard

      "Can't they just put NFC chips in them so they can be scanned?"

      It would certainly help with the "are they real or not" question...

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Would that be a silicon chip?

  2. This post has been deleted by its author

  3. hi_robb

    Hmmm

    I hope it doesn't go TITSUP...

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: Hmmm

      Certainly could be a bit of a handful.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's small situation that's just been blown up out of all proportion, just a storm in a 34A 34EE cup.

  5. Jason Hindle

    So will this database be managed by BAAPS?

    (British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons)

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Is it running on an Oracle DB? They're well suited to tits.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      DBA

      The DBA in this case would stand for "Dodgy Bulgarian Airbags"

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Re: DBA

        The server will be located in Bristol. With a backup in Naples.

  7. James 51

    Hmm, the article seemed to be focused on cosmetic surgery done in the private sectory but what about reconstructive surgery carried out by the NHS?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      what about reconstructive surgery carried out by the NHS?

      There's not enough money in the NHS for that.

      1. katrinab Silver badge

        You can get breast implants on the NHS if you had your breasts removed due to cancer.

    2. katrinab Silver badge

      That would be on the NHS patient records anyway.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This is an interesting topic...

    I think I'd like to stay abreast of it.

  9. Mark 85

    MIsread the headline

    I thought it was about avoiding politicians... different boobs then.

  10. Herby

    In addition begs the question...

    What unsecured server is going to hold these data records. I'm sure that there might also be a "public records" access question. For a sum, one could "verify" that a record exists.

    Yup... The "are they real" database. Has a nice ring to it.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    And then....

    the database gets hacked and leaked. Now everyone knows those aren't real...

  12. TRT Silver badge

    How much...

    mammary would that occupy?

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