back to article Danish Sith Lord fined in Galactic Republic rumpus

The Vulture Central Star Wars Saddometer maxxed out at 10 today at the news that Danish police rushed to a house in Jutland over the weekend to break up a heated argument between two teenage lads regarding the exact strength of the Galactic Republic. According to The Local, cops rolled up at the premises in Fredericia at 5. …

  1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

    Cue cantina scene music...

    1. Kane
      Alien

      Damn you!

      Now I can't get it out of my head!

      1. Dr. Mouse

        Re: Damn you!

        I've lost!

      2. Steven Roper

        Re: Damn you!

        Doo, dee, doo, dee, doo-dee-doodelee, doodelee doo, doodeedoloo, doo.

        Doo, dee, doo, dee, doo-dee-doodelee, doo-doo, doodee dee-doo doo doo.

        Doo, dee, doo, dee, doo-dee-doodelee, doo doo, diddlee doo doo.

        Doo, diddloo, diddloo, diddloo, didlee doo doo-dee doo!

    2. Trigonoceps occipitalis

      Yes, but which one gobbed off first?

  2. RedCardinal

    And in what way was this any different from two drunk people arguing/fighting over...anything (let's say football)? Oh but wait, Star Wars. Hilarity ensues...

    Using "saddometer" is also a little bit ironic coming from The Register, who's main audience is probably considered by the general pubic to be disctinctly nerdish. Pot calling kettle black there I think :P

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Indeed, seems a perfectly sensible thing to be arguing to me on the grand scale of shit people argue about scale.

      1. Danny 14

        but football is real not fictional and spurs ARE shite.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Still, if you must make a lot of fuss over a bag of wind then try politics.

    2. Kane
      Joke

      "Using "saddometer" is also a little bit ironic coming from The Register, who's main audience is probably considered by the general pubic to be disctinctly nerdish. Pot calling kettle black there I think :P"

      Biting the hand that feeds IT

      It's right there, in the title!

    3. DavCrav

      "And in what way was this any different from two drunk people arguing/fighting over...anything (let's say football)? Oh but wait, Star Wars. Hilarity ensues..."

      Because having an argument about the strength of a fictional empire is bizarre: there is not even a subjective answer. It's like asking which of two characters in a novel you think is taller, when their heights are not mentioned in the book: even in theory there is no answer.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        It's like when people were debating who would win in a race between Mo Farah and Usain Bolt, without specifying any kind of distance. One is a sprinter, one is a distance runner, it was a ludicrous debate that raged on for weeks after London 2012.

        1. Captain DaFt

          People are funny that way

          The more inconsequential and minor the item being debated, the louder and more vehement the argument.

          More blood is been shed over details than major problems, often to the detriment of solving the real problems.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Devil

            Re: People are funny that way

            See Religion

        2. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
          Happy

          It's like when people were debating who would win in a race between Mo Farah and Usain Bolt, without specifying any kind of distance. One is a sprinter, one is a distance runner, it was a ludicrous debate that raged on for weeks after London 2012.

          That gives me an idea for an argument interesting discussion.

          What is the exact distance required, such that a race between Usain Bolt and Mo Farrah would result in a dead heat?

          Although the more important question is which is worse? Usain Bolt won an Olympic gold after a breakfast of McDonalds chicken nuggets. But Farrah willingly consumes Quorn mince...

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Quorn vs McDonalds

            So meat-free all the way then?

            (Also I don't think that there is such a distance because Bolt will wear himself out and reach a standstill while still ahead of Farah)

    4. Arctic fox
      Trollface

      @RedCardinal "..... probably considered by the general pubic to be disctinctly nerdish...."

      I dare not speculate about what the average IT-pro thinks about the shiney-buying general public!

  3. Paul Woodhouse

    I'm sure I remember seeing a vid somewhere of some mega geeky role-players where one had shot the other with a crossbow and tried casting +speed 20 on himself before running away from the cops or something dumb like that, must have been a sketch show...

    1. Chez

      Reno 911. There were a couple of sketches involving that group.

  4. chivo243 Silver badge

    unspecified techniques

    Ahhh, thumbscrews, bamboo shoots under the toenails, we won't go into car batteries and such...;-}

    1. Ken 16 Silver badge

      Re: unspecified techniques

      Danish Police? Maybe asking politely but repeatedly...

      1. ShadowDragon8685

        Re: unspecified techniques

        That or they threatened drag him to the local drunk tank, and cautioned him that the dinner being served was a surströmming-and-hákarl smörgåstårta.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Danish Police? Maybe asking politely but repeatedly...

        ... but only after turning out all or most of the lights, if my tv viewing is any guide...

      3. chivo243 Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: unspecified techniques

        Oh, like bobbies, when you steal a purse and run away, they say "Stop!" or I'll say "Stop!" again because I don't have gun....

        1. Natalie Gritpants

          Re: unspecified techniques

          You might think that shooting someone suspected of stealing a purse i good but I don't. I'd rather the bobby talk to the victim and any other witnesses to get a description of the perp and figure out which of the well know neredowells it was, at which point they can be arrested in their local boozer. Much more civilized.

