back to article Robber loses heist case after 'evil twin' defence, gets 60 years

A robber who attempted to use the defence of blaming his "evil twin" has failed to convince a jury, and has been sentenced this week to more than 60 years in prison. Steven Felton, from Pennsylvania, was sentenced on Monday for 10 heists, which occurred during 2012. He was described as fleeing the crime scenes on a bicycle, …

  1. SuccessCase

    I thought the evil twin defence is a defence used by actual twins, where it is not possible to prove which twin committed the crime. Someone needs to tell this guy he actually, you know, needs to be a twin. His self representation at trial sounded hilarious. At various times, in the style of Peter from Family Guy, blurting out nonsensical made-up-on-the-spot objections. "Unfair prejudice", he shouted out at one point, and "Freedom of speech,"

    Too much watching of The Good Wife, or not enough, can't figure out which. Genius,... pure comedy genius.

    1. John H Woods Silver badge

      "I thought the evil twin defence is a defence used by actual twins, where it is not possible to prove which twin committed the crime" -- SuccessCase

      For identical twins, even though the DNA is the same, some other factors (e.g. fingerprints) are different.

      1. Adam Trickett
        Boffin

        Not technically identical...

        Even identical twins don't have identical DNA. During development there is a lot of random rearrangement that takes place to generate the genetic diversity required for the immune system, so even individuals that start out with identical DNA are born with different DNA.

        However for all practical purposes this isn't something that could be used in a legal case as it's a very specialised difference.

        1. John H Woods Silver badge

          Re: Not technically identical...

          "[a] Even identical twins don't have identical DNA ... [b] there is a lot of random rearrangement ... [c] this isn't something that could be used in a legal case as it's a very specialised difference." -- Adam Trickett

          [a] Yes, but for most practical (i.e. forensic) purposes it is, if not actually impossible, difficult to distinguish using the standard routine procedures -- unlike the fingerprints;

          [b] I would dispute your use of 'a lot' --- you could detect copy number variants; possibly some epigenetic changes; possibly some age-related changes (more success likely with older twins) but it's likely you'd need more detailed tests than a standard 'genetic fingerprint';

          [c] if it were important enough to genetically distinguish between 'identical' twins it would be possible; but if there was decent fingerprint evidence you wouldn't have to bother ... which was kind of my point.

          1. JakeMS

            Re: Not technically identical...

            While there are ways to determine which twin did something if you have their fingerprints or DNA at the scene.. you're still pretty stuffed if the only evidence you have is CCTV footage, as with only this you cannot prove which twin did it even if the face is clearly visible and identifiable.

            Good luck trying to prove which twin did something based on CCTV footage alone. You can bet your bottom dollar both will be saying "It wasn't me, it was the other one!"

            Unless one buckles and admits to the crime you cannot prosecute them as you have no real way of proving it. But then what's to say the "evil twin" didn't blackmail the "good twin" into confessing to a crime they didn't commit? ;-)

        2. John Tserkezis

          Re: Not technically identical...

          "During development there is a lot of random rearrangement that takes place to..."

          Wow. There's a phrase I never thought could apply to multiple fields....

        3. Stuart21551

          Re: Not technically identical...

          'However for all practical purposes this isn't something that could be used in a legal case as it's a very specialised difference.'

          Why not? Sound like just the ticket! Provided it could be duplicated, double blind, etc etc - ??

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Not my idea of fun

      "Genius,... pure comedy genius"

      Only if you enjoy watching someone flush their life down the toilet.

      Can't help but wonder if the robberies would ever have occurred if the US had functional mental healthcare and social security.

      America, where you have the freedom to spiral into the gutter without any support

      /Glum

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Not my idea of fun

        I tire of overly sensitive simpering sycophants who "cry real tears" for the frigging criminals and their ever widening sphincters. Too bad you show no empathy for the victims of criminals but your type never does.

        You have the freedom here to hoist yourself on your own petard. You also have the freedom to "spiral into the gutter" or to pull yourself up by the bootstraps and become a successful person.

        What we DON'T have here is cradle to grave support for people. They have to support themselves. Let me know whether you can tell the difference between long term drug use and mental illness. Even the "professionals" struggle with that one. The fact remains that this person made a choice TEN TIMES to rob a bank with a gun and THAT prevents his mental health defense.

