back to article SpaceX Dragon capsule lands in Pacific carrying 12 moustronauts

The SpaceX team has successfully recovered its Dragon capsule which was sent back to Earth by the International Space Station. Recovery teams en route to Dragon, pic taken from about 10 miles out pic.twitter.com/B4ofhGZptD — SpaceX (@SpaceX) August 26, 2016 The capsule, carrying more than 3,000 pounds of cargo, was detached …

  1. bob, mon!
    FAIL

    Eh?

    "Stem cell-derived hart tissue was sent into orbit and will not be assessed to give data on the health risks of a Mars mission. "

    I don't understand (a) why they wanted to send deer tissue into orbit, nor (b) why the won't assess it once it came back. Although maybe they realized they sent the wrong tissue sample and just don't care anymore?

    1. HCV

      Re: Eh?

      I'm thinking El Reg needs to call a close to their experimental "Proof Automated Reading Is Sexy!" module, and hire the requisite callow intern.

      1. Scroticus Canis
        Paris Hilton

        Re: Eh? - Forgot the Icon?

        "I'm thinking El Reg needs to call a close to their experimental "Proof Automated Reading Is Sexy!" module, and hire the requisite callow intern."

        FTFY :)

    2. MondoMan

      Re: Eh?

      Whoever is assigned capsule-breaching duties should probably first ascertain whether the occupants are indeed "Musketeer" relatives rather than Mouseketeer relatives...

  2. Christoph

    "12 mice"

    Or is that 12 hyper-intelligent pan-dimensional beings?

  3. JassMan
    Joke

    So long and thanks for all the fish

    Hopefully these mice aren't related to the ones monitoring Deep Thought before it is destroyed by the Vogons.

  4. cosymart
    FAIL

    Mice

    I think the mice actually wrote the article. This is bad :-(

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    Multi-use vehicle

    I'm pretty sure most of the load consisted of dehydrated solids.

    1. W4YBO

      Re: Multi-use vehicle

      "I'm pretty sure most of the load consisted of dehydrated solids."

      Mice would probably enjoy that.

    2. phuzz Silver badge
      Boffin

      Re: Multi-use vehicle

      The "trash" (including the poo) that isn't required on the ground is placed in the rear of the spacecraft (the "trunk"), which detaches when it reaches the atmosphere and burns up.

      Only important materials (like mice), get to ride in the part with a heat shield and parachutes.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Multi-use vehicle

        Wait, are you saying that people will be returning to Earth preceded by their own flaming poo??

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    good news/bad news

    Boffins: Good news mice: we're going to collect your sperm to examine it.

    Mice: yay, that sounds fun! wait... what's the catch?

    Boffins: The collection method. First we'll chop your heads off, then we'll extract your gonads through your necks.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Coat

      Re: good news/bad news

      If I agreed to let them chop my gonads off, would that get me on the ISS?

      * Now where did I put those fake gonads...?

    2. Goldmember

      Re: good news/bad news

      I was going to ask how someone would go about extracting mouse sperm.

      But on second thought, I actually don't want to know.

  7. Stretch

    Yey for the mice!

    "Boffins will harvest the mice organs for study"

    Oh... Shit.

    1. Alan Brown Silver badge

      Re: Yey for the mice!

      watch out Bagpuss. They're coming for you next.

  8. M7S

    "NASA will watch the mice carefully"

    Because if during the landing they had a chat with the Dolphins, we should start putting our affairs into order...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "NASA will watch the mice carefully"

      Probably watching them planning escape attempts around their tiny gym equipment.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Angel

        Re: "NASA will watch the mice carefully"

        It's just an exercise wheel.

        Excuse me, exercise centrifuge.

  9. Mage Silver badge
    Coat

    Deja Vu

    Didn't we do all this in the 1960s?

    Also any orbit inside the magnetosphere / van Allen / Ionosphere etc or whatever, lower orbits, doesn't have much radiation compared to interplanetary space, or even space between here and the moon?

    Mines the one with the radiation badge.

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: Deja Vu

      But if we don't put mice into low earth orbit we won't know if one day it might be possible for humans to go into space.

      1. Mage Silver badge

        Re: Deja Vu

        Some guys even went to the Moon. I remember watching the grainy B&W video.

        I'm baffled. There is even an old wiki article

        What is the real reason for these experiments?

        Long term LEO radiation experiments have also been done on Mir, Spacelab and ISS.

        On 31 August 1950, the U.S. launched a mouse into space (137 km) aboard a V-2 (the Albert V flight, which, unlike the Albert I-IV flights, did not have a monkey), but the rocket disintegrated because the parachute system failed.[5] The U.S. launched several other mice in the 1950s.

        On 22 July 1951, the Soviet Union launched the R-1 IIIA-1 flight, carrying the dogs Tsygan (Russian: Цыган, "Gypsy") and Dezik (Russian: Дезик) into space, but not into orbit.[6] These two dogs were the first living higher organisms successfully recovered from a spaceflight.[6] Both space dogs survived the flight, although one would die on a subsequent flight. The U.S. launched mice aboard spacecraft later that year; however, they failed to reach the altitude for true spaceflight.

        On 3 November 1957, the second-ever orbiting spacecraft carried the first animal into orbit, the dog Laika, launched aboard the Soviet Sputnik 2 spacecraft (nicknamed 'Muttnik' in the West). Laika died during the flight, as was intended because the technology to return from orbit had not yet been developed. At least 10 other dogs were launched into orbit and numerous others on sub-orbital flights before the historic date of 12 April 1961, when Yuri Gagarin became the first human in space.

