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back to article Redback sinks fangs into Aussie's todger AGAIN... second time in five months

An Aussie builder has endured the agony of being bitten on the todger by a redback spider for the second time in five months*. The 21-year-old who asked not to be fully named, for obvious reasons, said that lightning had indeed struck twice in “pretty much the same spot” when he used a portable loo on a building site in Sydney …

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  1. Geoff Campbell Silver badge
    Facepalm

    "You're not here for the hunting, are you?"

    ...as the old joke goes.

    GJC

    7 0 Reply
  2. Ketlan
    Happy

    Eek...

    Seems like a good opportunity to ask everyone to suck the venom out for you. Okay, you'd probably die but at least you'd die happy.

    4 0 Reply
    1. kmac499
      Reply Icon

      Re: Eek...

      and as the old joke ends "You're gonna die Bruce!" said Greg to his recently todger-stung mate..

      8 0 Reply
    2. Mark 85
      Reply Icon
      Coat

      Re: Eek...

      On the other hand, don't ask them to swallow.

      Ok.. I'll go quietly to the time out corner for that.

      2 0 Reply
  3. Magani
    Unhappy

    Ear Worm Central

    Thanks a lot, El Reg.

    I now cannot get John Williamson singing 'There's a Redback on the Toilet Seat' out of my head.

    0 0 Reply
    1. Black Betty
      Reply Icon

      Re: Ear Worm Central

      Spend a few moments to contemplate the exact meaning of "Shoot the bucks, grab a gin, cut her hair, Break her in."

      This upgrade to Shai-Hulud class, courtesy of a shitty day on the internet.

      Share and enjoy.

      1 0 Reply
  4. Andrew Commons

    Black Widow?

    I don't think the image is a red back.

    2 0 Reply
    1. Black Betty
      Reply Icon

      Re: Black Widow?

      Same critter give or take a clade.

      1 0 Reply
    2. Wilseus
      Reply Icon

      Re: Black Widow?

      "I don't think the image is a red back."

      Looks like one to me.

      0 0 Reply
      1. Robert Helpmann??
        Reply Icon
        Boffin

        Re: Black Widow?

        It's a redback. I did a double-take when I saw the pic because I thought it was a black widow. As alluded to above, they are related species.

        0 0 Reply
  5. batfink
    WTF?

    Occupy??

    I hope I'm never bitten by a blue-ringed occupus...

    4 0 Reply
    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Occupy??

      Occupussy?

      That'll be an interesting remake..

      1 0 Reply
  6. lglethal Silver badge
    Joke

    Enjoy!

    Seems an appropriate time to play my favourite aussie song...

    Scared Weird Little Guys - Come to Australia (you might accidentally get killed!)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdihHnaOQsk

    3 0 Reply
  7. Sequin

    Can you take away the pain but leave the swelling Doc?

    4 0 Reply
  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Nurse!

    Can you take a look at this?

    2 0 Reply
  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I wonder if shaving the ball sack could prevent such injuries?

    1 0 Reply
  10. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
    Coat

    Not all creatures down there are dangerous

    some of the sheep are safe

    OK, time to go. Mine is the one with "The Last Continent" in the pocket

    2 0 Reply
    1. Mike Moyle
      Reply Icon

      Re: Not all creatures down there are dangerous

      Knowing the Aussies, I'll presume that they already have a joke about how knowing which sheep are the safe ones could save you from a nasty paternity suit later, and not invent another one.

      3 0 Reply

  11. This post has been deleted by its author

  12. Sir Sham Cad

    Coincidence?

    Once is unlucky, twice is careless. If this happens to this bloke one more time he's going to have some explaining to do.

    "Sir, are you sure you're not just trying to fuck spiders?"

    7 0 Reply

  13. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Crazy Operations Guy
      Reply Icon

      "All that said, St. Patrick had the right idea."

      You mean find a place that doesn't have snakes then claim to have driven them all away?

      5 0 Reply
      1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
        Reply Icon

        Re: "All that said, St. Patrick had the right idea."

        ... and that's how you do marketing!

        3 0 Reply
  14. You aint sin me, roit
    Coat

    "not the pressure immobilisation technique"

    I suppose you don't get a nurse to suck the venom out either...

    Kind of takes away all the fun of penile injuries.

    0 0 Reply
    1. Crazy Operations Guy
      Reply Icon

      Re: "not the pressure immobilisation technique"

      You really, really don't want that. Increased blood flow and pressure will make it hurt so much worse, and with all the blood concentrated there, plus it will likely cause severe necrosis of the affected area and require amputation...

      2 0 Reply
  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Maybe along with air freshener

    That port-a-potty needs a can of bug spray with a generous cloud automatically released under the seat when the door is opened!

    0 0 Reply
    1. MrDamage Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: Maybe along with air freshener

      I've always treated the can of "Fuck those insect bastards right off" as air freshener, especially in outside thunderboxes.

      3 0 Reply
  16. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

    If humans can live in Australia, surely a Mars colony isn't an impossible dream?

    8 0 Reply
  17. When Pissoires Attack!!!!

    Mystified

    He is a man! Why is he sitting down?

    0 3 Reply
    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: Mystified

      Because taking a dump while standing can get...erm...messy.

      2 0 Reply
  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Roughly 2,000 people are bitten by highly venomous redbacks each year in the land down under"

    Does the "land down under" refer to "that area" below the belt or below the equator?

    1 0 Reply
    1. ShadowDragon8685
      Reply Icon

      Yes.

      0 0 Reply

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