back to article Wheels come off parents' plan to dub sprog 'Mini Cooper'

A French couple's plan to dub their daughter "Mini Cooper" looks to be heading for the breaker's yard after officials referred the matter to court. According to L'Indépendant, the town hall in Perpignan alerted the public prosecutor's office to the name, which in turn asked judges to rule against the moniker. French law allows …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Given the amount of unwanted foul muck that comes out of the back end of a baby, surely Volkswagen would've been a more appropriate choice.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Another similarity to VW

      Coincidentally, the one time they *don't* seem to produce all those noxious emissions is when they're in test mode... er, I mean potty training.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Another similarity to VW

        FYI the VW Diesels actually pass dynamometer emissions tests. They only emit excess pollutants when the software reduces operation of the emissions controls to a point slightly below requirements. It's a simple software fix for a minute issue. The test detection software was a stupid inclusion and illegal, all for a tiny improvement in mpg and performance.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Another similarity to VW

          "FYI the VW Diesels actually pass dynamometer emissions tests..."

          Ok. Read this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke

          Let us know how you get on with it.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Another similarity to VW

          They only emit excess pollutants when the software reduces operation of the emissions controls to a point slightly below requirements.

          "As a result, emissions of NOx increased by a factor of 10 to 40 times above the EPA compliant levels, depending on the type of drive cycle (e.g., city, highway)."

          http://www3.epa.gov/otaq/cert/documents/vw-nov-caa-09-18-15.pdf

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Not such an odd name.

    One of my old pest control customers was a Ms Minnie Cooper..

    Lovely old lady as well...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      @cornz 1

      Listen to some of these names https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7OxTxAvvLw and be glad it's not you.

  3. Graham Marsden
    Happy

    What about...

    ... Bobby Tables?

    1. Kubla Cant
      Paris Hilton

      Re: What about...

      I'm amazed nobody's yet mentioned Paris Hilton.

      Do the Hiltons have a child called Shepherds Bush, who likes to be known as Kensington?

      1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

        Re: What about...

        I'm amazed nobody's yet mentioned Paris Hilton.

        True, after all Paris is a boy's name.

      2. tony2heads

        Re: What about...

        Lewisham'ilton

      3. bpfh
        Paris Hilton

        Re: What about...

        :s/Shepherds/Paris/g

  4. Peter Simpson 1

    So, I guess Ford Prefect would be out as well, then?

  5. Stratman
    1. Christoph

      Re: What about

      Shanda Lear (daughter of the founder of Lear Jet)

    2. bpfh

      Re: What about

      Ford Prefect?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Happy

        Re: What about

        Anne Diamond

        What were her parents thinking of? Everyone knows it's A Diamond.

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: What about

          "Anne Diamond

          What were her parents thinking of? Everyone knows it's A Diamond."

          I used to know a girl called Elizabeth Ore. E.Ore. Not funny at school.

    3. x 7

      Re: What about

      Austin Healey once stated on the TV that if he'd had a sister his father intended to name her "Jensen"

  6. Sceptic Tank Silver badge

    Good thing then that Minnie Driver was born in the UK.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Well, there's nothing like giving your kids the best start in life ...

    ... and, believe me, that really is nothing like giving your kids the best start in life

  8. Blank-Reg
    Joke

    In the case of the Prince William name, I reckon it was more the association with royalty than any worries on mockery. That's something that'd cost you your head (traditionally) in Le France...

    1. DavCrav

      Must...resist...temptation...to correct...gender...

      1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

        Great, now I have an image of a transgendered Prince William in my head.

        1. caffeine addict

          Is a transgender Prince William better or worse than a transgender Prince Albert?

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        @DavCrav: What is Blank-Reg's gender and what should it be corrected to?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          "What is Blank-Reg's gender and what should it be corrected to?"

          Assuming that's a request for edification?

          The French language denotes all things as being either masculine or feminine. There is no "neuter" gender. There are different spellings for effectively the same word depending on that gender. A bit like the English use of "actor" and "actress". Except that's as far as English spelling differences go - and modern English is gradually eliminating even those differences.

          In French the adjectives, articles, and verbs have different spellings too - to agree with the gender of word they describe. A small boy singer is a "petit chanteur" - a small girl singer is a "petite chanteuse"

          Everything has a defined gender - even if there are not two sexes. eg a "table" is female. A small shop is female (boutique) but a large store is male (magasin).

