"delicious example of the challenge of science writing in non-metric America"
The Register should offer their services for proper unit conversion. Obviously neither metric nor imperial units will do for a christian publication: If god wanted humans to measure in feet, he'd have given us more than two to do it.
The linguine, a naturally regrowing resource that comes in convenient packs of 118, needs to be publicized as convenient god-given measurement unit. Beyond the single linguine unit, the linguine pack lp (118 linguine end-to-end), the linguine width lw and the linguine thickness lt should be used to describe especially large or small objects.