back to article Cyberpunks might not be crooks but they're really very rude

An innocuous El Reg story about Russian web miscreants provoked an entirely unexpected reaction when an offended cyberpunk took it upon himself to tell us how the headline hurt his feelings. The sensitive individual - who used the cock.li mail service - took objection to a piece entitled Oh deer.io: Cyberpunks using one-stop …

  1. Alister
    Coat

    Surely a Cunting Gaylord is a contradiction in terms?

    Oh, and as Cnut said "Eww, My feet are getting wet!"

    1. TRT Silver badge

      King Cnut? Is he the one who tried to tell C++ to rollback?

      1. Dan 55 Silver badge

        He wanted the simplicity and clarity that is K&R C but instead got showered in templates.

    2. phuzz Silver badge
      IT Angle

      King Cnut's grandfather was one King Harald Bluetooth, after whom the short range wireless protocol is named. The Bluetooth logo is made up of the runes of his initials.

      There's your IT angle right there.

  2. hplasm
    Happy

    El Eg

    The larval form of El Regg?

    1. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

      Re: El Eg

      Which came first; El chicken or El Egg

      1. VinceH

        Re: El Eg

        "Which came first; El chicken Vulture or El Egg"

        FTFY!

  3. Jedit Silver badge
    Trollface

    Perhaps a new page name is in order?

    "The Vagister: Gay/Lord News To The World".

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Perhaps a new page name is in order?

      El Reg is in fact a well-known lesbian magazine:

      http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/05/06/indy_reg/

      (actually they're only pretending to be lesbians to try and get laid**).

      ** allegedly.

  4. AustinTX

    Very rude, huh?

    Very rude, huh? Well, surely it's not the Canadians, then... Who's rude, let's think... Lookin' at YOU France!

    1. Ole Juul

      Re: Very rude, huh?

      please do not fart in my general direction

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Very rude, huh?

        Okay.

        But your daughter's still an unrequested silly thing.

    2. Dr_N

      Re: Very rude, huh?

      "Lookin' at YOU France!"

      The French are useless at swearing in English.

      I do my best to tutor them, though.

      1. heyrick Silver badge
        Happy

        Re: Very rude, huh?

        They're pretty useless at swearing in French too. All I ever hear at work is oh putaiiiiiiiiiiin!!!, or for the polite ones oh la vache! (which usually has me giggling). It just isn't quite the same degree of finesse as, say, this: http://youtu.be/pDWzGm1W0WY

  5. Little Mouse

    And I take objection to *this* article.

    It's offensive to "Cunting Gaylords".

    1. Hollerithevo

      Re: And I take objection to *this* article.

      Would that title perhaps refer to rather butch lesbians? If so, I claim it proudly now!

      1. Nick Ryan Silver badge

        Re: And I take objection to *this* article.

        ...and I hereby claim offense at this comment. Just because m'kay.

      2. Paul Crawford Silver badge

        Re: And I take objection to *this* article.

        Maybe the lesbian version would be a "Cocking Dykelords" instead?

        Or maybe the original cyberpunk just needs to take his dried frog pills?

    2. Dan 55 Silver badge

      Re: And I take objection to *this* article.

      How dare you presume to speak on behalf of cunting gaylords... unless you are one in which case my apologies.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I seem to recall that a Cyberpunk is some one both Punks and Goths can laugh at.

  7. joeldillon

    There's a whole town of Gaylords in Michigan.

    1. Jeffrey Nonken

      My sister married a Gaylord. And yes, I'm sure he's heard all the jokes.

  8. Big_Boomer Silver badge

    Wha?

    Cyberpunk is a "genre" so not sure if El Reggies should be using it to describe an individual or individuals. Now a cyber-punk would be an apt description of the thieving geek scum in question. If you take offence to my use of the term geek,....well you can Fdisk /mbr off and connect to 127.0.0.1!

  9. israel_hands
    Gimp

    Maybe he was comparing you to the fabled Gayboy Berserkers of Mad Max 2?

    A more terrifying paramilitary unit is hard to imagine.

  10. Kurt Meyer

    That's it?

    "DO NOT ASSOCIATE CYBERPUNKS WITH CRIME EL EG

    YOU CUNTING GAYLORDS"

    This is the entire FotW? My God, how low has the standard fallen? I could do better in my sleep.

