back to article Irish electricity company threatens to cut off graveyard

Those readers who believe that death will finally deliver them from the attentions of utility companies are advised not to pop their clogs in Ireland, or at least not in County Kerry. That's the lesson to be learned from a letter allegedly dispatched by Electric Ireland to "The Occupant, Killiney Graveyard, Castlegregory, …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    That'll be...

    Dr Frankenstein.

    1. g e
      Coat

      I think not, dear Igor...

      In this case they'll be billing a 'higher power' ...

      Power. Geddit? Coat got.

    2. BillG
      Joke

      Re: That'll be...

      That'll be... Dr Frankenstein.

      That's FRONK-en-steen.

  2. wolfetone Silver badge

    We buried my Dad in County Mayo two years ago, and we've had no such problems. That's just down to him digging for coal to keep himself warm.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Mine found himself in a place where the central heating is permanently turned up to the max...

  3. Andy Non Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Not only in Ireland

    Here in France it made national TV news when a letter with a fine was sent by the authorities addressed to someone's grave in a cemetery. Apparently being dead wasn't an acceptable excuse for not returning his income / tax declaration form on time. Some mindless bureaucrat had actually found out the guy had died and where he was buried to send him the letter.

    1. Alien8n

      Re: Not only in Ireland

      I'm still getting letters demanding money from Npower and it's been over 8 months since my dad passed away. This is despite them telling me that the bill would be cancelled as he only left enough to pay for the funeral...

      1. Andrew Taylor 1

        Re: Not only in Ireland

        Typical NPower, took 4months to get a refund on an overpaid direct debit for my mum. The management team would have to improve 100% to be classified as scum

        1. Sir Alien

          Re: Not only in Ireland

          This is one of the reasons I never do direct debit with any energy company. They are fast to claim the money and slow to return. We pay it manually each time and just accept the small penalty (or punishment) for not doing DD. On more than one occasion we found they would have over charged us by well over £75 over the amount due and we corrected them each time.

          Never trust any unpredictable amount on direct debit.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Not only in Ireland

            Just tell 'em anything outstanding after 30 days will be treated as a loan, with interest calculated at the same rate as - say - Wonga would use (Include screenshot of Wonga interest calculator).

            1. veti Silver badge

              Re: Not only in Ireland

              Wonga is the wrong comparator.

              Your electricity company probably gives you a "prompt payment discount" if you pay your bill within the due date. So the interest rate they charge is calculable as (prompt payment discount %) per (period between invoice date and due date).

              Charge them interest back at the same rate. That's fair.

            2. Danny 14

              Re: Not only in Ireland

              As a loan wouldnt work but after a teasonable amount of correspondence, and proof they said they will fix something, you can set out reasonable admin costs and bill them.

            3. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Not only in Ireland

              "Just tell 'em anything outstanding after 30 days will be treated as a loan"

              No experience of Npower but any company that is fast and loose with its invoicing will take notice if you threaten to invoice them.

          2. Fatman
            Joke

            Re: Not only in Ireland

            <quote>Never trust any unpredictable amount on direct debit.</quote>

            FTFY!!!

        2. Jason 24

          Re: Not only in Ireland

          "Typical NPower, took 4months to get a refund on an overpaid direct debit"

          Take it up with your bank, not npower, if the amount is incorrect then they'll refund the money immediately and then you can take it up with npower. I've done this on numerous occasions.

          From the guarantee;

          If an error is made in the payment of your Direct Debit, by the organisation or your bank or building society, you are entitled to a full and immediate refund of the amount paid from your bank or building society

          If you receive a refund you are not entitled to, you must pay it back when the organisation asks you to

    2. Dan 55 Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: Not only in Ireland

      Luxury. In Spain the electric companies are judge, jury and executioner when deciding if meters have been fiddled with. Over the past year or so there's been a load of people paying 1,500€ and above in fines, but there's no way they can prove anything because the company walk off with the meter and then start charging your bank account for the amount that they think you have used, which apparently is worked out at 6 hours a day every day for a year using the maximum power that your supply can give.

      The big suppliers are not taking deregulation very well.