          The name of the country is assigned to be feminine and its definite article is therefore the feminine form "La" to make "La France". The male form for "the" is "Le".

          The use of the definite article with a country's name is not so rigorously used in English. We say "The USA", "The Czech Republic" - but we've stopped using "The Ukraine" as it was seen as a slight on Ukraine's new sovereignty after the collapse of the USSR.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Ok. Read this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke

            Let us know how you get on with it.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              "Let us know how you get on with it."

              If a joke has to be explained then it loses its potential to be funny.

  9. DavCrav

    "The latter name would, according to the court, "inevitably attract mockery", such as its use in the phrase "ramène ta fraise" or "move your arse"."

    Interesting justification, that it appears in a rude slang phrase, so shouldn't be a name. How would they feel about, in no particular order, "Dick", "Fanny", "Thomas", "Roger", "Jack", and so on?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I went to school with a Richard Shakeshaft. Some parents are bastards, really.

      1. Gordon 10

        Agreed. I once met a Miles Long.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Miles Long

          ...that's nothing. I went to school with Mike Hunt, Wayne Carr, Hugh Janus, Peter Phile and my father, a barber, recently went bankrupt trying to sell the Saville range of teenage grooming products.

      2. werdsmith Silver badge

        Major Dickie Head MC seems to have done OK in the army with an interesting name....

        http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8014318.stm

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        A place where I used to work had a senior manager named John Thomas.

      4. Scott 53

        I went to school with a John Thomas. Sadly at the time I didn't realise how funny that was. I'm sure someone has pointed it out to him by now.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      If names are rejected because they "might attract mockery"

      What about people labelled "French"?

      1. disgruntled yank

        Re: If names are rejected because they "might attract mockery"

        Like Sir John?

        1. tirk
          Coat

          Re: If names are rejected because they "might attract mockery"

          I met a bloke called Lee Flett at a party once. Claimed his sister was called Pam.

          1. Martin Budden Silver badge

            Re: If names are rejected because they "might attract mockery"

            I met a bloke called Lee Flett at a party once. Claimed his sister was called Pam.

            I was at school with that bloke. For real. Even though his surname is actually spelled "Flatt" his parents' joke still works.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      there's always a Catch-22

      Just ask Major Major Major.

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: there's always a Catch-22

        "Just ask Major Major Major."

        I once went out with a girl whose surname was Major and one of my wifes uncles had the given name of Major. It's surprisingly common (well, not really common, but not as rare as you might expect)

  10. Jagged

    Hows the saying go?

    Any kid that can get through life with a name like that must have something their parents lacked.

    1. Turtle

      @ Jagged Re: Hows the saying go?

      "Any kid that can get through life with a name like that must have something their parents lacked."

      "A Boy Named Sue".

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: @ Jagged Hows the saying go?

        "A Boy Named Sue"

        ...or even a tough guy film star called Marion.

  11. Amorous Cowherder

    L'Indépendant notes that the powers that be in Valenciennes, northern France, have previously rejected "Nutella" and "Fraise" (Strawberry). The latter name would, according to the court, "inevitably attract mockery", such as its use in the phrase "ramène ta fraise" or "move your arse".

    My real name is George...you any idea how many variations there are of a certain nursery rhyme with my name in it? Well I bet I probably heard most of them while I was sat school. The stupidity of all this is that kids will find a way to rip the piss out of any name, no matter how sensible it is. I had a mate with a surname Bogard, he had a number 2 cut all the time I knew him at school, Bogard somehow transformed into "Bogbrush" as in what his hair looked like as it grew out each time.

    The one thing human memory needs is cues, so we look for traits in someone's appearance or habits in order to link their abstract name with their image. The only difference is that kids don't internalise it, they voice it openly in order, as a group, to ensure they remember it and maintain the pecking order kids often set up amongst themselves.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "The stupidity of all this is that kids will find a way to rip the piss out of any name, no matter how sensible it is."

      Friends named their son before they saw the obvious contractions of forename and family name that could result. Everyone in their peer generation agreed it was inevitable. Surprisingly it never happened.

  12. BenBell

    ..and yet someone was allowed to call their kid "Hashtag"?

    http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4671412/We-called-our-baby-hashtag.html

    I'm off to weep for society now - if you need me I'll be in the comms room.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "I'm off to weep for society now [...]"

