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back to article Viper sinks fangs into unwary Indian farmer's todger

Indian doctors have published the eye-watering account of a farmer who was bitten on the penis "while he was urinating in an open field". The unnamed 46-year-old hobbled to accident and emergency three hours after taking a hit from a "gunas", the local name for the Levantine viper (Macrovipera lebetina). The Levantine viper. …

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  1. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge
    IT Angle

    The snake probably thought...

    ...that the man's trouser snake was a rival snake.

    4 0 Reply
    1. Voland's right hand Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: The snake probably thought...

      Neah, that's gyurza.

      It is vile, bad tempered snake which will not sliver away like most other snakes at the sight of a human. It will stand its ground and it will often attack with little or no prior warning. It is also highly venomous - the only reason this man is alive is the anti-venom.

      2 1 Reply
  2. Phil Kingston

    Vicious vexed viper victorious in vocal virile victim's vein violation!

    24 0 Reply
  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Tips and corrections

    Thought the snake.

    3 0 Reply
  4. Bloodbeastterror

    "Vicious vexed viper..."

    Nice one. You're wasted here. Get over to the Sun double-quick.

    1 0 Reply
    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      ...or script consultant if there's ever a sequel to "V for Vendetta" lol

      3 0 Reply
  5. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

    OUCH!!!

    I am sure I am not the only male reading this who instinctively drew his legs together protectively.

    5 0 Reply
    1. Triggerfish
      Reply Icon

      Re: OUCH!!!

      Hell follow the link and feel your whole body clench internally.

      1 0 Reply
  6. Robert Helpmann??
    Childcatcher

    Good Timing

    It seems that at least one common polyvalent anti-venom (FAV-Afrique) might be in short supply soon. The next fellow... it makes me wince to contemplate it... might not be so "lucky."

    1 0 Reply
  7. Sequin

    The victim asked the doctors if they could take away the pain, but leave the swelling

    8 0 Reply
  8. Your alien overlord - fear me

    Now if this was Australia, the viper would have said ' you call that a snake? Now this is a snake'

    4 0 Reply
  9. Medixstiff

    I wonder if it too him three hours to get to the hospital, because he was too busy asking everyone if they could suck the poison out?

    7 1 Reply
  10. MarkB

    May not be totally misadventure

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-india-34173532 - workers on tea estates might not have much choice where they relieve themselves. Quote - "Many families have no toilets and say they have no choice but to defecate amongst the tea bushes."

    1 0 Reply
  11. Fraggle850

    Milder hazards in England

    When caught short in the countryside I once managed to locate an electric fence via a similar method. Apparently an uninterrupted micturial stream is an excellent conductor.

    6 0 Reply
    1. hplasm
      Reply Icon
      Happy

      Re: Milder hazards in England

      You must have missed the educational video...

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wW6rENTfaU

      1 0 Reply
      1. Fraggle850
        Reply Icon

        Re: Milder hazards in England

        Wouldn't have helped, I'm a greybeard who had to learn his lessons the hard way in a pre-YouTube world, cue 'when I were a lad...'-style discussion of how the youth of today have it easy.

        2 0 Reply
    2. Spanners Silver badge
      Reply Icon
      Alert

      Re: Milder hazards in England

      I remember someone doing that in the OTC.

      An acceptable military radio usage for the male member is the "One Percent".

      1 0 Reply
  12. We're with Steve

    NSFW - oglaf.com

    (very) NSFW

    http://oglaf.com/trousersnake/

    1 0 Reply
  13. Ru'

    Is it just me, or does this sound like the fabled ER room excuse of "I was vacuuming naked, and I slipped and just happened to get stuck in the hose, doctor..." No idea what I think actually went on though, that's probably between the man and the snake.

    1 1 Reply
    1. Mark 85
      Reply Icon

      More like the old joke about two guys hunting and one gets bit by a snake on his todger. After the friend gets to a phone and calls the doctor, who's advice is "suck out the poison", he comes back and the bitten one asks "what did the doctor say?"... answered with "you're going to die".

      0 0 Reply
  14. Triggerfish

    I once walked barefoot

    into a toilet and had a gient centipede walk right over my foot, almost didn't need the toilet after that. Peeing while holding a stick to defend yourself with is not funny.

    I also have a picture of a bird eating spider that covers a large floor tile that used to live in the bathroom at another place it used to sit right above the cistern and it was a waist height cistern.

    0 0 Reply
  15. zen1

    ok... wow. and to echo the life experience shared by a previous poster, hitting an electric fence may have hurt then, but comparatively speaking, I'd take that in a heart beat over what this gentleman suffered.

    Hell he's lucky he survived, but had that been me, I would have probably preferred death to the amount of absolute abuse of being a punch line for the rest of my life.

    0 0 Reply
  16. howsmiff

    Read in an australian accent !!!

    Can you take away the pain & leave the swellin'????

    0 0 Reply
  17. Glenturret Single Malt

    Caption competition

    Is that the same snake last seen reclining on the keyboard of a laptop?

    0 0 Reply
  18. WereWoof

    This is what happens when you piss off a snake, or should that be on?

    1 0 Reply

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