Major Hollywood studio eyes Paint Drying sequel

They could do a horror "The walls have dried"

M Night Shylam directing

The twist is that the paint was already dry. In 1666.

Unlikely to meet approval on Parliament Hill

There won't be any whitewash at the White House.

Robbie Coltrane

[Paint] Runs on the Run

The [Cellulose] Dope Must Dry

[Eggshell] Cracker

(I'm sorry, I have a cold and didn't get much sleep last night. I had strange dreams too, in which Robbie Coltrane did not feature. I don't where the above line of thought has come from)

Primer

The second film from the writer/director/actor/etc of Primer, Shane Carruth, was Upstream Colour.

Unlike my suggestions above, I'm not making this up:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2084989/

NO! I was running through puns, but for the sake of forum entries NO!

Of course there will be

'Paint Drying - the Director's cut', 3 hours of extra footage with acerbic commentary from the director, cameraman and the paint roller artist.

Paint drying 4: Dry Harder

I still think they should have subtitled number 1 : Dry Hard With A Vengeance.

Or - Porn Free or Dry HARD

Dry Hard 2: Clone Walls

Dry Hard 3: The revenge of the poorly prepared surface.

Dry Hard 4: A New Coat

Dry Hard 5: The Empire changes it's mind about the colour

Dry Hard 6: The return of the Contractor

Basil Brush

is unfortunately unavailable; apparently the Yewtree chaps are interested in having a chat with him about his post-television career teaching English to orphaned kittens in Thailand...

Boom, and indeed, boom.

Apparently, Barbara Broccoli is thinking of doing her own version, Licence to Spill, to be followed by Tomorrow never Dyes, following the adventures of Bond, English Garden Wall Bond... an ageing bricklayer and decorator.

The Pink Painter

The Return of the Pink Painter

The Pink Painter Strikes Again

Revenge of the Pink Painter

Trail of the Pink Painter

Son of the Pink Painter

will there be

...lensflare?

If I were making it

I'd throw in single frames of child friendly images, then start a rumor that there is hard-core pornography in there so that the ratings board has to watch it very intently to make sure there isn't. Then I'd release a second one with such filth in it, but make sure no one knows about it until its gets its kid-friendly rating, at which point kick the "Think of the Children" brigade into high gear.

Maybe follow that up with a sequel of a camp fire burning and mix in some images of extreme violence into the flames. Mix it just enough that watching it normally wouldn't produce the images and only staring intently at it would do so (probably flicker the pixels so that the image is split into many fragments spread across frames so that the image is assembled in the viewer's brain by retinal after-images).

Yes, I have a twisted and depraved mind, but I only use it for good, like torturing the people that believe that someone getting disemboweled is OK to show to children, but breasts are reserved for adults and even a glimpse of genitals makes it pornography...