back to article Electronic Superhighway 2016-1966 – a retro: Texts, ar*se and ASCII rolls

A large photo of a woman's bottom greets you as you walk in. Chat messages are emerging from it. Not to worry, it's only Olaf Breuning's mischievous "Text Butt" (2015). Immediately to your left is Joana Hadjithomas and Khalil Joreige's Geometry of Space (2014), a mixed-media installation comprising stretched oxidised steel, …

  1. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. AMBxx Silver badge

      Re: They could have at least chosen a cute arse to talk out of

      Who let the virgin on here? Go back to your porn.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: They could have at least chosen a cute arse to talk out of

        That's where the Kardashian-driven Internet brought us... and the lack of understanding why that image was actually chosen intentionally - not to appeal the average internet voyeur.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: They could have at least chosen a cute arse to talk out of

          KDD: "Kardashian-Driven Development"

          I foresee new revenue streams in consultancy.

          1. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge
            Coat

            Re: They could have at least chosen a cute arse to talk out of

            In other words

            Lots of people talking crap out of their arse

            {and getting fools to pay for getting the piss taken out of them}

            Coat - Spare Loo roll in the pocket.

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: KDD: "Kardashian-Driven Development"

            Don't miss Continuous KDD DevOps in London! Only four months to go, only half a billion tickets left!

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Paris Hilton

              Re: KDD: "Kardashian-Driven Development"

              KimOps?

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: KDD: "Kardashian-Driven Development"

                Nothing wrong with being a virgin

                1. This post has been deleted by its author

                  1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

                    Re: KDD: "Kardashian-Driven Development"

                    Bah.

                    Sex is fucking overrated, to paraphrase Oscar Wilde.

        2. This post has been deleted by its author

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I don't know much about art...but I don't think this is it.

    I can only hope none of this was subsidised with tax payers money,

    1. TheOtherHobbes

      It's conceptual.

      1. TeeCee Gold badge
        Coat

        It's conceptual.

        Ah yes. The all-purpose art copout. As in:

        "This is a massive heap of worthless shit!"

        "It's conceptual."

        "Aha, right you are then. £5 million wasn't it and will you take a cheque?"

    2. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

      "No sir, I didn't like it"

      -Mr. Horse

    3. DropBear
      Trollface

      ...So where do you want me to hang this here diptych with 5x5 brightly coloured and 5x5 black-and-white trollfaces...?

    4. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

      I don't know much about art

      Obviously.

      but I don't think this is it

      I believe you can amend your first claim to "I know nothing whatsoever about art".

      "I don't think X is art" is pretty much the most basic category error you can make in aesthetics. Once you've committed it, you're starting from a foundation so intrinsically incorrect that you'll only arrive at a useful insight by accident. It's game over.

      Art-ness is not an ontological attribute.

      1. Grunchy Silver badge

        One's sense of "crap" trumps your entire ontological thesis.

        I can easily walk past the Louvre and hand-wavingly dismiss everything as I stroll by, and there's nothing you or your type can do about it!

        Well, you could titter away I suppose. Ohmigosh.

  3. Potemkine Silver badge

    Smell of flowers

    Spring is coming, hormone levels are getting high, aren't they? ^^

    The internet. Before Kim Kardashian. Yes, it really existed

    Proudly on the web since 1993!

    1. John Sager

      Re: Smell of flowers

      Web? 1993? It was all Gopher and downloaded software by e-mail from DEC's ftpmail server. Tim Berners-Lee was still unknown. Usenet was in its prime, and who could forget the AA BBS...

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Smell of flowers

        Yep, downloading clarinet texts from Usenet about what was called "Operation Desert Storm" back then, not "The On-Ramp to Permanent Clusterfuck and Retardation" while watching endlessly looping War Porn on CNN from the corner of my eye on an illegal tuner connected to an Amiga Monitor (also known as a rebranded tunerless Magnavox TV). Good times, in a sad sense.

        No girls, though.

      3. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

        Re: Smell of flowers

        Web? 1993? It was all Gopher and downloaded software by e-mail from DEC's ftpmail server

        Hardly. Frickin' Mosaic was released in 1993, so the web had already gone GUI. (Yes, yes, there still were, and still are, text-mode user agents. I don't mean they were exclusively GUI.)

        I had my first web site up in late 1993. On an internal network and long-gone now, of course, but already you could find lots of folks on Usenet and various listservs talking about building and configuring NCSA httpd.1

        And this wasn't just IT. I actually first heard about Mosaic in a 1993 literature seminar.2 I just browsed through the now marvelously-dated "Geography of Cyberspace" special issue of Works and Days, published in 1994 (and so written largely in 1993), and noted it contains at least a few URLs; already the the academic humanities had picked up the web from the sciences.

        1Which had already surpassed CERN httpd as the server of choice, at least in the circles I inhabited. Later, of course, people would start collecting patches for NCSA httpd, eventually bundling them into a distribution referred to as "Apache". Because it was "patchy".

        2I'd seen people talking about HTTP, but at the time had no particular interest in it. With FTP, NNTP, Archie, Gopher, etc, who needed Yet Another protocol? Sure, HTTP was the transport of choice for HTML, but I was just fine with plain ASCII. Hypertext was for Nelsonites and other visionary types. When I wanted to automatically follow a reference in an electronic document, I wrote a script, the way god intended.

      4. Grunchy Silver badge

        Re: Smell of flowers

        I think everyone has forgotten the AA BBS by now???

  4. WaveyDavey

    ouch

    Even if I was down in London, twelve quid sounds a bit steep for me. I like my art (and museums etc) free - not just for me, but for the poor buggers who cannot afford access. Seems a shame when artistic endeavors are for the middle classes only.