      A name is a distinguishing label - possibly denoting a sympathetic magic hope for a particular quality - or describing an obvious feature of the person. Over time the meaning becomes lost and it becomes a largely arbitrary word used as a recognised name.

      I am an atheist labelled as "Christ carrier".

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    > La Mini Cooper.

    <pedant>

    That's not a Mini Cooper, it's a bog standard Mini (probably a Mark 5).

    </pedant>

    1. Jean Le PHARMACIEN

      Mini Cooper - er NOT

      You beat me to it.

      A quite scruffy French Mini at that, (probably from Paris which would explain everything).

      Bootnote: just checked department of registration and IT IS PARIS! I claim my free Friday beer for being a saddo (as my son would have it)

      1. x 7

        Re: Mini Cooper - er NOT

        Of course its Paris

        thats the only place other than Turin where you'd get a Mini with those oversized bolt on bumpers

        In Italy some of the Innocenti Coopers had the "wrong" radiator grille like the one in the photo, but thats not an Innocenti Cooper. Looking at the 1970's style "Mini" badge on that grille I'd gamble on it being a Belgian Seneffe built one? Thoughts anyone?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Mini Cooper - er NOT

          Thoughts anyone?

          You should get out more.

          1. x 7

            Re: Mini Cooper - er NOT

            "You should get out more."

            spoken like a true coward.

  14. Efros

    The King

    Kid at the training centre I worked at in Scotland was christened Elvis, he was fortunate in one respect, he had a very high forehead which meant he was dubbed Tefal by his contemporaries and escaped any jibing about his name. Clip of Tefal ad for those too young to remember.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsNwtBv3PI0

    1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: The King

      Did he end up working down the chip shop?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: The King

        No, that's not him- the guy working down the chip shop who swears he's Elvis is actually a liar.

        And I'm not sure about you.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I knew an expectant father called Maurice

    We were concerned his kiddie could become called Maurice Minor

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I knew an expectant father called Maurice

      "We were concerned his kiddie could become called Maurice Minor"

      In the public school system they distinguished concurrent siblings at the same school by a standard suffix to their family name. So "Morris, major" would not be a problem - his younger brother would be "Morris, minor".

      1. PNGuinn
        Facepalm

        @AC ""Morris, major""

        There actually WAS a Morris Major I believe.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Having worked in a school I can attest to the oddness of some parents' sprog naming

    There is a definite trend for giving one's special little stars 'unique' names, frequently involving the addition of random zeds and totally made up words. And what is it with giving your offspring a surname as a first name, especially when the family name could also be a first name? E.G. (made up by me to show the sort of thing) Smith Graham.

    I'm personally in favour of giving them all a unique ID number at birth, it'd make life a lot easier from a data analysis perspective.

    1. SW10

      Re: So you can attest to the oddness of some parents' sprog naming?

      And what is it with giving your offspring a surname as a first name, especially when the family name could also be a first name?

      Oi!

      I have a first name as a surname and a surname as a first name. Some people write it the wrong way round, some imagine it's double-barrelled, some get it right.

      I quite like both and they're essential to my identity even though I chose neither.

      1. d3vy

        Re: So you can attest to the oddness of some parents' sprog naming?

        There is a girl at work who has an unusual spelled first name and her last name is paul...

        Because the work exchange server shows names as Last, First

        A lot of people assume she has a funny second name and email her saying "Hi Paul"

        I once also had a Customer Called Mr David.. Or Mr Emmanuel... We never got to the bottom of that (it was Mr David in the system and thats what he seemed go with... but was that just because he had given in explaining to people??!!)

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: So you can attest to the oddness of some parents' sprog naming?

          A Scottish colleague was stopped by the police one night as he was driving home. They asked where he was going from and to. So he named the two towns of his journey.

          Then they asked his name - which happened to be the same two names as the respective towns. I remember one was "Hamilton".

          1. Pookietoo

            Re: Then they asked his name

            Douglas is about 20 miles south of Hamilton. :-)

            1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

              Re: Then they asked his name

              "Douglas is about 20 miles south of Hamilton."

              Lewis is a bit further away :-)

      2. PNGuinn
        Joke

        @ SW10

        OK Don't keep us in suspense. What's the full postcode?

    2. Mark 85

      Re: Having worked in a school I can attest to the oddness of some parents' sprog naming

      I'm personally in favour of giving them all a unique ID number at birth, it'd make life a lot easier from a data analysis perspective.