        On 13 December 1958, a Jupiter IRBM, AM-13, was launched from Cape Canaveral, Florida, with a United States Navy-trained South American squirrel monkey named Gordo on board. The nose cone recovery parachute failed to operate and Gordo was lost. Telemetry data sent back during the flight showed that the monkey survived the 10G of launch, 8 minutes of weightlessness and 40G of reentry at 10,000 miles per hour. The nose cone sank 1,302 nautical miles (2,411 km) downrange from Cape Canaveral and was not recovered.

        1. Captain DaFt

          Re: Deja Vu

          "On 13 December 1958, a Jupiter IRBM, AM-13, was launched from Cape Canaveral, Florida, with a United States Navy-trained South American squirrel monkey named Gordo on board. ... The nose cone sank 1,302 nautical miles (2,411 km) downrange from Cape Canaveral and was not recovered."

          Hence the origin of seamonkeys?

          1. itzman

            Re: Hence the origin of seamonkeys?

            Er, no...

            Sea-Monkeys is a brand name for brine shrimp—a group of crustaceans that undergo cryptobiosis—sold in hatching kits as novelty aquarium pets. Developed in the United States in 1957 by Harold von Braunhut, the product was heavily marketed, especially in comic books, and remains a presence in popular culture. May 16 is National Sea-Monkey Day in the United States

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sea-Monkeys

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Deja Vu

          with a United States Navy-trained South American squirrel monkey named Gordo on board. The nose cone recovery parachute failed to operate and Gordo was lost. Telemetry data sent back during the flight showed that the monkey survived the 10G of launch, 8 minutes of weightlessness and 40G of reentry at 10,000 miles per hour. The nose cone sank 1,302 nautical miles (2,411 km) downrange from Cape Canaveral and was not recovered.

          Myth. The brain damaged monkey survived, minus one eye, and later became the British Prime minister who 'saved the world'.

    2. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Re: Deja Vu

      We did. However, our methods of examining the results where not anywhere near what we have today.

      1. I have not looked it up, but I would not be surprised if the mice have an interesting genotype to start off with (we now can pretty much vandalize mouse genome to order - not something available in the 60s).

      2. We can analyze the effects to a level which was in the realm of science fiction in the 60-s.

      All, in all - this is the reality of live sciences: half of the time you are redoing old experiments with new methods.

      1. MondoMan

        Re: Deja Vu

        In fairness, though, most of these in-orbit bio experiments are not very good science. Their main function is to make the public think that the manned space program is producing some scientific return-on-investment. Pretty much the only useful bio research in orbit is monitoring the astronauts themselves as to how their bodies degenerate under microgravity/enhanced radiation conditions, and what techniques might ameliorate that. And, of course, how to prevent or stop space-sickness, which still affects 1/3 to 1/2 of astronauts IIRC.

        1. Stoke the atom furnaces

          Re: Deja Vu

          Good point, and it is hardly as if dozens of humans have not been born after their parents went into space. Go experiment on them!

        2. Schlimnitz
          Trollface

          Re: Deja Vu

          A bit like Japanese whaling 'research' then?

    3. Sokolik

      Re: Deja Vu

      Yes, we Yanks lobbed up a chimpanzee named "Ham", and the Sovs lobbed up a dog (Alsatian?) named "Lika".

      1. toxicdragon
        WTF?

        Re: Deja Vu

        @ Sokolik Laika

  10. Ashley_Pomeroy

    Imagine if they opened the capsule and found just one mouse. Seemingly normal, but over the course of several weeks it starts to absorb things and transform into a giant plant, eventually menacing Westminster Abbey. Imagine that.

    "We're going to start again."

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Just so long as it doesn't mutate into a kitten and climb the Post Office Tower, then I'm cool with it.

  11. Valarian

    What's in it for the mice?

    LISTER: Sir, just suppose I did have a cat. Just suppose. What would you do with Frankenstein?

    HOLLISTER: I'd send it down to the medical centre, and I'd have it cut up and tests run on it.

    LISTER: Would you put it back together when you'd finished?

    HOLLISTER: Lister, the cat would be dead.

    LISTER: So, with respect, sir, what's in it for the cat?

    1. Leeroy
      Coat

      Re: What's in it for the mice?

      I wish they would send a kitten to the ISS, it could live up there and keep the humans company.

      As a bonus training it to use the kitty litter would be interesting and you can guarantee some awesome space lol cat vids :)

      Please don't chop it up when it gets back though !

      1. Mark 85

        Re: What's in it for the mice?

        Nothing like clogging up the ventilation system with cat hair... Then again, if the cat coughs up a hair ball, it could be interesting to watch it fly about.

  12. itzman
    Paris Hilton

    Do mice enjoy shagging?

    This of course is the challenge to anthropocentric thinking.

    How do we know that mice do not spend their entire lives in existential crisis, relieved only briefly by nibbling and shagging, and at other times a perpetual hell, of which being dissected for data comes as a blessed relief?

  13. Simon Harris

    Move on the ISS

    Does that make them Space Murines?

    1. Simon Harris

      Re: Move on the ISS

      Grrr.. Mice on the ISS...

      How did autocorrect manage to screw that up so well?... And how didn't I notice for a whole day!

  14. Ugotta B. Kiddingme

    mouse organ?

    Will the mice be arranged on a rack so that they can squeak 'The Bells of St. Mary'?

  15. JJKing
    Happy

    I was going to ask how someone would go about extracting mouse sperm.

    Duh, with tiny little mouse sized hands of course. I'm sure a Donald J Trump (aka Drumpf) has experience with specimens this tiny.

  16. Glenn 6

    A post-mission interview with the mousetronaughts revealed disappointment, as they discovered the moon is not in fact made of cheese.

  17. This post has been deleted by its author

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    Careful about exposing mice to cosmic radiation!

    When they opened up the recovered capsule, what there a tuneful cry of "Here I come to save the daayyy!!" from inside?

  19. E 2

    What about females?

    Why only male mice?

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