    1. Steve K

      Re: ouch

      Depends on your interests. It's cheaper than a Premier League/Division football game. You can choose to avoid both and save the money.

      One man's fish is another's poisson....

      Steve

    2. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

      Didn't you know?

      It's £20 to sit down in London.

  5. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

      It's about the Internet.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Art is not always what is pleasant to the eye. Nor art is craftsmanship only.

      Art may also be something that challenges your perception of the world around you, and asks you to look at if from a different perspective.

      You still may like it or not...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Yes.

        I hear that argument a lot from people who can't draw or paint or sculpt.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Yes.

          I hear your argument from a lot of people who can't have any original idea.

      2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        "Art may also be something that challenges your perception of the world around you, and asks you to look at if from a different perspective."

        Are you saying David Cameron1 is art and we should all pay £12 each to see him?

        1Insert Corbyn, Osboure, Trump, Putin or whichever dickhead de jour you like here.

        1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

          Are you saying David Cameron is art

          man rhetoric

          and we should all pay £12 each to see him?

          Of course not. That would be silly.

          For that matter, I can't think of a single work which everyone "should" consume. Or, actually, under what rubric we might make a compelling argument that any particular person should consume any particular work. Unless we're using "should" in a very weak sense, e.g. "I think you'd enjoy...".

    3. Doogs
      Happy

      Art is subjective, therefore art is whatever I think is art.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      If it claims to be art, but is quite evidently crap, it's probably a bourgeois tool of oppression.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Under-16s free

    > Tickets £11.95, concessions £6 to £9.50, under-16s free

    I thought showing a naked woman's anything to a child now resulted in a mandatory 5 year prison sentence and life on the sex-offenders register?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Under-16s free

      Braghettone, is it you?

      :-D

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Under-16s free

      "I thought showing a naked woman's anything to a child now resulted in a mandatory 5 year prison sentence and life on the sex-offenders register?"

      You have obviously never visited the National Gallery, the Louvre or the Uffizi.

      But then, neither, equally obviously, has our dear Home Secretary.

    3. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: Under-16s free

      "I thought showing a naked woman's anything to a child now resulted in a mandatory 5 year prison sentence and life on the sex-offenders register?"

      Bit hard to avoid when breastfeeding a baby

      1. phuzz Silver badge
        Joke

        Re: Under-16s free

        "Bit hard to avoid when breastfeeding a baby"

        Probably best to blind your kids at birth then. I suppose you could use a feeding bottle, but those teats on the top, a bit suggestive don't you think?

        Best lock 'em all up just to be safe.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Under-16s free

          Go full burqa from age 0 with integrated self-surveillance gear and GPS tracker.

          Every politician will be happy.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Under-16s free

          Blind them?!

          God no, we should be assigning them state-approved guardians to make sure that the Parents aren't teaching the kids anything seditious... even if such a programme does sound like an obvious breeding ground for paedophiles.

        3. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
          Thumb Up

          Re: Under-16s free

          "Best lock 'em all up just to be safe."

          Stick 'em in a barrel and feed them through the bung hole. When they reach 16 make the decision. Bung the hole or let them out.

          (With apologies to Robert Anson Heinlein)

          1. Public Citizen

            Re: Under-16s free

            Whose character Lazarus Long cribbed the line from Mark Twain.

    4. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

      Re: Under-16s free

      I thought showing a naked woman's anything to a child now resulted in a mandatory 5 year prison sentence and life on the sex-offenders register?

      The woman in the work in question isn't naked. Her buttocks may be exposed, but the visible portions of most of her calves and torso are covered. Problem solved!

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The 1966 Dodge Dart

    The 1966 Dodge Dart was the most reliable car ever made.

    Netscape was never like the Dart.

    Just looking at that screenshot gave me flashbacks to one long night struggling to get Win32s to work on an old i386.

    The horror.

    1. Keven E

      1966

      Yep. My last car was a 66 Dodge Coronet. With the 318cc, it got 18 mpg (highway) back then, so when I saw some newer vehicles stating that 26mpg is *impressive (pre hybrid ubiquity) I just had to laugh (and cry) given proof that there hadn't been all that much change in 40 years...oil economy...industrial yada...

      We've been in the age of *information for so long one would think it would have taken a stronger hold earlier... like it's beginning to do now.

  8. Alistair Dabbs

    But is it art?

    I hear similar things about Pizza Hut: "It's not authentic pizza, etc". I don't really care whether it's authentic or proper or otherwise approved by a committee of categorisation. A spinning LED ring that reads "LOADING..." on a continuous loop for hours might not seem like art but it is funny and means something.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: But is it art?

      It's like those red lights warning of an approaching train in anime where two sweethearts are standing mournfully on either side of the train track separating them, looking at each other.

      It means you have to wait!

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

  9. Crisp

    "the classic film Casablanca is played back as live ASCII art"

    Doesn't live ASCII art put a bit of a strain on the typists wrists?

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: "the classic film Casablanca is played back as live ASCII art"

      I was just wondering if mplayer still supports the ASCII terminal driver for playback.

      I just checked and was pleasantly surprised to find it's still supported via aalib and also libcaca for colour ASCII.

    2. DropBear
      Trollface

      Re: "the classic film Casablanca is played back as live ASCII art"

      Psh, that's simply cold perfection spat out by soulless machines, like a randomly taken photograph. Now, you want ASCII art, you go telnet into towel.blinkenlights.nl...!

      ...incidentally, for those who have heard of Dr. Horrible, you should really traceroute bad.horse, if you haven't done so yet.

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