        Too bad, so glad..... now the dozens of this guys victims can sleep sound in the knowledge that he is off the street and behind bars for 60 years.

        1. Fibbles
          Headmaster

          Re: Not my idea of fun

          Hoist with or by your own petard.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Not my idea of fun

            Okie dokie then blown up by your own bomb but you got the gist of what I was saying.

            Besides the overwhelming need you have to correct others you haven't had a good crap in a while, have you?

        2. Glenturret Single Malt

          Re: Not my idea of fun

          Yet another who appears to be misled by the verb "hoist" in the phrase "hoist with one's own petard". A petard is (according to Chambers Dictionary) a case containing explosive used for example for blowing in doors.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Not completely mad

    I have known several not-even-related twins, people who are identical to fairly close inspection, but have no biological connection.

    Isnt there a saying "everyone has an identical twin out there somewhere" ??

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Not completely mad

      I think the term is doppelgänger and yes everyone has an evil twin, mine keeps buying bacon and putting it in my fridge, honest guv.

      1. Allan George Dyer

        Right and Wrong? Re: Not completely mad

        "everyone has an evil twin, mine keeps buying bacon and putting it in my fridge"

        You have a warped sense of right and wrong. Obviously, he's the good one.

        1. DJV Silver badge

          Bacon

          The evil one is the one that shags it!

          #piggate

      2. cosymart

        Re: Not completely mad

        Yes I have one like that, keeps drinking my beer :-(

    2. chivo243 Silver badge

      Re: Not completely mad

      I've met not one but two! One guys sister thought I was him the first time I met her. I walked into the fitness center she worked the front desk at, and she said "why are you here?" Funnier yet, me and the two doppelgängers have the same first name.

      Now I wonder which of us is evilest?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Joke

        Re: Not completely mad

        "Now I wonder which of us is evilest?"

        The one that tried to get off with the receptionist of course (yes think about that one).

      2. Stuart21551

        Re: Not completely mad

        'Now I wonder which of us is evilest?'

        Which one reads The Reg?

  3. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. dogged
      Meh

      Re: Sixty years sounds about right...

      because rape is funny when it's men.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Sixty years sounds about right...

        Oh i dont know, watching Peter Sutcliife to name but one getting roggered up the arse with a cactus would amuse me greatly..

        But then i live in an eye for an eye world. Not the left wing liberal crap being spouted by some on here.

        Oh rehabilitate him, he'll be a better citizen, give them rights and pay them for their crimes against society. No, fuck off. Execute/deport (dont care) them and spend the money on something better.

        1. dogged

          Re: Sixty years sounds about right...

          > But then i live in an eye for an eye world. Not the left wing liberal crap being spouted by some on here.

          I live in a world where Stefan Kiszko did 16 years on Lifer's Row because he was a bit simple and the Plod wanted a quick conviction. I live in a world where the police and the government are not shining examples of truth and probity and many laws are unjust and stupid (but enforced anyway). I live in a world where some kids decided a Sikh man in Bristol was a paedophile, rumours got around and the police refused to protect him. He was murdered by his eye-for-an-eye neighbours when he had done nothing.

          My views are based on understanding that all systems are flawed. Yours are clearly not and therefore, they are wrong.

        2. Phil W

          Re: Sixty years sounds about right...

          "But then i live in an eye for an eye world."

          "Execute/deport (dont care) them"

          I think you have a misunderstanding of what "eye for an eye" means if you think execution is an equal punishment to deportation and an appropriate punishment for robbery.

          Besides, based on the events of the trial, the guy is clearly mentally ill. Are you suggesting that executing people who commit crimes due to mental illness is the way to go?

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Sixty years sounds about right...

            Everything dies. Whether it commits serious crimes or not.

            Get fucking used to it.

        3. JLV

          Re: Sixty years sounds about right...

          I live in a world where sending someone to jail for 60 years for robbery (using a pellet gun) is a massive waste of taxpayer money. Hard to find folks as thick as you.

          1. Phil W

            Re: Sixty years sounds about right...

            "Hard to find folks as thick as you."

            If by "thick" you mean "find it morally reprehensible to use the death penalty, especially for anything other murder or seriously violent crime" then actually no it's not hard to find people as "thick" as me, there's millions or even billions of us.