      1. Sir Alien

        Re: Not only in Ireland

        The day that happens to us is the day we use solar because at €1500 solar panels will quickly pay for themselves in no time. Energy companies unless they can ban self powering houses need to play it safe in that if they become to expensive, people will search for alternatives.

        Granted the UK is not the best place for solar power efficiency considering the weather nearer the autumn and winter months but even so they can produce quite a bit of usable power if you can store it.

        Right now, with us correcting our energy company each month, we find it sort of works out cost effective(ish) to just continue paying for the power and using it carefully.

        For Spain, just use solar since you always have good sun even in winter (except for the nut-job that thinks she owns the sun)

        - S.A

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Not only in Ireland

          And here in South Australia, the solar power take-up is so large that the grid are trying to get though a surcharge on every house with solar panels because 'they are costing the grid more in servicing them' (i.e. They aren't giving us enough money, even though they are also supplying us with free power - yes, a lot of the retailers here won't give you a cent for any solar-generated power fed back into the grid).

          1. veti Silver badge

            Re: Not only in Ireland

            If a retailer in South Australia isn't giving you at least 5.3c/kWh for solar energy you feed back into the grid, they're breaking the law.

            Reference.

      2. Chris G

        Re: Not only in Ireland

        You do know that in Spain, if someone takes money from your account and you disagree with it, within two weeks you can go to the bank and have the payment returned to your account and the company blocked.

        I paid my wife's car insurance by bank transfer a couple of years ago, this year at renewal time because they had my account details, although they had no DD permission they took the renewal fee from my account.

        I think the clerk in my local bank thought I was going to have a ragin' fit, he was very helpful, explained everything to me and sorted it on the spot.

        With regard to other Utilities; a farmer friend of mine in the early '90s was getting fed up with arguing with the water company who were insisting that his farmhouse in the middle of his farm should be billed seperately as domestic and not agricultural. This, in spite of all and sundry working on the farm would use the kitchen and even shower there on occasion.

        He started to collect all the rainwater from roofs and even parts of the yards, the water company then took him to court for stealing water from their catchment area.

        Happily they lost after opposing my mate who had the Farmers Union behind him as well as an EU commisioner.

        1. Dan 55 Silver badge
          Devil

          Re: Not only in Ireland

          Yes, I do know you can return direct debits. They cut you off though, and you ain't getting an electricity supply again until it gets paid.

      3. Gerhard Mack

        Re: Not only in Ireland

        @Dan 55 That's because most people in Spain have fiddled with the meter since that's pretty much the only way tog get a usable power feed so 80% of the time they will be correct.

        I think the only place I lived in Spain with a decent power feed was when I was staying in Torrelodones in a home built by someone who knew General Franco ..

    3. Captain DaFt

      Re: Not only in Ireland

      "Some mindless bureaucrat had actually found out the guy had died and where he was buried to send him the letter."

      Not totally mindless then. The American IRS wanted to dig up a body for an interview:

      http://www.deseretnews.com/article/115582/IRS-MAY-SEEK-ORDER-TO-EXHUME-MAN-WHO-DIED-OWING-156000.html?pg=all

    4. hi_robb

      Re: Not only in Ireland

      Yep,

      I remember years ago when a light aircraft crashed in to an Irish cemetery!

      The rescue team were still discovering bodies months later...

  4. Sir Barry
    Coat

    I hope there isn't any joking around as this is a grave situation.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Coat

      I hope there isn't any joking around as this is a grave situation

      No chance of that, this article was dead serious.

      1. Lee D Silver badge

        It's a-pall-ing behavior to joke about such things.

        1. Yugguy

          But someone needs to be coffin up the money.

          1. AndrueC Silver badge
            Joke

            Some of these puns are absolutely dead-ful.

            1. Lee D Silver badge

              "Some of these puns are absolutely dead-ful."

              Of corpse they are.

              1. Martin Budden Silver badge
                Coat

                You can't blame the 'leccy company, they are operating with a skeleton crew these days...

                1. AndrueC Silver badge
                  Joke

                  they are operating with a skeleton crew

                  Does that mean they have no body to work with?

