back to article 'Cancer-causing bacon would put a real dampner on processed pig sales'

This week, it was all about a CIA hack, a stock handout at Twitter and a tale of laid-off worker outrage. Now, let's have a look at the quotes of the week: The fatty sheen has been taken off the bacon sarnie with new research that tells us processed meats could be a cancer risk. In its report, the World Health Organisation …

  1. JeffyPoooh
    Pint

    Cure for cancer...

    It's common knowledge among Canadians that one can protect oneself from the dangers of bacon by drenching it first in maple syrup.

    1. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

      Re: Cure for cancer...

      But what about the dangers of the Sugar in said Maple Syrup?

      Life is dangerous.

      1. Elmer Phud

        Re: Cure for cancer...

        Maple Syrup does NOT have sugar in it -- it is Holy nectar.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Cure for cancer...

          "Maple Syrup does NOT have sugar in it -- it is Holy nectar."

          Sadly actual analysis of maple syrup shows it to be mainly sucrose with some invert sugar (fructose/glucose mix) and possibly extra glucose. A chemically acceptable substitute can be made by taking 750g of cane sugar, adding 50-100g of golden syrup, 5g of malic acid, and a gramme or two of potassium chloride, aq. ad 1000ml. If available substitute half the golden syrup with the same weight of glucose.

          I realise that by revealing this I may have wiped out the Canadian maple syrup industry, but this is a small price to pay for correcting the parent's statement.

  2. Mikel

    Everything causes cancer

    Not everything is delicious bacon.

    1. Elmer Phud

      Re: Everything causes cancer

      To true, I'd like to know where the pig had been first.

      Never know what you can catch.

      It would be nice to know which form(s) of cancer are involved - well, if I get, say, prostate cancer, does this mean I should or shouldn't go on a bacon binge?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Everything causes cancer

        Phew... Just got the all clear on my Colon and Prostrate tests. Now where's the Bacon?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Everything causes cancer

      100% of cancer suffers all were inflicted with living before contracting cancer. We all should put an end to living, only then can we be 100% safe from cancer.

  3. a_yank_lurker

    Feinstein

    Proving Czar Reed's dictum about Congress critters - They subtract from the some total of human knowledge when they speak. Note: Czar Reed (Thomas Brackett Reed of Maine) was the Speaker of the US House of Representatives in the 1890's and was noted for his sarcastic comments about his "colleagues" in the US Congress.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Feinstein

      She sucks like a vacuum, is as closed-minded as a Three Letter Agency, probably causes cancer, & should be given lead poisoning by senior citizens.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Feinstein

      The leaders of the USA (not necessarily the people) are exhibiting the classic symptoms of Empire Old Age syndrome. These include

      - increased authoritarianism when their powers are fading

      - feelings of persecution by lesser powers (Elephants frightened of ants)

      - A conviction that they are right and everyone else is wrong, that they are exceptional.

      - being oblivious to future change and thinking that they are permanent.

      Our post war leaders like Macmillan acted similarly. They really thought that Britain did the world a favour by setting up the Empire and running our colonies they way we did.

      The future is with China and probably India. When the big data movers like Facebook or their replacements store their (our) information in China rather than the US then I wonder whether Ms Feinstein and her like wilt be so gung-ho about having government access to everything. I expect that they will then start wanting to protect their data like the EU does.

      Our principles are no better than those in the USA, we don't want the NSA to have our data but many think that GCHQ should have no such limitations. It all depends on who you think are the Good Guys and who are the Bad Guys.

      1. Mark 85

        Re: Feinstein

        Well said and a good analysis in my opinion. Have an upvote.

        The problem in the US is that the electorate listens to the "leaders" who really are leaders but the one's who get the most money and the best strategists money can buy at election time. The general electorate is more absorbed by the latest shiny or celeb than trying to figure out who's a real leader and who isn't.

        The dumbing down process that started in the late 60's is working the way the government has planned....

  4. Your alien overlord - fear me

    Something causing cancer doesn't always hit sales big time - look at ciggies, still going strong.

    It's when you have to produce ID to buy a slice from behind the 'special counter' or are asked to sit outside when eating a bacon buttie. That's when life gets tough!!!

    1. Jos V
      Happy

      hm, yeah. There would be something wrong when they consider second-hand pork-eating being worse than first-hand pork eating.

      I think I have to go and start a rumour before the world goes mad, that being a nagging vegan causes one's brain to disintegrate.

  5. JakeMS
    Angel

    Ever get the feeling that most of these "don't do this" "don't do that" people make products "bad" simply because they don't like said things as such set themselves a mission to stop anyone else from being able to enjoy it?

    That's how it looks to me anyway.

    Anyhow I'll have one Egg, Bacon and Sausage sarnie with a glass of rum and one cigar please.

    Thanks.

    ..

    In my opinion: Stop worrying about what could or will kill you. You will die one day regardless of what you eat/do so enjoy what you can in life and stop worrying about what might kill you! Otherwise you'll spend your whole life basically doing nothing (if you follow all the rules on being healthy) and live one boring long life with no fun and no adventure.