          1. Michael Hoffmann Silver badge
            Coat

            Re: unspecified techniques

            "Much more civilized."

            Using a lightsaber would also be more civilised. Obi-Wan said so.

            1. Bernard M. Orwell

              Re: unspecified techniques

              But we all know that Obi Wan was a liar.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: unspecified techniques

          What? You implying shooting someone in the back ISN'T acceptable? Get out of here!

        3. LucreLout

          Re: unspecified techniques

          Oh, like bobbies, when you steal a purse and run away, they say "Stop!" or I'll say "Stop!" again because I don't have gun....

          While I can appreciate your sentiments, I'm not wholly sure I want our police routinely armed. Some of them aren't very bright and can be known to be intemperate.

          I'm not having a general pop at the boys n girls in blue; my best mate is one of them, and he'd give the same reason I'm about to. The interview and selection process undertaken to recruit the current intake will have taken no account of their suitability to maintain a firearm, because it was never envisaged as a requirement of the job.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: unspecified techniques

            The interview and selection process undertaken to recruit the current intake will have taken no account of their suitability to maintain a firearm, because it was never envisaged as a requirement of the job.

            Apparently they do in the US - and look how successful that has been (unless I suppose your metric is based on the number of people shot in the back)

    2. Dr. Mouse

      Re: unspecified techniques

      Here was I thinking "The Force can have a strong influence on the weak-minded."

    3. stucs201

      Re: unspecified techniques

      Waved hand and said "I do need to see your identification"?

      1. Graham Marsden

        Re: unspecified techniques

        I presumed that was code for "Asked his mum" (presumably he still lives with her...)

  5. Efros

    Disturbance in the Force

    "We aren't the numpties you are looking for"

    "Oh yes you are, Book him Svenn..o!"

  6. A K Stiles
    Coat

    Besides

    Which point in time are they considering? Obviously the Republic had considerable power before the rise of the Empire, Whilst it had much less during the original trilogy, then ramping up again somewhat between VI and VII.

    Details are all important in such things!

    1. Chris Hunt
      Headmaster

      Re: Besides

      That sounds like the Ann Elk (Miss) Theory of Republic Strength.

  7. Blofeld's Cat
    Angel

    Er...

    Those readers wondering just how bad disagreements over works of fiction can get are directed to the 2012 case of the Long Island man Middle East

    FTFY

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: Er...

      Good one.

    2. Dr. Mouse

      Re: Er...

      Or Northern Ireland?

    3. Fraggle850

      Re: Er...

      Good call! I'd raise a pint but gather that might be frowned upon amongst some of the more ardent fiction readers to whom you refer.

      1. Mark 85

        Re: Er...

        You might as well raise the pint anyway since you've already insulted the sky fairy by calling it "fiction".

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    that kind of sh!t goes down in Fredericia

    I've got in-laws there. It's not the craziest thing I've heard happen in Fredericia.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: that kind of sh!t goes down in Fredericia

      Indeed, there is an oversupply of Brians and Johnnys there, ikke osse?

  9. rh587

    The Saddometer sounds like a round on HIGNFY - now we come to the Saddometer of News!

  10. ukgnome

    sloppy reporting!

    who won? What is the size of the galactic republic, when does it get added to the units of measurement.

    I DEMAND TO KNOW!

  11. Simon Harris
    1. Efros

      Re: Not just the Danes...

      Should have been a no contest, the Daleks would kick any stormtroopers arse... well they would if they had feet.

      1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

        Re: Not just the Danes...

        Of course Daleks are better than stormtroopers. They sometimes shoot at things and actually hit them...

        1. MrDamage Silver badge

          Re: Not just the Danes...

          But the Doctor can just use his magic wand sonic screwdriver to reverse the polarity of a thingymabob to plurdlewurdle the Daleks navicomp doohickeys, and then their aim will be the same as the average stormtroopers.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Any Republic where Jar-Jar Binks can become a Senator...

    Is just not long for this world!

    1. Dr. Mouse

      Re: Any Republic where Jar-Jar Binks can become a Senator...

      Unless he was really a Sith...

      1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

        Re: Any Republic where Jar-Jar Binks can become a Senator...

        Me sah Darth-Darth Binks! Me sah, turned to the dark side because me was sooo angry about the nasty peoples who was rude to me. Me sah used me's anger. Now die patronising Jedi scum!

  13. frank ly

    I'm surprised/disappointed

    I'd have thought that a Vulture brand saddometer would go up to 11.

  14. 2460 Something

    At least their disagreement was vocal rather than physical. Amusing anecdote after the more belligerent one had sobered up in the morning and been let out of the slammer.

  15. Bernard M. Orwell

    Time for a move?

    Well, if this is the sort of thing that Danish police get called out for and it makes the news in the UK, I think I might well consider moving to Denmark!

  16. earl grey
    Pint

    props for the picture

    have a cold one

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