Terms of Surrender
By reading this comment (hereafter referred to as "$%@&!") you agree happily and with unremitting glee to the Following Terms and Conditions:
1. You, (hereafter referred to as "Sucker") are just SO screwed there aren't even words for it. I KNOW you didn't read this and clicked on the button below like the Pavlovian Turd Pile we have conditioned you to be.
2. Sucker agrees to pay my Mortgage in full every Month on time. You agree to pay for my new Yacht and Bugatti; My Kid's Dental Procedures; Wife's Bust Enhancement and Monthly Maintenance for my, ahem, Mistress.
3. Sucker agrees to these terms with no Limitations or Exclusions whatsoever regardless of Local, State or National Laws. Any disagreements will be resolved solely through the use of Arbitration in the Remote, Inaccessible, Third-World Conflict Zone of our Choice. Otherwise, we reserve the Right to "Interrogate" you Incessantly with a Rubber Hose or our Software, whichever is Worse.
4. These Terms and Conditions imply NO fitness for any given use and BOY will you find out what that means with the "Installation Program".
5. Any other questions or concerns pertaining to the software or the Terms and Conditions are just wrongheaded and delusional. Please consult a Therapist of your choice before bothering us; we're busy people and don't have time for slackheads like you. Sucker.