    Heck, you could be the healthiest person in the world.. but that's not going to stop that bus that's about to run you over.

    1. kain preacher

      Yes. you are 100% correct.in the US this applies to nanny groups especially the anti gay crowd. Gawd that group thinks about gay sex then any gay person you will meet.

  6. Palpy

    Dumb thing to say, Betsy Booren

    "If they determine that red and processed meat causes cancer – and I think they will – that moniker will stick. It could take decades and billions of dollars to change that."

    Do you mean change it like the ciggie companies tried -- successfully, for decades -- to cover up and minimize the cancer danger in their product? Boy, that would be an ethical way to respond to the dangers posed by nitrosamines in the product.

    Or they could alter the way bacon is processed. But that's not what she proposed.

  7. Cameron Colley
    Black Helicopters

    Of course Bacon is carcinogenic!

    Though not apparent from the ingredients label it contains the known carcinogen DHMO which is said to be implicated in 100% of all cancer case, as well as many other fatal illnesses.

    Sadly, the movement to ban DHMO from food is being blocked by governments paid off by pro-DHMO lobbyists and deaths where DHMO is involved in some way are rarely attributed to it.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Of course Bacon is carcinogenic!

      Due to my exposure to DHMO, my life is now dependent upon it. I once attempted to reduce my dependency but it ended up causing extreme headaches and difficulty in urination. I have a high tolerance and intake requirement, a couple of litres a day. If only there was a cure.

    2. a_yank_lurker
      Linux

      Re: Of course Bacon is carcinogenic!

      Dihydrogen monoxide strikes again:)

    3. Jos V

      Re: Of course Bacon is carcinogenic!

      Cameron, have an upvote from me, actually throwing that in google, and consequently slamming my head into my laptop. Long forgot about that one :-)

  8. Unicornpiss
    Meh

    Something is going to kill all of us

    If it's decided that meat causes cancer and we all become vegans, what do you bet another study will find something about that lifestyle that reduces life expectancy once it is studied more?

    I used to have a shirt that said "Eat right, exercise, die anyway." And having had several friends over the years that have died well before their time, including a 21-yo friend with brain cancer and a 18-yo that died after playing basketball due to an undiagnosed heart defect, it's apparent that life is a crap shoot in many ways. You might as well enjoy what you like. (within reason) If you enjoy inhaling asbestos dust and washing it down a tall glass of PCBs, maybe this is an exception. What is the point of abstaining from all the fun in life to live a few more years, when all the years you've lived are a grey and depressing blur of bland food and non-alcoholic beer?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Something is going to kill all of us

      Is it possible to have a healthy complete vegan diet without manufactured supplements?

    2. Palpy

      Re: Something is going to kill all of us, yes. But it's all down to --

      -- probabilities. Playing the odds.

      Surely you could be mauled to death by rabid badgers tomorrow; or croak of alcohol-induced cirrhosis of the liver at 45; or live well and make it past your 100th birthday, like my father. You will die, so will I, that's certain. The only uncertainties are how long until the inevitable happens, and how healthy you are up until then.

      But ask any poker player whether they play the odds. Does a savvy player stick with a bad hand as dealt, or draw to improve it?

      Your choice, man.

      IMHO, vegan is not very interesting. I would favor a more sensible and savory omnivore's diet. Perhaps avoid most heavily refined and processed foods. But again, your choice, man.

    3. Michael Thibault

      Re: Something is going to kill all of us

      And it's as like as not going to be a Mental Storm (tm) of oxymorons like "non-alcoholic beer".

      1. Jos V

        Re: Something is going to kill all of us

        Vegetarian hamburger? Diet Coke? Organic chicken? Beef bacon? Low fat salt? Diet mayo?

        Oh well. All those labels just make it easier for me to chose what not to buy.

  9. Andy Tunnah

    Am I psychic ?

    In my mind, processed meat has always been a cancer romancer. If not for the cancer, the heart disease. If not for the heart disease, for the cholesterol. If not for the..you get the idea.

    It's processed reformed pig meat. We're not eating it as an after-gym pick me up

    1. dogged

      Re: Am I psychic ?

      > It's processed reformed pig meat

      No it isn't. It's cured slices of pig meat. No processing or reforming required.

      What the hell are you eating?

      1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

        Re: Am I psychic ?

        It's cured slices of pig meat. No processing or reforming required.

        I'll agree on the "reforming", but curing is a process. So is slicing, for that matter. One could argue that "processed" in this context is a term of art in the food industry; but it's hard to see how to define that term sensibly in a manner that doesn't include curing, by whatever means you might pick (smoke, salt, drying - are there others?).

        Personally, I care not a whit. I enjoy a varied diet myself, and that includes a pretty wide array of things people call "bacon" and related artifacts. Not a lot of it, true, but that's because I can only put down so many calories in a day and there are so many things to eat. I'm going to continue to strike a medium between things I enjoy and things that are probably1 good for me, and take my chances.

        1Based on sound research, as far as I can determine. I have little patience for the typical nutritionist nonsense, since many of them seem to be quoting things that have long been debunked.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    A life without bacon

    is a life not worth living.

