So my thoughts about a dildo bomb aren't so far-fetched. They must've threatened a complete strip search to make her surrender like this (as that would be the only way you'd find it).
Drug-smuggling granny's vagina holds Kinder surprise
A 73-year-old Spanish woman has avoided jail for a failed attempt to smuggle drugs to her incarcerated son by hiding them inside a Kinder egg plastic podule, wrapping that in a condom and inserting the contraband into her vagina. The septuagenarian mule visited Fontcalent prison in Alicante on 1 July 2013, with the intention …
COMMENTS
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Friday 13th November 2015 20:04 GMT Old Handle
Choking Risk
Except they're not. The ban is on any food item with an inedible part embedded in it (unless it's functional like a popsicle stick). Obviously that could be dangerous in some cases, but no one is going to try and eat a Kinder Egg whole so it really isn't a problem. I understand a few children have choked on the toys after taking them out of the egg, which is tragic, but don't make them any more dangerous than other small toys.
Regardless you can buy them here fairly easily. I don't know how they're smuggled in... and after reading this story I'm not sure I want to.
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Thursday 12th November 2015 19:07 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: What were the odds those 7 words could be combined
Well, that'd work in Blighty but not in the US of A, so...
...so tough shit, perhaps?
You have failed in your duty as an educator, a purveyor of the Queen's English* to the fat drawling colonials.
* It is possible that she doesn't use quite the same "reach" of language as the Reg, but that's merely because of her regal status. Behind closed doors, I do hope when inducting Corbyn as a Privy Councillor she took the opportunity to remind him that he's an unalloyed c*nt.
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Thursday 12th November 2015 18:30 GMT Cynic_999
Re: Something smells fishy
"
Ask your missus (or any female co-worker!!!) to shove one up their special place and walk around. See if her gait is somewhat pronounced!!!
"
Why should it be? ISTM that the container is no bigger than the size a tampon swells to. In fact, had she attached a string and wad of cotton-wool to it, it is unlikely that anyone conducting a strip-search would have looked any ... um ... deeper, and she would have got away with it.
The ceramic egg-shaped things that some women insert and walk around with to strengthen their pelvic floor following childbirth are also bigger and heavier than a Kinder surprise.
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This post has been deleted by its author
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Friday 13th November 2015 10:49 GMT Anonymous Coward
The Netherlands? According to Wikipedia, the parent company (Ferrero, of Nutella fame and Ferrero Rocher infamy) is Italian, but the product was originally developed by their German division, which explains why I keep thinking of it as German. (That, and the fact they plaster Aryan brats over their products).
Not sure where the Netherlands comes into it, though?
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Thursday 12th November 2015 17:11 GMT x 7
amusing scene once at the Islamic computer company near Blackburn and Burnley.....
there was a certain fit brunette lady who worked as a liaison between marketing and repairs. One hot sticky summer day as she walked up the steps to the mezzanine where the service centre managers lived she managed to lose / eject both her metal love eggs......which bounced and clanged down the metal steps. She simply picked them up as if nothing had happened and carried on talking.........
Last heard of working in a sex dungeon in Blackpool
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Friday 13th November 2015 20:23 GMT Anonymous Coward
Are you sure that she wasn't actually a hen in disguise? There's a lot of prejudice against avians in the workplace and even today many will try to cover it up.
It's often very difficult to maintain the work-life-need-to-lay-an-egg balance, and sometimes when an egg's got to come out, it's got to come out.
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Friday 13th November 2015 00:07 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: hmm
>...unless it was perhaps to help the relative inmate pay of a debt so as not to be raped/beaten/killed
If your mom is 73 and you are in jail you are a fsckup. If you ask your 73 yo mom for this contraband you are a double fsckup. Having mommy do it sure helped pay off the debt huh? Southern Europe where mommy is next to God (and a significant portion of the population are mommies boys) but your spouse is for beating on.
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Friday 13th November 2015 09:33 GMT JetSetJim
Re: hmm
> If your mom is 73 and you are in jail you are a fsckup
Yeah, cos no-one is mistakenly jailed for crimes they didn't commit, and there is no link between poverty and crime
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