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Angel

    "Now that electricity bill money...

    Was just resting in my account!"

  6. ukgnome

    Graveyard receives leccy bill

    Shocking!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Coat

      Re: Graveyard receives leccy bill

      ΩMG! What's shocking about trying to charge the current occupant?

      1. VinceH
        Pint

        Re: Graveyard receives leccy bill

        @Joefish

        I see what you did there. :)

      2. pabc

        Re: Graveyard receives leccy bill

        4 puns in one comment. We have a winner

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Graveyard receives leccy bill

          It's like I'm really reading Mad Magazine.

        2. Public Citizen

          Re: Graveyard receives leccy bill

          Actually I think there are at least five.

          Can a single word with a substituted character count twice?

          Some of these puns ~are~ absolutely revolting.

  7. hplasm
    Black Helicopters

    No Mistake-

    The graveyard is a dead-letter drop.

  8. joeW

    re "a matter for a living representative of the Catholic church"

    I'm fairly sure that's a C of I church, not an RC one.

    1. My Alter Ego
      Happy

      Re: re "a matter for a living representative of the Catholic church"

      You've got to be Irish. As far as I can tell we're pretty much the only people that can look at people, names & architecture and tell their religion!

      1. Teiwaz

        Re: re "a matter for a living representative of the Catholic church"

        > "You've got to be Irish. As far as I can tell we're pretty much the only people that can look at people, names & architecture and tell their religion!"

        'guess the religion of the next person to come in the door'

        Is/was quite a popular pub game in the North of Ireland.

    2. Alan Bourke

      Re: re "a matter for a living representative of the Catholic church"

      Yes C of I tend to not have pointed spires.

      1. Mage Silver badge

        Re: re "a matter for a living representative of the Catholic church"

        The older C of I churches where actually "Roman". Some Norman and other pre-Henry VIII churches.

  9. Graham Marsden
    Coat

    Shouldn't it have been addressed...

    ... "Tomb it may concern..."

  10. Chris King

    BT don't even need a body...

    They sent out phone bills to a whole bunch of phone boxes on at least one occasion.

  11. The entire Radio 1 playlist commitee
    Happy

    I've been to Castlegregory

    Its a fabulous part of the country. Do go if you ever get the chance.

    1. Montreal Sean

      Re: I've been to Castlegregory

      Just make sure you purchase a return ticket.

    2. s5PGmU
      Joke

      Re: I've been to Castlegregory

      If you go to the graveyard, pay your respects this occupant's electricity bill.

  12. FlossyThePig
    Coat

    Is this the ultimate Kerryman joke?

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Devil

    But - Who opened the letter?

    WooOOooOOoo!

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This letter is in relation to a gas supply.

    MPRN is a Metering Point Registration Number.

    If it was an electricity supply, the letter would quote an MPAN (Metering Point Adminstration Number). Yet the wording of the le

    1. Carrawaystick

      mprn is for electricity, gprn is for gas

      and there's something else for the clusterfeic that is irish water

    2. Cian Duffy

      MPRNs are electrical meters, GPRNs for gas.

      The letter also mentions "Electrical".

  15. Darryl

    I think the big question is, which occupant? I'd imagine there are hundreds of occupants.

    1. Martin Budden Silver badge

      It's not occupied, it's possessed.

  16. zaax

    Grave yards and church (with graves) yards in the UK are normally owned by the parish, and church owned by 'The Chuch'.

  17. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Trollface

    The Statement of Randolph Carter

    "Shall I say that the voice was deep; hollow; gelatinous; remote; unearthly; inhuman; disembodied? What shall I say? It was the end of my experience, and is the end of my story. I heard it, and knew no more. Heard it as I sat petrified in that unknown cemetery in the hollow, amidst the crumbling stones and the falling tombs, the rank vegetation and the miasmal vapours. Heard it well up from the innermost depths of that damnable open sepulchre as I watched amorphous, necrophagous shadows dance beneath an accursed waning moon. And this is what it said:

    “YOU FOOL, YOU ARE NOW DISCONNECTED!”

    1. Yugguy

      Re: The Statement of Randolph Carter

      There are not enough upvotes in the world for this.

    2. Stevie

      Re: The Statement of Randolph Carter

      Wot Yugguy said.

  18. AndrueC Silver badge
    Joke

    At least they are making no bones about it.

    1. Montreal Sean

      re: At least they are making no bones about it.

      Well, the occupant is taking it lying down...

  19. Archie Woodnuts

    At least it wasn't the NORWEB Federation.

  20. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

    What Electric Ireland need

    Is a good stiff talking to

  21. Chris G

    I recommend

    Applying maximum resistance to this disconnection

    1. Shadow Systems

      Re: I recommend

      Ohm My Gawd! That comment was revolting! You should be amply punished for such a charge!

      =-)p

  22. Soap Distant

    Letter conventions...

    It has been many years since Soap learned how to correctly write a letter, but as I recall it if you address the recipient "Dear Sir/Madam" then don't you sign off, "Yours faithfully"? Or is that not a thing anymore?

    /pedant

    /SD

    1. 's water music

      Re: Letter conventions...

      It has been many years since Soap learned how to correctly write a letter, as I recall it if you address the recipient "Dear Sir/Madam" then don't you sign off, "Yours faithfully"? Or is that not a thing anymore?

      Too many, or perhaps you mistyped. The convention is to use Yours faithfully with an impersonal address and Yours sincerely with a personal address but you are probably correct that it isn't much of a thing any more for most people.

  23. Stoneshop
    Boffin

    Hooked up wrong

    Instead of one of the occupants spinning in its grave and generating power, they've connected the coils backwards which are now adding rpms to the body.

  24. Woza
    Coat

    Voom

    Someone needs to be paid for those 4,000 volts

  25. Anonymous John

    Which reminds me of this.

    Reporter Dan Grimmer is puzzled by the letter from the City Council's licensing department which was sent to the closed public convenience at Wall Lane, Magdalen Street, about a licensing application. Picture: Denise Bradley

    http://www.eadt.co.uk/news/politics_2_480/council_s_letter_to_public_toilet_1_2872822

  26. Martin Maloney
    Trollface

    This is an IT site

    Puns should be encrypted.

    (Take that, you amateurs!)

  27. Winkypop Silver badge
    Devil

    Knock knock knock

    We know you are in there.

    You're not going anywhere!

  28. Andrew Beardsley

    Who opened the letter?

    Who opened the letter?

    Last I heard it was illegal to open post addressed to somebody else. So presumably whoever opened the letter is accepting responsibility?

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: Who opened the letter?

      A medium opened the letter, thereby acting as a legally-exempt proxy for a graveyard occupant. That's how I'd explain it in court, anyway.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Who opened the letter?

        Mediumative services are properly taxed aren't they? Where is the receipt?

      2. Alien8n

        Re: Who opened the letter?

        If it was the US it would have to be opened by an Extra Large.

      3. Martin Budden Silver badge

        Re: Who opened the letter?

        mumble mumble mumble small medium at large.

        An old joke, and if only I could remember it a good one.

        1. Alien8n
          Joke

          Re: Who opened the letter?

          Probably something along the lines of:

          The local post office was robbed by a psychic dwarf yesterday. Police are warning the public to be on the lookout for a small medium at large.

  29. Mike Cresswell

    They should talk to British Gas

    They should talk to British Gas who claim the ability to contact the dead.

    Some six months after my father died I received a letter addressed to him from British Gas. In it they said that as he had failed to keep a pre arranged appointment to inspect the gas meter they were now going to seek a warrant to force entry to his house.

    I phoned British Gas and asked how and when they had contacted my father. The person said by phone and gave a date about a month previously. "Really?" I replied. "Could you tell me what number you called him on?". At this point the person asked why I wanted to know so I answered "Because he died six months ago, I never got to say good bye and it would be really nice to talk to him one last time".

    Cue stunned silence followed by desperate search for excuses.

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Don't go towards the light!!

    Maybe they wanted someone there to come back.....

  31. Colin Ritchie
    Windows

    Who ya gonna charge?

    GHOSTBUSTERS!

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