    I'm sure everyone will welcome the news from the utterly reliable and credible WHO on the dangers of bacon and other processed meats.

    1. Mark 85

      Re: A life without bacon

      I'm sure everyone will welcome the news from the utterly reliable and credible WHO on the dangers of bacon and other processed meats.

      I daresay you're right... Muslims, Jews, and Vegans will certainly. The rest of us... not so much. Oh.. I forgot one more group.. the whiney group that follows every celeb because they speak the gospel truth. If one of them picks up on this, bacon may well be doomed. Look at the vaccination BS spouted by a certain no-brain celeb as an example.

      1. Graham Dawson Silver badge

        Re: A life without bacon

        " Look at the vaccination BS spouted by a certain no-brain celeb as an example."

        That's a pretty broad field.

      2. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

        Re: A life without bacon

        I daresay you're right... Muslims, Jews, and Vegans will certainly

        What rubbish. I know a number of Muslims and Jews who aren't interested in telling other people what to eat, and certainly aren't interested in gloating over some possible cancer risk those other people might be exposing themselves to. I've even known some vegans who weren't self-righteous prats.

        You, on the other hand, seem rather keen to assume ill will on the part of others.

        1. Mark 85

          Re: A life without bacon

          No... not a bigot or assuming ill-will at all. I know a lot of folks with varied backgrounds and I embrace them. I also know that there's certain places in the world, if I walked down the street eating a bacon sarnie, I'm dead.

          The problem is the extremists in those groups. The world seems to be in appeasement mode. If you're a radical, the UN and many governments will bend over backwards to appease you. We, the population, are expected to go along with this... if not willingly, we will be forced to, or so it seems.

  11. Captain DaFt

    Ah yes the terror of the week.

    Next week it may well be sunlight again, or lack of it, or exercise, or lack of, or alcoholic beverages, or lack of them, that cause cancer.

    And then, the obverse of the coin; Sunscreen was touted to help prevent cancer, then it was found that the most commonly used ingredients caused cancer.

    And anti-oxidants, remember them? Touted as the cure all to reduce risk of cancer (So eat you veggies!) Then a strong link was discovered between them and increased cancer growth, and all the antioxidant hype went strangely quiet.

    Life is fatal, enjoy it while you can, you're not getting out of it alive!

    “I knew a man who gave up smoking, drinking, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.”―Johnny Carson

    1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

      Re: Ah yes the terror of the week.

      And anti-oxidants, remember them? Touted as the cure all to reduce risk of cancer (So eat you veggies!) Then a strong link was discovered between them and increased cancer growth,

      To be fair, this study didn't contradict claims that antioxidants might decrease the risk of cancer developing, per se. It showed that (in mice, two) antioxidants had a strong correlation with faster tumor growth once cancer had already developed.

      That said, there's some reason to believe that the only difference between "having cancer" and "not having cancer" is that in the latter case, the body's apoptotic (cell-destroying) processes are still keeping up - that we all have multiple miniscule cancers all the time. Thus there may not be much difference between "supporting tumor growth" and "causing cancer". But it's not as simple as "uh oh, antioxidants increase overall cancer risk".

      In fact, the supposed anti-carcinogenic mechanism named in the article (reducing DNA damage) would apply to the formation of new cancers; it wouldn't do squat for existing ones. But I'm pretty sure I've seen some studies that say that purported mechanism is bunk anyway, and no one's sure just what antioxidants are doing.

      It's probably safe to say that eating a daily pound of blueberries or raw almonds or whatever "superfood" people are touting this week isn't going to make you magically safe from developing cancer.

      and all the antioxidant hype went strangely quiet.

      All of it? Not by a long shot.

  12. NanoMeter

    With a common goal but different reasons...

    ... the vegans and muslims rejoice.

  13. pewpie

    To paraphrase the late William Melvin Hicks..

    - Who, coincidentally, gave up smoking - then developed cancer and died.

    Vegetarians die every day... Bon Appetit!

    Imma eat your share of all the bacons, bitches.

  14. CarbonLifeForm

    Then again

    They've recently had to walk back some of the anti fat crusade, as its become pretty clear much of the science implicating fat intake and heart disease was based on shaky studies. Also it's been noted that American obesity has gone up as fat content in everything has been ramped down and replaced with sugar.

    Wonderful if this will be similar.

  15. Captain DaFt

    And since no one's thrown this in yet:

    https://youtu.be/1yCeFmn_e2c

  16. Fihart

    Dampner ?

    Surely, Damper or Dampener.

  17. Cincinnataroo

    Jeepers

    I really hope most people's diets aren't guided by the bit dribble of government and large organisations.

    It's easy enough to figure out what nitrites and the fillers in many sausages, fermented meat (salami) etc. do to you. Those who figured for themselves have been safer for years.

    Basically believing portentious pronouncements from "important organisations" causes long term thought diseases, which can be fatal.

    Besi9des, lumping red meat in general with bacon, salami etc. is clear evidence that their work is bad, simply over-aggregated.

  18. cortland

    No

    No rasher statement's yet been made.

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