      Unless you're dyslexic... then that might be a problem. OTOH, we could see going back to the early days of LED calculators and writing things with numbers that made words. Unintended consequences and all that.

  17. Alister
    Facepalm

    There are various Celebrity parents who should have been blocked from naming their children as they did, the Geldof's for instance have three daughters, Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom and Pixie...

    But surely the worst have to be "Future" or "Royal Reign" as daughters names?

    1. DavCrav

      Kanye West's son is called North.

      That is all.

      1. d3vy

        Re: Kanye West's son is called North.

        If enough start referencing to kanye as CockFace I think it will catch on and he will be forced to accept it as his new name.

      2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Kanye West's son is called North.

        If he also names his son North will that be North by North West?

        1. Simon Harris

          Re: Kanye West's son is called North.

          If he gets into the White House, will there be a Kanye West Wing?

          1. Mark 85

            Re: Kanye West's son is called North.

            If he gets into the White House, will there be a Kanye West Wing?

            Now that's a scary thought....

    2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      "the Geldof's for instance have three daughters, Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom and Pixie..."

      I was listening quite recently to Bob Geldof on Desert Island Discs (all existing episodes are on the BBC website) and IIRC the very young Peaches said the new baby looked like a Pixie so that was the name she got. I think there was almost reasonable sounding reasons for the other names too.

  18. Bigpatc

    Horaceson

    My wife used to deal with folks that needed some "parenting help" from the state. Best baby name ever was Horaceson, "Because I'm a whore and he's my son". Fortunately his birth certificate was replaced when he was adopted and he has a nice normal name.

  19. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    I've always thought that providing the parents were wealthy enough this was a good ploy. Child grows up, successfully sues parents, cash passes from one generation to the next without a tax liability.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      My brother's oldest daughter's first and middle names are Dawn Rose....well, yes, it does, nearly every day. I did actually laugh when they told me her name. (I'll never be forgiven...)

  20. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    It's surprising how stuff can escape your attention. After carefully selecting a couple of attractive names for our daughter we never cottoned onto the significance of the initials until they caused a certain amount of confusion about her status when she was a post-grad. It's all resolved now as she's Dr DR ...

    1. DavCrav

      "It's surprising how stuff can escape your attention. After carefully selecting a couple of attractive names for our daughter we never cottoned onto the significance of the initials until they caused a certain amount of confusion about her status when she was a post-grad. It's all resolved now as she's Dr DR ..."

      There's a famous mathematician called HSM Coxeter. His two middle names were swapped from their original position after the unfortunate abbreviation was pointed out by a Godparent.

      1. Anonymous Custard

        Reminds me of a couple of similar examples, like Mr and Mrs Peacock who christened their child Andrew, but being American always referred to him as Drew, at least until he grew up and other kids at school started taking the piss and calling him Viagra.

        Also the noted (by some) French Physicist d'Arsonval (or Jacques-Arsène d'Arsonval to give him his full name and double the sniggers), compounded by having his most famous work being d'Arsonval's Movement (as exhibited in moving-coil galvanometers and similar meters).

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          The IT industry had a famous man - E.C.H. Organ. I never heard him referred to anywhere other than as "Echo" Organ.

          1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
            Joke

            Speaking of initials, i's just as well Dara Ó Briain wasn't called Norman then

    2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      "It's all resolved now as she's Dr DR ..."

      What? A pair'o docs?

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Some people call me the space cowboy...

    Some call me the gangster of love

    Some people call me Maurice

    I'm a joker, I'm a smoker. I'm a midnight toker

    I sure don't want to hurt no one

    I'm a picker, I'm a grinner, I'm a lover, And I'm a sinner

    I play my music in the sun

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Dweezil doesn't seem to be a particularly unhappy bloke. Sad, yes, but not unhappy.

  23. SW10

    My mate Mr Law...

    ...throughout his wife's pregnancy, threaten to call the lad Marshall.

    1. Lamont Cranston

      Re: My mate Mr Law...

      First name has to be "The", surely?

  24. This post has been deleted by its author

  25. Roger Kynaston

    hows about

    A motorcycle nut (a number of years ago) called his children Vincent and Harley.

    And of course you have to remember the late lamented Paula Yates calling her daughters Peaches and Fifitrixibelle.

    1. Frumious Bandersnatch

      Re: hows about

      There's a Japanese musician who calls himself "Cornelius" after the character from Planet of the Apes. According to Wikipedia, he called his son Milo, who happens to be the son of Cornelius in the film.

  26. John Savard

    More to It

    While this sort of thing might make sense, that France prevents Breton parents from giving their children Breton names, or Norway disallows children being given Swedish names, and so on is completely contrary to civilized norms, and therefore should be prohibited by the human rights codes of the European Union.

    1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge
      Stop

      Re: More to It

      That French naming policy ended about 15-20 years ago - they now only rule out obviously silly names. The first test case was for a boy called Zebulon (known in the UK as Zebedee, as in the Magic Roundabout) - it was disallowed.

      Restricting names to those of saints did however have the advantage that you'd get additional presents on your saint's day, as well as on your own birthday.

      1. captain veg Silver badge

        Re: More to It

        Another consequence of the "must be a saint" naming rule is that people often picked by looking at a calendar. Some people plumped for the national day (Fete Nationale), and named their sprog Fetnat. Really.

        -A.

      2. Simon Harris

        Additional presents...

        Only 12 days until the feast of St. Simon.

        I'll be expecting presents from you all!

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Additional presents...

          "Only 12 days until the feast of St. Simon."

          Can you claim a second batch for St. Peter?

        2. Mark 85

          Re: Additional presents...

          But the best presents will go the BOFH..... out of fear probably.

  27. Joe Harrison

    And whilst we're at it

    Let's ban directory design choices which insist on displaying names back-to-front, such as "Smith John". Absolute nightmare in a large organisation especially when there inevitably exists a few legacy systems which for some reason displays the right way round.

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I recall there was a man whose last name was actually "Bytheway". And yes, someone did ask him if he'd considered naming his son "Owen".

  29. Alistair
    Windows

    wear mine proudly

    Despite the fact that growing up it caused no end of teasing. I can't get over the number of teachers that over the years told me I should use my middle name instead. I have to ask, what in the name of ${DEITY} is *wrong* with giving your child a unique name? Certainly, there are those that have reached into truly bizarre territory to do so, but it really isn't *wrong*. I don't think calling someone Hashtag would be wise, or perhaps naming your daughter Fart, but I see nothing wrong with finding something that fits your child, and your sensibility.

    I think Frank Z's kids did just fine with their names, and Dweezil and Moonunit are just about as far out there as one might go.

    I know of a teenager who goes by the name Mini Cooper. I rather suspect, with her sense of humour, she'll be looking to get one to drive.

    1. Turtle

      @Alistair Re: wear mine proudly

      "I think Frank Z's kids did just fine with their names, and Dweezil and Moonunit are just about as far out there as one might go."

      You can't really judge that from a distance. Maybe they "did just fine" with their names. Maybe not. How would you really know?

      Also, you need to take into account the fact that Frank Zappa himself was looked at as (and was, I'd say) kind of eccentric, and that's the milieu in which the kids with the weird names were raised. If someone says "What kind of name is that?" and the answer is "My dad is Frank Zappa" - that's really all the answer that's needed, and the matter is closed and everything is, if not understood, then accepted. That in itself makes the Zappa kids' situation different from that of an average kid in average surroundings.

      Also, look at this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUisSrkHT0k and note that, at the very beginning, he actually kind of stops the interview in order to say a few things, one of which is that he does not want anyone to mock his kids' names. That's just bizarre. One might think that Frank had more difficulties with the names than the kids did.

    2. Vic

      Re: wear mine proudly

      what in the name of ${DEITY} is *wrong* with giving your child a unique name?

      It means they have no choice whether or not to stand out from the crowd; they will do so by your volition, not their own.

      As a child, I resented my parents' decision to give me a relatively unusual name. As an adult, I have become accustomed to it - to the extent that I rarely use my surname.But the transition between those phases involved quite a bit of aggravation; I believe my life would have been much simpler if I had had a more commonplace name - although it might have been less lucrative...

      Vic.

  30. Anonymous Custard

    Could be worse

    When my missus was at the hospital having our firstborn (named Amy, for any who think this may relate to her) I overheard at least three midwives talking another new mother out of wanting to call her child "Anus"...

    I think they succeeded, or at least I bloody well hope they did for the sake of the little girl involved.

