back to article ICANN: Just give us the keys to the internet – or the web will disintegrate

Domain system overseer ICANN has embarked on a campaign of fear and fuzzy logic in its latest bid to seize control of the internet from the US government without agreeing to limits on its power. The handover of the critical IANA functions from Uncle Sam to ICANN was due to happen last week, but has been set back a year to …

  1. Pascal Monett Silver badge
    Mushroom

    "that could lead to the end of ICANN itself"

    Well that's the first time I've heard of good news on this subject.

    As if an administrative body could implode the functionality of all those tens of thousands of routers.

    Hey ICANN : BRING IT ON !

    You can be replaced. The routers won't notice, I promise.

  2. Gordon 10
    Unhappy

    They say it like those 5 things are bad

    Since most them seems to lead to ICANN not existing - clouds silver linings etc.

  3. quattroprorocked

    What's on slide 6? "and if you don't do what I say I'll get my big brother on you!"

  4. graeme leggett Silver badge

    choices

    I'll take options 1 and 3.

    Was the hidden option - loss of position, loss of salary, and loss of pension plan?

  5. Wommit

    Sounds like a spoiled, five year old brat throwing a tantrum.

    That alone is reason enough for the entire board to be fired and replaced.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    #1. ICANN's community may fracture or fray slowly, becoming divided, acrimonious, bitter

    Well if they're going to self-destruct in a year they're probably not the right people to give the internet to.

  7. Mad Chaz

    You know, the UN taking over would probably be a good thing. For one, it would give it a stable source of income that isn't dependent on the generosity of rich countries. For seconds, it would allow the world to avoid such wonderful ideas as .suck as people screaming "this is a bad idea" might actually get listened to. And third, ICANN as proven time and time again it's a spoiled brat. Getting it out of the picture sounds like a win for everyone else to me.

    I still don't get why "the internet community" asn't just said "Screw them. Let's create a non-profit with people who aren't such brats to handle this. ICANN can go do something biologically impossible to itself"

    Hell, I'm even willing to be the first chairmain of such an organisation, with a non-renewable 4 year mandate to make sure the transition of even what ICANN currently does to that new organisation. That's one thing that should be forced on the board. You have a fixed term and don't get to do it more then once. You can bet it'll help avoid such wonderful "I won't let go no matter what" attitudes.

    1. Paul Crawford Silver badge

      I fully agree!

      Now about that "biologically impossible" act, I'm sure we all have a few old spare routers kicking around and a jar of Vaseline is well within my limited budget...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        and a jar of Vaseline is well within my limited budget

        I'd also be happy to supply a handful of grit to finish it off nicely.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Thing is, UN committees are prone to corruption. It's like committees about child abuse being composed mainly of nations notorious for child abuse and so on. Turning the matter over to the UN risks having the Internet usurped by the likes of the Chinese and the Russians (and this is a real fear, as they're hostile to the west and could attempt to sabotage it in a bid for power). Given that possibility, the cure could be worse than the disease and we'd be much better off with the US still at the reins.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Mushroom

      Sadly the organizations of the UN are worse in effectiveness, ego, fraud, nepotism, and abuse. They even manage to grace these pages in shame. WIPO anyone? And the individuals? Usually either sent to the UN due to incompetence, but connected, corrupt, but connected. Occasionally we get lucky and get some member of a effective opposition, but connected!, who has been shuffled out of their country.

      Then there's the anti-organizational goal bias. The very people that lobby to be accepted on a particular organization are those completely opposed to that function functioning. Look to the UN Human Rights commission. It's a those who of human rights violators and the ITU has just a bias as is, also gracing these pages.

      Yet for all that, it might actually work, for certain definitions of work. And given that the ITU is positively salivating at the thought, it's an effective hydrogen bomb compared to ICANN's big stick.

    4. TeeCee Gold badge
      Mushroom

      If the UN already ran the internet, fuck all would have changed for the last 20 years, as they'd have been too busy discussing and amending[1] the proposed draft IPV6 standard.

      It's a talking shop for political wannabees who are too shit to get elected to or fight/bribe their way into a real job.

      [1] If they really had their skates on, they might have agreed the font to be used to publish the initial draft standard by now.

  8. Pliny the Whiner

    I think a bunch of old librarians should run the Internet. Librarians have an unbroken record of taking punches, throwing punches, being generally unconcerned by what governments think about anything, uncommon grace, a heart for service, being focused on what matters, and having a level of maturity that is rare by any measure.

    Fuck the Internet. Librarians should run the world.

  9. Herby

    Be careful for what you wish for...

    ...you may just get it.

    If you think that the UN would make a good custodian, think again. They are a bunch of corrupt governments playing in a sandbox and not really doing much. Given that they assign everyone a single vote regardless of how much internet they have. Then you get a couple of countries (Russia, China, etc.) and they take over and we ALL suffer.

    Personally I prefer someone with a nice first amendment in its laws to oversee things, but that is just me. A forth amendment helps as well.

    1. Bc1609

      Re: Be careful for what you wish for...

      A forth amendment helps as well.

      Can't say I particularly want Scotland running things either.

      1. Astarte

        Re: Be careful for what you wish for...

        Bc1609

        I bet you're at least the fourth person to think that.

  10. The March Hare

    Librarians....

    Ook! OOK!!!

  11. Trollslayer
    Flame

    ICANN'T

    Or IWON'T?

    1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

      Re: ICANN'T

      Now I'm thinking of having a t-shirt made that says "ICANN but I WON'T". And maybe shipping a few of them to ICANN headquarters.

      The slogan might be accompanied by a picture of a shouting toddler.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Devil

    "or the web will disintegrate"

    hmmmmm... would that be such a bad thing? (In light of all the js/css/mobile/social/tracking BS it's devolved into)

    ICANN would surely implode along with the web. Centrally assigned numbers and names, who needs 'em anyway!

  13. WatAWorld

    ICANN should stop wasting time and do what the community it supposedly represents wants

    ICANN should stop wasting time and do what the community it supposedly represents wants.

    If the current ICANN board won't do that, replace it.

    I want the Americans to release their reigns on power, but I don't want the internet run as another FIFA or IOC or UN agency.

    So the Americans should hang on to control.

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