            I do agree with you though that long jail sentences are a waste of taxpayers money. I also think that plain old incarceration in a lot of cases is pointless, as is calling a prison a "correctional facility" when it is does nothing to correct the behaviour. Hell, putting them into labour camps doing something productive for half the time they would have been in jail would probably work out far better all around.

            People commit crimes for a reason, sure in some cases a custodial sentence may be a useful punishment/deterrent, but fundamentally what needs to be done is to identify why they committed the crime and try to do something to correct that through education, or some form of training to adjust their attitude, psychological therapy etc. It would work out for cheaper than keeping them locked up twiddling their thumbs for decades.

            Rather than locking someone up for stupid lengths of time (sentencing someone to more time than they could possibly live for as sometimes happens, wtf?) we should solve the problem, and try to make them into better people who are useful to society.

            1. JLV

              Re: Sixty years sounds about right...

              Hmm, Phil, "thick" means stupid and my remark was addressed at cornz 1. I think you and I are broadly in agreement that the death penalty is not the answer. And that 60 years for robbery with a non-lethal weapon is over the top and well into 'revenge', rather than 'justice' range.

              To which I'll also add that, with all the spending on automatic appeals for folks on death row, the death penalty is hardly a way to "spend money on something better". Or maybe cornz1 thinks death row appeals should also be dropped as well?

              1. Phil W

                Re: Sixty years sounds about right...

                Ah I see apologies it appeared as though the thick comment was aimed at me! I hereby sentence myself to 6 million years in prison for misunderstanding.

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Sixty years sounds about right...

            Thick? With a recorded IQ of 136, I don't qualify for "thick".

            Let me tell you something. Lions (me) don't lose sleep over the opinion of sheep (you).

        4. Dan Paul

          Re: Sixty years sounds about right...

          EXACTLY, he got what he deserved. Frankly, your comment about "Execute/deport (don't care) them and spend the money on something better" echoes my own sentiments about convicted criminals.

          These days, the do gooders and lawyers get too many guilty people off and they revert the second they are freed. Once you go through a modern day trial and are convicted it's pretty sure you're guilty.

          1. dogged

            @Dan Paul

            > Once you go through a modern day trial and are convicted it's pretty sure you're guilty.

            Yeah, that kid who sent a nude selfie to this girl and then she sent it to all her friends and now he's on the sex offender's register without even a trial, he's so guilty of making child pornography. Clearly.

            And the thing is, he is guilty but the law is stupid and wrong. So given that there are people screaming for child pornographers to be executed, he should be killed, right? After being anally raped in prison, of course.

            It's not about guilty/not guilty. All systems are flawed.

            And don't say "well, that's clearly an edge case" because if your system is going to kill people, there can be no edge cases. There can be no blurring of lines and no shades of grey. Everyone, by your system, must be innocent or dead. You need a perfect system and absolute knowledge to create a legal structure of the type you say you want, or you just have Stalin and the gulags.

            Stalin may be what you want, of course. But I bet it won't be when they come for you.

            1. Dan Paul

              Re: @Dan Paul @dogged

              But see those automatic one strike laws that cause aberrations like the example you gave, are all because of people like you, the mouthy PC minority.

              You and your compatriots "think of the children" mindset and rabble rousing causes legislators to enact feel good legislation (so they can be re-elected) that pressures politicians to support them and results in mandatory sentencing guidelines that do not allow a judge (in the USA) to use his or her own judgment in the sentencing phase of a trial.

              I'm quite well aware that the case you mention was a bad ruling. It was out of the judges hands. However, the 10 strike bank robber got exactly what he deserved.

              You probably would be the first to say that Officer Wilson didn't have a justifiable reason to shoot Michael Brown when two grand juries acquitted Wilson (One State, one Federal). You probably whine about Mumia Abu-Jamal too.

              Screw the PC police, if you commit a crime then be ready to pay the price for your deeds. Compassion for convicted criminals is useless and foolish. They have none for everyday folks and deserve none in return.

  4. bailey86

    Any compassion?

    Sixty years? For someone who is clearly not all there. For threatening with a pellet gun, in a country full of guns?

    Sixty years in a brutal US Gulag? Really?

    1. JohnnyGStrings

      Re: Any compassion?

      That was my thought when I read this, the guy is clearly mentally ill :(

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Any compassion?

        I wonder how bad it would be if his actual evil twin performs another robbery in the next couple of years... Proving he wasn't lying, just strange. LifeTime would have an awesome TV movie on their hands.

    2. Mark 85

      Re: Any compassion?

      If it were for one count (one crime per count), you're probably right. But he did it 10 times which means he basically gets 10 times the sentence for one crime. Harsh? Probably not as in the words of the police, he wasn't about to stop until they stopped him. Also, there's not just one victim, there's 10. Each of those businesses had to deal with the trauma and all that follows with losses not just of money but also those were working and confronted by him.

      Until you've been mugged or robbed you won't understand the scars that can leave.

      1. Jagged

        Re: Any compassion?

        "If it were for one count (one crime per count), you're probably right. But he did it 10 times which means he basically gets 10 times the sentence for one crime. "

        - I think the point is not the sentencing regime but that fact that he is clearly delusional, mentally unstable and in need of medical help.

        1. Ben Liddicott

          Re: Any compassion?

          "I think the point is not the sentencing regime but that fact that he is clearly delusional, mentally unstable and in need of medical help."

          And therefore a dangerous person the public needs protection from.

          When "lack of self control", "lack of empathy" and "delusions of grandiosity" are mental illnesses, it's clear that "mentally ill" cannot mean "not to be held responsible for his actions".

          The legal standard for insanity is: Are you incapable of understanding that what you did was a crime, or are you incapable of controlling yourself. If yes to either question, it's life in a mental institution, so it's not a defence to be chosen lightly.

          1. Jagged

            Re: Any compassion?

            "And therefore a dangerous person the public needs protection from."

            - does America not have medical institutions that can do that?

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Any compassion? How about some for the VICTIMS?

              NO, we don't have "medical institutions" to do that. Honestly, why do you in particular, feel the need to comment when you haven't got a frikking clue about the US?

              We have had a 50 year problem with mental health in this country because they gutted those "institutions" years ago when they found all manner of abuse. In their infinite wisdom, they closed most of the facilities instead of fixing the problem. There is no mental hospital to lock those people up anymore. The minute they appear lucid (usually because they are doped up), they are back on the streets.

              Now, "mental health" is all about how many drugs they can give you instead of long term therapy.

              So we have a plethora of ticking human time bombs who explode when they go off their meds and do things like push people into the path of speeding subway trains or go on shooting rampages or other heinous crimes.

              The only permanent incarceration left is in prison. This guy is a "three strikes" felon and used a "gun" (of ANY kind) in the commission of a felony. That shows intent which usually prevents a mental illness defense. That string of felonies automatically warrants a long stay in prison and he deserves it and everything that comes from it. (These laws were voted in by almost all lawmakers)

              Seems NONE of you have any compassion for the VICTIMS of crime, only the CRIMINALS. Since he is locked up for 60 years, the victims feel less fear he will come back and get retribution.

              1. Mark 85

                Re: Any compassion? How about some for the VICTIMS?

                I note the downvotes for AC and myself explaining the American system and the laws. AC is right about what happened. The "rights" of the mentally ill became one of the rallying points back in the day. Ronnie Raygun's administration was involved in dumping them on the street since the pressure was there.

                We used to have mental institutions but public opinion was swayed by such things at the movie "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest". And there were several lawsuits and incidents within these institutions.

                Like it or not, it's the way it is. We average "Joes" can't change the system without a major shitstorm happening but we're all paying for this problem with much of the violence happening because mental illness is a "protected disability" according to the law which has much to do with feel gooders and little to do with actual protection. I won't digress here into how the ADA should be fixed to actually help.

      2. This post has been deleted by its author

      3. anonymous boring coward Silver badge

        Re: Any compassion?

        US justice still doesn't make sense.

        If he had held up, at a single time, 10 times the people and got 10 times the money, he still wouldn't get 60 years from that single larger crime.

      4. Charles Manning

        Ten victims

        Imprisonment is not supposed to be society having its revenge. It is supposed to be punitive, as well as corrective.

        If he did 5 robberies or 50, he should still be held as a serial robber, but since this bloke is a few bites short of a sandwich, surely he should be treated a bit more like a mental patient than a crim?

        I've been robbed and mugged and been what have you (thanks to living in South Africa for 30 years). Yes, I want scum locked up, but just taking revenge has no useful purpose.

        1. JLV

          Re: Ten victims

          >taking revenge has no useful purpose.

          not true. The position of Prosecutor is often a stepping stone to launch a US political career.

          Honestly, there are some crimes here in Canada where punishment should be a bit harsher. Murder, rape, high end white collar (a $1m+ gain type of crime needs to deterred against). I don't see a good case for less than 8-10 years actual time for murder. Someone who serially gets convicted (ie multiple times in front of a judge) should also be assessed to see if it's not just cheaper to keep them locked up for longer periods. Thinking petty B&E, 50-60 times.

          Short of those there has been little evidence to date that high incarceration rates result in much lower crime rates. Not least because a nice harsh prison stay tends to harden criminals and make reinsertion difficult. Try to keep room in prisons for those who really deserve it. I know this sucks to victims, but two wrongs don't make a right and society doesn't have unlimited resources, nor gets very good results from extreme tough on crime attitudes. Operate by results, not by selective reading of the Old Testament while ignoring the New.

          For example, I wonder how generous the support for trauma therapy will be for the victims of this loon. I wouldn't be surprised if it was quite stingy, budgetary constraints oblige.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Ten victims (who never got any compensation, therapy or apparently compassion)

            The VICTIMS of this kind of crime never get ANYTHING.

            No therapy or compensation or special consideration. At all, ever. What about reinserting the VICTIM back into society with a case of PTSD so bad they can't work anymore.

            The only thing a victim gets (rarely) is the knowledge that the criminal is locked up for a good long time and can't come back to haunt them.

            FUCK criminals, they don't deserve any rights at all because they are no longer human beings.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Shadow Systems: "enjoy being the ''wife'' of Bruno the Buttplugger."

    I'm sure I cannot be the only one who finds it disturbing that many leftpondians seem to feel that sexual abuse by other prisoners is a normal and acceptable component of punishment.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Not at all, just don't drop the soap.

      Edit: It's why soap on a rope is so popular over here.

      1. Jedit Silver badge
        Flame

        "It's why soap on a rope is so popular over here"

        Because you have a higher percentage of your population jailed than almost any other country in the world? My goodness. And here I was thinking it was because many Americans are too fat to bend down and pick up the soap if they drop it.

        Rape jokes aren't funny. It doesn't matter who is getting raped.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: "It's why soap on a rope is so popular over here"

          "Rape is NEVER funny. Unless you're wearing clown shoes."

          -- Tom Stade

    2. Squander Two

      > I'm sure I cannot be the only one who finds it disturbing that many leftpondians seem to feel that sexual abuse by other prisoners is a normal and acceptable component of punishment.

      Some American politicians are campaigning against it now. I know National Review regard it as a national disgrace. So hopefully progress is on its way.

      Meanwhile, in the great British tradition of adopting only the worst ideas from America and never the good ones, there seems to be a growing expectation in the UK that rape is part of prison. Sad.

      1. Mike Moyle

        "Meanwhile, in the great British tradition of adopting only the worst ideas from America and never the good ones, there seems to be a growing expectation in the UK that rape is part of prison. Sad."

        It's just democratizing your public school behaviors.

        ...or "democratising your public school behaviours", if you prefer.

      2. Mark 85

        Meanwhile, in the great British tradition of adopting only the worst ideas from America and never the good ones, there seems to be a growing expectation in the UK that rape is part of prison. Sad.

        Go back in time a bit and read up on life in "prison ships" in English harbors. Particularly the one's that were for children... er... young lads.

    3. Jagged

      "I'm sure I cannot be the only one who finds it disturbing that many leftpondians seem to feel that sexual abuse by other prisoners is a normal and acceptable component of punishment."

      - Indeed. Given the American legal system's propensity for suing the arse of anyone, I am surprised we don't hear about former inmates who are now rich from the compensation they won from these prisons that failed to look after their safety.

  6. tony2heads

    No evil twin

    It's a shape-shifting X-man (woman) like Mystique

  7. Yugguy

    four hours???

    It took fours hour for someone to say "Twin??? Bollocks more like."

  8. Pascal Monett Silver badge

    "Felton acted as his own attorney during the trial"

    Statistically speaking, that is practically a guarantee of failing unless you're an actual lawyer. And with his obvious mental issues, well the resulting judgement was all but inevitable.