    1. Peter Simpson 1
      Thumb Up

      Re: Could be worse

      It's pronounced "AH-noose", TYVM!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Could be worse

      Are we sure it was "Anus" and not, say, "Amos"?

  31. Daedalus

    Christian names

    What would these courts make of such awful choices as "Jesus" ? If they are in many Spanish speaking countries, no big deal.

    When you have eliminated all that is not commonly accepted, whatever remains, however bizarre, must be OK.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Christian names

      Well, calling a child "Jesus" using Western pronunciation is historically considered in bad taste (as Elton John touched on in "Levon"). At least the Hispanic pronunciation ("HE-soos") or the alternate name Jesse doesn't draw the instant association that makes the name "Jesus" uncomfortable.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Christian names

        In some places Damian is not an allowed name - as it could refer to the Devil. The BBC journalist Damian Grammaticas is apparently of Greek origin.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        @ Anonymous Coward Re: Christian names

        "the Hispanic pronunciation ("HE-soos")";

        The Hispanic pronunciation is "hay-SOOS".

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: @ Anonymous Coward Christian names

          No, I had it right the first time: I studied Spanish and frequently speak with Hispanics. First, unless there's an inflection mark, the emphasis in any Spanish word is on the penultimate syllable. Second, unless it ends the word (eg. José), the "e" is pronounced the way we would pronounce a short "e" in English, closer to the schwa than "ay".

  32. Andy The Hat Silver badge

    Someone I knew did name his daughter Theresa ... with the obvious surname of Green.

    Apparently the most favoured names at the moment are David and Cameron ...

    1. Vic

      Someone I knew did name his daughter Theresa ... with the obvious surname of Green.

      I went to school with a girl called Theresa Green.

      Strangely enough, none of us thought it weird until many years later...

      Vic.

  33. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Unhappy

    Shakes Head

    Some parents must really hate their kids... and that's from the moment they are born.

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    There should be an I.Q. test

    ...before people are allowed to procreate.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: There should be an I.Q. test

      Except it gets a bit scary as that smacks of Eugenics. Not to mention some of the "genetic purity" plans espoused by some of the more notorious people in history.

      1. Mark 85

        Re: There should be an I.Q. test

        But the radical Greenies would embrace that idea... for everyone but themselves.

  35. Your alien overlord - fear me

    Off topic about funny names but really. The phrase "ramène ta fraise" or "move your arse".

    I suppose cos strawberry (Fraise) is a fruit they think it's arse. As opposed to eating snails,frogs legs and horsemeat.

    1. Peter Simpson 1
      Thumb Up

      They often have a crease running down them, like pears. I suspect that's where it comes from.

    2. Peter Simpson 1
      Thumb Up

      Turns out, it doesn't mean "move your ass" at all, it means "to butt in", as to a conversation:

      On dit d'une personne qu'elle "ramène sa fraise" lorsque, dans une discussion, elle intervient souvent sans que le sujet de conversation ne la regarde ou sans qu'on lui demande son avis. Ici, la "fraise" n'est autre que la tête. En effet, il s'agit d'un vocabulaire argotique désignant le visage. En réalité, "ramener sa fraise" signifie tout simplement s'"approcher", ce qui a également donné l'expression "la ramener". Quant à ce verbe "ramener", il pourrait provenir des plus anciens "ramoner" et "ronchonner" qui signifiaient familièrement "râler".

      Bad translation:

      We say someone "ramene sa fraise", when, in a discussion, she intervenes frequently in a discussion that doesn't concern her or which hasn't asked her for her opinion. Here, "sa fraise" refers to her head. It's an argot term referring to the face.

      Perhaps also "come over here"...when used as "ramene ta fraise", literally "bring your [face] here"

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Trollface

    While we're using bad car puns as a sub-title (Wheels come off plan to name kid Mini Cooper)

    A moment in literary ignominy, from a past Bullwer-Lytton contest:

    Like an expensive sports car, fine-tuned and well-built, Portia was sleek, shapely, and gorgeous, her red jumpsuit molding her body, which was as warm as the seatcovers in July, her hair as dark as new tires, her eyes flashing like bright hubcaps, and her lips as dewy as the beads of fresh rain on the hood; she was a woman driven—fueled by a single accelerant—and she needed a man, a man who wouldn't shift from his views, a man to steer her along the right road, a man like Alf Romeo.