    1. Teiwaz

      Re: That's it?

      Falling standards, yes, it's been creeping in, has anybody been keeping tabs when it'll reach idiocracy levels or are we there already, 'and I've just been too wrapped up in myself to notice?' as Arthur Dent once put it.

      As to 'cyberpunk', does seem light on the cyber, or was he just too 'punk' to bother about the capslock issue? Certainly not 'cyber' enough to take note of his spellchecker.

  11. EvilGardenGnome
    Headmaster

    What, you missed the reference to bulk boxes? Over here in the colonies they're commonly called gaylords. Makes the rest of the statement more uncomfortable...

    1. DNTP

      I have to strongly refrain from snickering when my associates in the shipping business casually use that word in conversation.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    He's not a cypherpunk

    He's a very naughty man-child.

  13. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
  14. Androgynous Cow Herd

    Ah jeez

    Those that seek reason to be offended are seldom de appointed. Get hard or quit calling yourself a punk at all.

  15. heyrick Silver badge
    Coat

    Poor guy missed a really great opportunity to come up with something truly original, something nobody has ever thought of before.

    You know, something like.... Cunty McCuntface.

  16. David Roberts
    Coat

    As a fan of the author William Gibson

    I have a sneaking sympathy for our foul mouthed flamer.

    Cyberpunk is a literary genre and should not be confused with cyber crooks. Although, come to think of it, the stories do feature a lot of (often unsuccessful) cyber crooks.

    O.K. carry on as you were.

    Mine's the one with the copy of Pattern Recognition in the pocket ->

    1. ecofeco Silver badge

      Re: As a fan of the author William Gibson

      With one or two exceptions, ALL of William Gibson's books and stories were about cyber crime and the term is directly associated with his works though it seems he did not coin the term.

      A quick search shows:

      "Bruce Bethke was actually the first one to put the word in ink with his 1980 short story titled, fittingly enough, “Cyberpunk”. The story was first printed in the November 1983 issue of Amazing Science Fiction Stories"

      It also shows:

      "Cyberpunk is a subgenre of science fiction in a future setting that tends to focus on the society ... Primary exponents of the cyberpunk field include William Gibson, Neal Stephenson, Bruce Sterling, Bruce Bethke, Pat Cadigan, Rudy Rucker, ..."

      Most of them also wrote about cyber crime and social dysfunction and dystopia.

      So little pissy britches can just STFU and learn how to use the Internet that they are so keen to be experts of. Then they can just fuck right off. Preferable up their own asshole. They might find the Pokeman monsters there as well.

      The Internet is not so old that these concepts have the haze of romanticism around them yet. We are living with the problems right now and it has serious consequences.

      1. heyrick Silver badge

        Re: As a fan of the author William Gibson

        "The Internet is not so old that these concepts have the haze of romanticism around them yet."

        Are you sure about that? I have two words for you: ka9q and dialup. The Internet was a nicer place back then because the technical barrier in getting the damn thing working (no Google to look for help on, no Google period) precluded, well, pretty much everybody.

        Then along came AOL and there went the neighbourhood, as they say.

        Agree with all the rest though.

      2. Chronos

        Re: As a fan of the author William Gibson

        Of course, the distinction between the punks and the "legitimate" authorities was blurred in most of those dystopian cyberpunk tomes as the authorities themselves were as bad if not worse than the cyber criminals depicted, so much so that you found yourself on the side of the lesser of two evils.

        For another good example of the genre, try Chris Moriarty's Spin books. Even the protagonist loses her moral compass at the end.

  17. Hstubbe

    lost the war...

    Hackers/cyberpunks have come to realize how irrelevant they are in the real world. Instead of just letting go, they are now looking for enemies everywhere. Just look at the rat's nest the once reputable german hacker club ccc has become as of late, slinging propaganda about their former allies to cement their own believe in their self-rightous holiness. Supporting psychopaths (hi jake) that crush all opposition in a way that makes Hitler look like a kitten.

    Just go and die, self-claimed saviours but hopelessly ineffective hacker losers. The world really doesn't need your whining and infighting.

  18. cantankerous swineherd

    CUNTING GAYLORDS? they're a popular beat combo, m'lud.

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon