back to article Ransomware grifters offer to donate proceeds of crime to charity

Ransomware crooks are offering to donate ransom fees to a children's charity. Security experts dismiss the promise as “psychological manipulation” from unscrupulous crooks. The offer comes from the “kind hearted” slingers of "CryptMix", one of a growing number of crypto-ransomware strains menacing Windows users worldwide. …

  1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

    Psychopathological manipulation, more like... seriously, what are thesey guys on?

    I hope that their headstones will be done in Comic Sans.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Why prevaricate?

    No need for the careful "highly unlikely..", "improbable" and other lawyer-friendly phrases - the scamming, thieving, low-life, bastards are hardly likely to identify themselves for the sake of a defamation action, are they?

  3. Pascal Monett Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    Um, that is irrelevant

    Hijacking people's computers, encrypting their data and blackmailing them is still a crime, even if you promise to share the proceeds with organizations that care for children.

    You could claim that all the money will go to search for a cure for cancer, you are still a criminal.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Childcatcher

      Re: Um, that is irrelevant

      I'm reminded of one game where the pirate looks at their targets empty cargo hold and cries "Oh no, my children will go hungry tonight!" Because, that's the first thing they'd spend all the gold on. ;)

    2. Dadmin
      Meh

      Re: Um, that is irrelevant

      Sorry, it's me again. Last post for the week. I promise.

      Here's a nugget of thought for your weekend:

      Q: Why do crims steal money? Maybe to pay rent, but if you're a "real criminal" why would you steal money so you can "rightfully purchase" goods and or services when you can cut out the middleman (that's you Mr. Criminal) and just steal that good or service directly?

      A: Because they are fucking morons. (Thanks, that's what I thought).

      They put a lot of time and effort into making some crime worth their time, but I'm finding that if I read the right book, and apply myself, with half as much effort I'll make the equivalent or more money, and none of the risk of the police coming after me. Hackers even more so; tons of time studying and applying all their wizardly craft, so they can pinch a couple of bitcoins from some stupid grandma or knock out a site for a few minutes or hours. So much effort for a few bitcoins and bragging rights in a online dark alley. HA! I laugh at those fools.

      Anybody can break a window, but few can craft or install one...

      Also, don't change your passwords. The story about the various "hacked" services was a fake. Hope you didn't panic. You should always wait, then make sure, THEN panic. It saves you all sorts of unnecessary arm waving and consternation. I have lovely super-strong passwords on my gmail and yahoo accounts, they don't need changing very often, or at all in this case. Have a weekend!

  4. Sir Sham Cad

    Statement of the Obvious award of the week goes to:

    "we can hardly trust cyber criminals to have a kind and generous side to them"

    The thieving bastard scumfucks preying on the vulnerable and the institutions they rely on have just added another layer of twisted psychological abuse to ensure bigger payouts. Just when you thought they couldn't stoop lower.

    1. SteveK

      Re: Statement of the Obvious award of the week goes to:

      While I do agree with you entirely, I'm afraid that 'statement of the obvious' award for this week has already gone to:

      "This individual was wrapped in plastic bags and his arms were tied behind him and his feet were submerged in concrete," Detective Robert Boyce said in a press conference.

      "Obviously a homicide," he added.

      ..from the BBC

  5. JustNiz

    ...Like I'm really gonna believe charity gets anything from this.

  6. Eddy Ito
    Joke

    They likely have to make the donations to charity. Given the haul to date they're going to need substantial charitable deductions to write off their taxes.

  7. Mark 85

    Well... the only thing missing is that they are Nigerian Princess, orphaned and widowed....

  8. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    "tips to defend against ransomware more generally "

    "Tips" in the plural. Surely there's only one: if you weren't expecting it or don't recognise the source, don't open it.

    1. 3G

      "Tips in the plural. Surely there's only one: if you weren't expecting it or don't recognise the source, don't open it."

      So you think all Randsomware infections are via email then?

    2. DavCrav

      ""Tips" in the plural. Surely there's only one: if you weren't expecting it or don't recognise the source, don't open it."

      We can start with:

      1) Don't open suspicious e-mail attachments

      2) Install NoScript, etc.

      3) Don't run as admin all the time

      4) DON'T RUN AS ADMIN ALL THE TIME.

      5) I actually meant 3). Seriously.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore...

    riding though the glen, Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore and his merry men, he robs from the poor and gives to the rich, silly bitch, silly bitch, silly bitch!

    or something like that.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    *face palm powered by Bruce Lee's one inch punch*

    See title.

  11. Graham Marsden
    Holmes

    "That the proceeds of crime might be turned towards philanthropy...

    "...does not belong the realms of possibility"

    I suggest you ask some of the American Robber Barons of the late 19th century who were quite happy to screw the little people in all sorts of ways that were questionably legal at best, then put the proceeds towards philanthropic projects to salve their consciences.

    1. Mike Lewis

      Re: "That the proceeds of crime might be turned towards philanthropy...

      Bill Gates comes to mind.

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