    —Rachel E. Sheeley, Williamsburg, Indiana (1988 Winner)

  37. Simon Harris

    Belgium wisely prevented Mr and Mrs Renault from calling their daughter Megane

    However, the French courts wouldn't stop Renault calling their car Zoe, after some Mr. & Mrs. Renaults complained that it was already their daughters' name.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-11732595

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Belgium wisely prevented Mr and Mrs Renault from calling their daughter Megane

      Mercedes is a girl's name. Her father named his engine design after her. So Mercédès Jellinek's name lives on in the Mercedes Benz branding.

      1. Vic

        Re: Belgium wisely prevented Mr and Mrs Renault from calling their daughter Megane

        Mercedes is a girl's name.

        It's better than that. Mercedes is a Jewish girl's name,

        Hitler's favourite car was named after a Jewess. That makes my day :-)

        Vic

        1. Charles 9

          Re: Belgium wisely prevented Mr and Mrs Renault from calling their daughter Megane

          I know the name Mercedes is pretty valid in most Romance languages (it's also a valid Spanish name, and I think you can have it in Italian, too), but this hint of it being Jewish makes me wonder which came first. Did the name come from Israel during Roman times becoming incorporated into Latin and so on, or did it come later?

        2. x 7

          Re: Belgium wisely prevented Mr and Mrs Renault from calling their daughter Megane

          Not quite true

          Mercedes is a Spanish derived name, originating from the Spanish title of the Virgin Mary, María de las Mercedes, meaning "Mary of Mercies". It is ultimately from the Latin word merces meaning "wages, reward", which in Vulgar Latin acquired the meaning "favour, pity".

          (see http://www.behindthename.com/name/mercedes)

          However the young girl the car was named after had a Rabbi as a grandfather - see

          http://jalopnik.com/5791169/the-secret-jewish-history-of-the-mercedes-name

  38. Frumious Bandersnatch

    if mini cooper is defendu

    would they get away with "Mini Me?"

  39. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The Won't Let Us Out!

    In America, they won't let you out of the hospital (maybe a good reason not to birth there) till the birth certificate has a name on it. The kid certainly isn't going to care for a few years.

    How can you name the kid till you know how he or she behaves?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The Won't Let Us Out!

      "How can you name the kid till you know how he or she behaves?"

      In many societies the names are aspirational - or sympathetic magic in the hope of particular qualities.

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A few odd ones

    Parents who liked the name Simeon, but unfortunatly spelt it Simian

    A Winston which wouldn't be too bad apart from the last name was Castle

    A Yipping Song (in fairness anglicisation issue not naming issue)

    Seren Moon - seren is Welsh for star, though I've never met a Bryn Hill, but have seen it on a street sign

  41. x 7

    A friend of my sister named her twins William and Benjamin

    Seems OK until you shorten the names

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "[...] William and Benjamin"

      Did they have an older sister?

      My parents never thought about the combination of my forename and family name. Suffice to say I grew up hating Uncle Mac's Saturday request programme playing the song about Alice taking a small boy to the Palace to see the changing of the guard.

      1. x 7

        "Did they have an older sister?"

        Happily no, no weeds around

  42. Queasy Rider

    Twins here...

    named 'Briggs' and 'Stratton'.

  43. bob, mon!
    Trollface

    Obligatory xkcd reference:

    https://xkcd.com/327/

  44. Pompous Git Silver badge

    In the UK went to school in Nuneaton where there was an Eric Hunt nicknamed Hairy for obvious reasons. In Hobart, Tasmania worked with one Dryden Heeps, nickname: Shit.

  45. Jock in a Frock

    My wife is a midwife, and has heard a few crackers. One couple called their kid Rogan Josh

    Seriously, what's wrong with some poeple?

  46. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. x 7

      Re: Some names to snort over...

      What? No Seymour Butts?

  47. Sirius Lee

    Do yo know who gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks..

    Credit: Stewart Francis winner of the Edinburgh Fringe 2012 funniest joke award.

  48. Pedigree-Pete

    Stu Francis

    Upvote for mentioning my favourite Canuk. World class 1 liners.

  49. Nick Pettefar

    In the late 70s I used to get a ride into work from a guy called Eddie Badcock. He drove a Stag...

  50. Martin Budden Silver badge
    Happy

    Frank Zappa's children are called

    Moon Unit

    Dweezil

    Ahmet

    Diva Muffin

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