    1. PhilipN Silver badge

      Re: "Felton acted as his own attorney during the trial"

      Find on YouTube Conrad Black's tirade against the U.S. criminal justice system during his interview by Paxman. I take it that C.B. had done his homework, which was that legally represented or not the system is heavily weighted against any Defendant. If what he said about the statistical chance of an acquittal is true - very, very scary. Conversely it could be argued that this results from good police work and competent prosecutors, but he pretty much demolished that as a fallback. Of course he had an axe to grind but again if what he said is true ....

    2. Jeremy Puddleduck

      Re: "Felton acted as his own attorney during the trial"

      ..........and lack of an actual "twin"

  9. hi_robb

    Hello reg readers

    If you want to learn how to take part in a robbery, put your hands up...

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Get over yourselves, rape isn't funny, racism isn't funny, knocking minorities isn't funny.

    Can anyone tell me where the Music of White Origin awards is on next?

    1. dotdavid

      "Can anyone tell me where the Music of White Origin awards is on next?"

      http://www.classical-music.com/awards/winners-2015?

    2. Kubla Cant

      Get over yourselves, rape isn't funny, racism isn't funny, knocking minorities isn't funny.

      True. None of the above is intrinsically funny, but they may all be the subject of funny jokes (see clown shoes, above).

      If the El Reg forums are going to become infested by lip-pursing, "we are not amused", PC bores, then I'll be looking elsewhere for entertainment.

      1. Cynic_999

        "

        Get over yourselves, rape isn't funny, racism isn't funny, knocking minorities isn't funny.

        True. None of the above is intrinsically funny, but they may all be the subject of funny jokes (see clown shoes, above).

        If the El Reg forums are going to become infested by lip-pursing, "we are not amused", PC bores, then I'll be looking elsewhere for entertainment.

        "

        The thing that was getting people upset was *not* that rape was the subject of a joke, but that some people appear to believe that raping a prisoner is both acceptable and desirable as revenge/punishment/whatever.

  11. Anonymous John

    As any movie goer knows.

    At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

  12. ma1010
    WTF?

    It happens

    For several years I lived in a small town of about 10,000 people. In that town there was a guy who looked amazingly like me and even rode the same motorcycle make and model I did (which was *not* a really common bike). People had told me about him, but I didn't really believe them. Then I saw him one day and was amazed. It's a creepy feeling like some sort of low-rent out-of-body experience, the feeling that you're looking at yourself from a distance. It got creepier when I heard he was a part time drug dealer. I was afraid the cops would get him confused with me and put me in jail for his crimes. Fortunately that never happened.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: It happens

      Years ago I used to commute between Bristol (UK) and Dublin (RoI) on a weekly basis. At the time, Special Branch were still running security checks prior to boarding. Every week at the Bristol side, I would be pulled out of line and interrogated for 15 minutes. Every week. For six months. For at least three months of that, it was the same two Special Branch officers on duty. They knew exactly who I was, where I worked, where I was going but they yanked me out of line anyway and gave me the third degree every week, without fail.

      A year or so later when living in Dublin full time, a friend who was a Gard offered me a chance to look at The Book. The Book is full of photographs of wanted people, people who rob banks to pay for guns, people who kill people, people who make bombs. One face in particular had done all of these things and I swear, I thought it was a photo of me. I do have family in Northern Ireland, it's possible that the face is a relation of some kind.

      So I stopped being quite so angry about it all.

      Although the short description underneath the photo did say he was 5'8" tall. I am 6'4" tall. I dunno how they explained that one away to themselves.

      1. graeme leggett Silver badge

        Re: It happens

        Cuban heels?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: It happens

          8" Cuban heels are technically stilts, I think.

    2. John H Woods Silver badge

      Re: It happens

      "I was afraid the cops would get him confused with me and put me in jail for his crimes" -- ma1010

      You're lucky. I look like bloody Anders Breivik.

  13. 2Fat2Bald

    Twins?

    I've been told i have an identical twin in (or near) the town in which I was born. I've often wondered if it's just random chance that they resemble me, or if I have a relative I know nothing about?

    To be honest. When people go for the insanity defence, i'm never sure if they're actualy insane or just trying it on. To be honest you could medicalise being an arsehole to the point where that becomes a "medical condition", and suddenly isn't your fault any more

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