The Bong Diaries, Pt.94: Bowie, Martha... and where's my knighthood?

Friday 15th January 2016 18:59 GMT Stevie

Bah!

A Stylophone is a synthesizer in the same way I am a world class footballer.

0 1 Reply
Friday 15th January 2016 19:02 GMT Anonymous Coward

" and is currently designing MINSOCK (the Ministry of Socks) for Britain's next Prime Minister, Jeremy Corbyn."

Corbyn? What sort of thinkfluencer is he? Surely Bong is actually working on getting Lord Mandelson into No. 10 at the head of a revitalised Labour Party with such forward thinkers as Tessa Supercasino Jowell (the new digital economy) at the Treasury, Simon Twitter Danczuk at the new media FO, and Jess Phillips at the third great department of State, Culture, Media and Sport.

6 0 Reply
Friday 15th January 2016 20:23 GMT TheOtherHobbes

doteveryone

That is... remarkable.

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1. Friday 15th January 2016 20:57 GMT BurnT'offering
  
  Words from Doteveryone - rendered as modern poetry
  
  Digital Women group leading digital Britain
  
  Services revolution rules - for Martha Lane Fox first ... everyone
  
  More network tablet!
  
  Prototype fair women, NHS colleagues!
  
  Get digital treasure, technology leadership pioneer!
  
  Brilliant Doteveryone age
  
  Leaders making digital tech recommendations
  
  Leading, making, reimagining
  
  Martha Lane Fox UK - unleashing potential chest prototyping
  
  Martha Lane Fox - inspiration, addressing Home leaders
  
  Martha Lane Fox - inspiration woman
  
  Martha Lane Fox
  
  Martha Lane Fox
  
  Martha Lane Fox
  
  6 0 Reply
Friday 15th January 2016 20:54 GMT chivo243

Shirley

you mean Gary Numan?

Here in my car

I feel safest of all

I can lock all my doors

It's the only way to live

In cars

Here in my car

I can only receive

I can listen to you

It keeps me stable for days

In cars

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/garynuman/cars.html

Or have I missed something?

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1. Friday 15th January 2016 20:59 GMT BurnT'offering
  
  Re: Shirley
  
  I think you'll find Gary Numan was actually written by Spandau Duran, the singer from Depeche Division
  
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  1. Friday 15th January 2016 22:34 GMT Roq D. Kasba
    
    Re: Shirley
    
    The thing you missed is the ¡Bong! byline ;-). Look at some if his previous posts, it just try deciphering his bio at the bottom...
    
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    1. Saturday 16th January 2016 00:26 GMT Geoffrey W
      
      Re: Shirley
      
      RE: "The thing you missed is the ¡Bong! byline "
      
      So what you are saying is everything in the article is bollocks? Got it!
      
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2. Saturday 16th January 2016 00:33 GMT allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
  
  Re: Shirley
  
  "Or have I missed something?"
  
  The joke, perchance?
  
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3. Saturday 16th January 2016 06:18 GMT Frumious Bandersnatch
  
  Re: Shirley
  
  you mean Gary Numan?
  
  And "My Life in the Bush of Ghosts" was Eno and David Byrne.
  
  So confusing. At least the pic of Bowie as Tesla (in The Prestige) is right.
  
  0 1 Reply
  1. Saturday 16th January 2016 16:51 GMT TeeCee
    
    Re: Shirley
    
    Hear that noise above?
    
    That's the joke screaming by at Mach 7, 120,000 feet above your head.
    
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4. Friday 22nd January 2016 10:14 GMT Anonymous Coward
  
  Re: Shirley
  
  No, it was definitely Randy Numan who wrote the theme for Pixar's "Cars".
  
  He also wrote the classic song from Toy Story, "You've Got are Friends Electric in Me".
  
  1 0 Reply
Sunday 17th January 2016 15:48 GMT Snowy

If...

your going to say "Bowie's avant garde phase helped create Krautrock. Here he is teaching Kraftwerk how to use a synthesizer" it should be a picture of him and not one of Rolf Harris.

I would use the corrections button but it only works if you have an email program installed.

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1. Sunday 17th January 2016 17:13 GMT Anonymous Coward
  
  Re: If...it only works if you have an email program installed.
  
  Or gmail. Works fine in Chrome. I haven't tested it with Outlook.com, though.
  
  1 0 Reply
2. Sunday 17th January 2016 18:20 GMT BurnT'offering
  
  Re:it should be a picture of him and not one of Rolf Harris.
  
  Why? Rolf Harris was the man who successfully compressed the Sousaphone into the new smaller form factor - or at least that's what he claimed he was doing
  
  1 0 Reply
3. Friday 22nd January 2016 15:02 GMT Anonymous Blowhard
  
  Re: If...
  
  "I would use the corrections button"
  
  You'll be glad you didn't when the penny finally drops...
  
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Monday 18th January 2016 08:59 GMT Unep Eurobats

That pic

is Bowie as Tesla in the Prestige. Definitely worth catching.

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Wednesday 20th January 2016 18:38 GMT Michael Wojcik

Ah, satire. So subtle, so elusive.

I realize that some folks are reading their first ¡Bong! piece. And that satire is heavily culturally inflected. And that we all live under the grim ubiety of Poe's Law. And that many people are too damn lazy to pause for a critical moment when they read something suspect online.

And yet. And fucking yet. Can you actually read this entire piece and not be at least haunted by the suspicion that it is not entirely sincere? That the "errors" some insist on pointing out are, in fact, deliberate?

Honestly, I wonder how some folks manage to get through life without falling prey to every confidence artist and idle trickster who comes along.

1 0 Reply