"The emergency rogue vulture hotline"
Are they more usually involved in the rounding up of El Reg hacks who have gone off the deep end after reading one press release too many?
The "massive great big" vulture which went AWOL in Somerset last week has indeed proved as "hard to miss" as his owners promised, after he was spotted at Royal Naval Air Station Yeovilton yesterday. According to Birds of Prey Displays, Arthur – a white-headed vulture – was carried away by strong winds during a performance at …
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If you class a vulture as "fixed wing", then the Fleet Air Arm have just had a bazillion per cent increase in their offensive capability after Shiney Faced Dave scrapped Harriers and carriers back in 2010.
And I'll wage the vulture will carry more payload, have higher availability and greater stealth than the F35 promised for some future decade.
"Dissing the F35, whilst you're probably correct, are you Lewis in disguise?"
Or one of the remaining patriots in defence procurement?
Someone should have asked at an early stage why the car industry doesn't make 7 seater sports cabriolet SUVs with pickup flatbeds and a 30ft turning circle for city traffic, so they only need one model.
"Dissing the F35, whilst you're probably correct, are you Lewis in disguise?"
I think Mr. 'swinger' was merely pointing out the difference between a vulture and a turkey.
(not to be confused with that other magnificent bird/fighter/bomber, also nicknamed 'The Turkey' - the F-14 Tomcat, none the less, which did what it was supposed to do, on time, on budget and with aplomb*. So not really a 'turkey' as such.)
*[made the last bit up, but it can't be any worse than the F-35, can it?]
I find it quite amusing the terms of endearment the pilots have for their aircrafts. Apparently, the F-4 Phantom was known as 'The (Flying) Brick'. The B-1 Bomber is currently known as 'The Bone'. I heard a rumour they were developing a Reconnaissance version of the aircraft - the B-1R - but they quickly scrapped the whole idea when a potential pilot pointed out the probable particular nickname they would end up using - it just wouldn't fly - so to speak.
Coat's on. Stop shoving...
'the F-14 Tomcat, none the less, which did what it was supposed to do, on time, on budget and with aplomb'
Not strictly true, the original TF30 engines in the F-14A were prone to compressor stall which led to all kinds of problems such as the infamous flat spin from Top Gun and around 28% of all F-14 accidents. It was only when it was re-engined with the GE F110 13 years after originally entering service that it really attained its full potential as the F-14B and D (new build).
It also didn't gain the originally planned ground attack capability until around 1990 which led to the USMC cancelling their procurement plans for it.
Having said that the top scoring Tom Cat pilot did it in an A model, Brig. General Jalil Zandi of the IRIAF.
Salesman. Yes. It's the finest fairweather fighter on the market. You won't find a better one at the price. Or any price for that matter.
Strauss: Yes, it's very nice. But we need a plane for bombing, straffing, assault and battery, interception, ground support and reconnaissance. Not just a fairweather fighter!
Salesman: Well, that's ok. We can make some modifications. It'll cost a little extra, but it's worth it. Just look at the shape of this beauty. Look, I tell you what we'll do. We'l redesign the plane, right? And instead of just calling it the F104, we'll call it the F104G.
Strauss: G?
Salesman: Yeah, eh, Herr Minister - G. G for Germany
Strauss: G. for Germany, eh....
You know those little hamsters that keep escaping from the cage and ripping up the new expensive furniture?
Quick, before the kids get home from school.
"Oh, look Daddy, there's a bloody big vulture in the back garden!"
"No, I don't believe it children. Oh yes, so it is! Wonder where that came from. Wonder what it's eating."
"Daddy, where have all the gerbils gone?"
It is RNAS Heron, Yeovilton is the name of the village.
The above fixed wing joke only works if you discount the Museum, which is full of fixed wing aircraft, including a very big, white, supersonic one.
Ré the F35, perhaps we should get some T50's, at least the Russians have managed to get them to fly.
I discounted that as a mistake by the guy who made the sign for the bird handlers.
I havent been in for a few years, but the signs always USED to read "RNAS Heron" - with "Yeovilton" underneath.
In fact (thinking about it), the "active air" side was RNAS Heron, and the admin/museum side were Yeovilton; never saw one with a "HMS" on it, that I can remember.
The BEST thing about the museum used to be the viewing gallery, where you could see the Shars and whirlybirds of the airbase in action.
The WORST thing was the food in the cafe, which made even old Navy rations look/taste good.
The above fixed wing joke only works if you discount the Museum,
Well I will discount the museum, on the grounds that most of those will never fly again.
But I'll use that as an opportunity to (yet again) plug the Shuttleworth Collection at Old Warden in Bedfordshire, where many of the exhibits do fly from time to time, and the whole place reeks of fuel, lubricants and dope, unlike the impressive, but rather sterilised exhibits at (say) Cosford or Hendon. Very well worth taking a lloooonnggg detour to visit Old Warden, IMHO.
just imagine the problems if Yeovilton did have an F-35 on the strength........would have been a heck of an airstrike.
However the notional navy F-35 squadron will be based at an RAF station, not Yeovilton. Yeovilton will become a predominantly Royal Marines / Army base with Lynx and Wildcat helicopters