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back to article Revealed: How Dell can afford $67bn for EMC – by selling $650k laptops

Dell's ingenious strategy for financing its audacious $67bn acquisition of EMC is a secret no more. Dell is already facing a staggering debt mountain to fund the takeover. Now a crack Reg investigative team can reveal that the Round Rock computing giant has an ambitious plan in place to raise the cash necessary for the deal …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    that Windows 7 is worth every dollar!

    15 0 Reply
    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Windows

      The same model with Windows 10 model is $9.99

      And it comes with a free mousepad. :)

      4 0 Reply
  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    looks like they've taken a leaf out of Northrop Grummans business model

    7 0 Reply
    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      looks like they've taken a leaf out of Northrop Grummans business model

      Yes, I assumed those prices were for the F-35 diagnostic laptops.

      14 0 Reply
      1. Anonymous Coward
        Reply Icon
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: looks like they've taken a leaf out of Northrop Grummans business model

        Congress has a big hand in those $10,000 toilet seats as well. First they hide our black ops budget (which is bigger I think that all but a few countries entire defense budget) in the regular defense budget and then on top of that I am sure Congress gets a significant amount of its pet projects/outright corruption in there as well.

        3 0 Reply
      2. perfgeek
        Reply Icon

        Re: looks like they've taken a leaf out of Northrop Grummans business model

        Shirley the F-35 is LockheedMartin?

        0 0 Reply
  3. Fan of Mr. Obvious

    Bridesmaid...

    Crap, missed out. All they have now are the lame $1,600 - $3,600 units.

    8 0 Reply
    1. John Miles
      Reply Icon

      Re: missed out.

      No problem I can source some for you, but I am afraid might be a bit dearer than the Dell offer ;)

      6 0 Reply
      1. PNGuinn
        Reply Icon
        Boffin

        Re: missed out.

        "No problem I can source some for you"

        Two questions:

        1. Do they come with a free bridge?

        2. How fast are they in a vacuum?

        1 0 Reply
        1. John Miles
          Reply Icon
          Joke

          Re: Two questions:

          Bridge is free, - you just need to collect from current location

          Not sure why you'd want to keep it in a Vacuum cleaner, but it shouldn't impact performance, though getting dust in unit may cause issues

          0 0 Reply
  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    nice try Dell

    Wow the only thing Dell is missing from the Apple business model is the effective marketing to actually make their laptops desirable (doesn't help them being butt ugly generic as well).

    2 7 Reply
  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Reassuringly Expensive...

    ...and then you'd still see glitches, crashes and Windows 10 nags.

    0 0 Reply
    1. Mark 85
      Reply Icon
      Devil

      Re: Reassuringly Expensive...

      No necessarily. Maybe the extra dosh is for the GWX Control Panel install?

      2 0 Reply
  6. Brian Miller
    Childcatcher

    "No Reg Label"

    Sorry, what?? No red vulture on the lappy? How dare you, Mr. Dell! For that kind of money, I want that label!

    0 0 Reply

  7. This post has been deleted by its author

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Fuck

    I just sold my house and they take the page down.

    Thanks Dell.

    0 0 Reply
  9. PaulCharlton

    We - Compaq UK - once shipped an obsolete Compaq D286 in the UK for £250,000. It should have been £250 .... it did make us nostalgic for the old days though .... fantastic margins. We did fix it later of course.

    0 0 Reply

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