Stop climate change by drinking Coca-Cola says Oz government

Carbon sequestration?

Carbon sequestration?

1) Cut down big trees and build houses out of them. Carbon is locked away for hundreds of years.

2) Then plant new, fast growing trees which thrive in high CO2 environments and lock away more carbon in wood.

3) When trees grow, Repeat 1) and 2).

Simple.

The answer is obvious, really ...

Everybody knows that if you leave a bottle or can of soft drink (Australian term for "soda") open, it loses its fizz. This is true for both flavoured carbonated drinks and unflavoured Soda Water.

All we need to do is have a big Soda Water plant attached to every coal-fired power station, making gigalitres of soda water. The soda water can be dumped into a holding pond for a few days until it loses its fizz, and then the fresh water can be released for other purposes, or even recycled to make the next batch of soda water.

Simple!

Far canal!

I am truly embarrassed by my government.

Anon because I'm a public servant (which means I have to put up with this fuckwittery until the next election when hopefully I'll get a new boss).

But...

Every ton of co2 recovered from emissions and used in a fizzy drink is a ton that is not explicitly manufactured for use in fizzy drinks. It is just one of many possible dispositions of the captured co2. An important question is whether it is pure enough to use in food products.

I once read a write up of a plan to draw co2 out of the atmosphere and electrolysize it into carbon and oxygen. You need a non carbon energy source do do it. The author suggested nuclear. It can all work using exisxting technology - no inventions, just do it.

He wanted to reduce atmospheric co2, but If you capture the co2 from a plant that runs day and night, you could also use solar to break down the co2 during the day - effectively storing your solar energy by converting it into coal. You could even make a closed loop out of it. The only thing we need is a way to capture the co2 as fast as it is created.

Ridiculus

The CO2 would be released from soft drinks as soon as it was open. Carbon dioxide is needed by plants...so anyone wanting to reduce our carbon dioxide production would be guilty of killing plant life which is needed to produce oxygen...which would find them guilty of premeditated murder.

Drink liquid CO2

So, drink soda but don't burp....ever.

If the entire population of Australia stopped breathing, it would have more of an effect on Co2 output.

...Australia has worked closely with other countries which rely heavily on fossil fuels to investigate opportunities to utilise CO2 in products such as carbonated drinks...

Perhaps this will make more sense if we add a bit of emphasis:

"Australia has worked closely with other countries which rely heavily on fossil fuels TO INVESTIGATE OPPORTUNITIES to utilise CO2 in products such as carbonated drinks..."

You see, this is nothing to do with saving the world, or even science. This is to do with giving environmentalists large lashings of taxpayer money. The environmentalists lobby for huge handouts of our money, and promise the politicians that they won't attack them on social media in return - a bit like a protection racket.

When the money is given, someone has to make up some kind of story to justify it. But because no civil servant understands engineering, and the environmentalists don't care, you end up with this kind of tripe.

In a decent world this would be called out. But people are nowadays too scared to do anything about it...