back to article Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Fancy a ham and cheese 'dry tree trunk' sarnie?

We have no idea how it happened, but during a recent review of our previous post-pub nosh neckfillers, we realised that not since our crack culinary team constructed the fantastical and frankly mind-boggling Portuguese Francesinha in December last year, has one dish featured a nice bit of steak. This simply won't do, so for …

  1. graeme leggett Silver badge

    There's 'rare' and there's 'still twitching'. Your photo looks closer to the latter.

    Personally I don't think beef has interesting flavour until brown all the way through. The downside being they might put "Maillard Reaction" down under cause of death on a certificate one day.

    1. theModge

      blow it's nose and wipe it's ar$e is the correct way to cook steak. Certainly a good vet should be able to get it back in the field.

    2. Yugguy

      You've never had proper steak then.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        I'm sick of food snobs trying to tell me how to eat my food. The best way to cook a steak or any food for that matter is how you like it done.

        1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

          People should eat steak any way they like

          My preference depends very much on the quality. Generally I go for rare (and I do not mean the "rare" I sometimes get in the UK, which is more like medium, I mean rare as in "saignant" in France), and in the best cases I will even have it "bleu" as the French say (very, very rare).

          That however is purely my taste. If a guest at my house wants his steak well done, or medium, I just leave them in the pan a bit longer, while the juices settle in my own.

          Back to cachopo: really interesting "Cordon Bleu on steroids"

          Darn, I am hungry now

          1. theModge

            Re: People should eat steak any way they like

            To be fair, I entirely agree, there is certainly room for preference here. It's more a generalised terror of pink meat that I take issue with.

  2. gregthecanuck

    Om nom-nom-nom

    Looks very tasty! Nice pictures as well.

    I'm currently on a Korean food kick at the moment. Lots of great recipes out there. My favourite Youtube channel at the moment: Maangchi Korean cooking a go-go

    Luckily I have a local H-Mart stocking all sorts of Korean goodness.

    Keep that post-pub grub bubbling!!

  3. John Presland

    Cachopo should really be made with meat that's too young to be called beef and too old to be termed veal - "ternera" in Spanish, 10-12 months' old. It should be washed down not with beer but with aerated still cider. Follow the recipe and you'll get something good, but for the real thing you'll have to come to Asturias. Easyjet from Stansted's the easiest way.

    1. graeme leggett Silver badge

      "aerated still cider"

      Apparently google is not my friend on this phrase. Would you be so good as to help me out there?

      1. Mephistro

        @ Graeme Legget

        Asturian cider has no bubbles, until it's served ("escanciada") in the proper way. This Wikipedia link explains the process, though you'll probably need to resort to Google Translate, as there's not an equivalent article in en.wikipedia.org.

        Important advice: Don't try to do this yourself unless you're wearing rubber boots. ;-)

      2. tfewster
        Pint

        Search for "asturian cider".

        About 30 years ago, I figured out that the object of the "long pour" method of aerating the cider was to miss as much as possible, so there was less of the nasty stuff to drink. Pouring over your shoulder into a glass held behind your back looks even cooler, and achieves that goal even better. Unless, of course, you're playing drinking games where you pour for each other...

        1. Mephistro

          @ tfewster

          "...so there was less of the nasty stuff to drink."

          Not nasty at all!. Served right and at the right temperature it's delicious. It took me a bit (a bottle or two ;-) to get used to the taste, but after that, I'd choose Asturian cider over any other kind of cider.

          1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
            Pint

            Re: @ tfewster

            I will comment on the quality of Asturian cider when I have had a statistically significant sample of it.

    2. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

      Was looking good until...

      You mentioned Stanstead and EasyJet.

      I'd love to go to that part of Spain (extramadura is my fav though) but the thought of spending at least twice the length of the flight just getting to Stanstead (A303,M3,M25 & M11) just sort of makes it pointless.

      Then there is EasyJet. The only airline in existence that could lose my bag during the flight. Saw it go in the hold. It never came out. Wot! Should have not checked it in the first place? Ok, try hand carrying 2 weeks worth of winter clothes.

      1. Carl W

        Re: Was looking good until...

        Stansted has an airport. Stanstead (near Ware) does not. But it does have a level crossing in the high street.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      @John Presland

      >Easyjet from Stansted's the easiest way.

      Sounds like a long way round from Madrid, even more so from my summer residence in the north of Spain.

  4. chivo243 Silver badge
    Pint

    Variation on a theme?

    Resembles chicken fried steak without the gravy! Good eatin'!

  5. Bluto Nash
    Coat

    Cordon Moo?

    As above.

    Mine's the coat with the bread crumbs in the pocket.

  6. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Alien

    Nitromethane for humans

    Why did homo spanienssapiens invent complex ways to mash together high-calorie protein-fat-merge foodstuff into a portable unit via application of denaturating heat and torture devices like meat hammers?

    I must try that.

  7. Death Boffin
    Flame

    Rare?

    Judging by the picture, in most of the Midwest and Texas, that there steak would be somewhere between medium rare and medium, bordering on becoming beef jerky.

  8. Dwarf
    Pint

    Rare Bacon ?

    Given that the bacon is in between the two nice, rare pieces of steak, how does it get cooked - or is it cured bacon ?

    Perhaps cooking the bacon first then inserting it will be better. This probably provides just enough heat to the steak too. I'm with the really rare school on steak.

    We need a red wine icon to go with the lovely slab of blood dead cow.

    1. Richard 12 Silver badge

      Re: Rare Bacon ?

      Looks cured to me.

      Also, this is the first one I've decided to make at home. Looks great!

    2. Vincent Ballard
      Coat

      Re: Rare Bacon ?

      Jamón serrano is cured, yes. Although crispy bacon would be worth trying as a substitute.

      Health-and-safety-conscious people might want to sear the inside of the steak before assembling: typically the idea with rare steak is to cook it just enough to kill the bacteria on the cut surface.

    3. jake Silver badge

      Re: Rare Bacon?

      Properly cured bacon doesn't require cooking. (Back bacon, streaky bacon, and indeed Jamón (which isn't really bacon ... think Prosciutto ... the south end of a hog heading north).

      Here at the ranch, I sometimes put a bunch of salt (Mostly Diamond Crystal, and hint of curing salt (other flavo(u)rings to your taste if you like) on a pork belly, wrap it well in food service film, and stash it in the back of the 'fridge for ten or 12 days. Edible as-is on retrieval. Better after 6 hours of smoke at about 140 degrees (I prefer dry Apple & green Manzanita for smoke). Smoked or not, if you're squeamish about perfectly safe preserved food, cut thin, sear both sides and serve as streaky bacon ... or cut thick & deep or shallow fry at 375 degrees F until GB&D.

      1. Steve Evans

        Re: Rare Bacon?

        That bacon doesn't look anywhere near enough...

        I think you need some nice thick cut man bacon, this foreign living is making you soft!

        1. x 7

          Re: Rare Bacon?

          "man bacon"

          does that come from long pigs?

          1. x 7

            Re: Rare Bacon?

            and at least you didn't suggest "man cheese"......

          2. Steve Evans

            Re: Rare Bacon?

            I knew that sounded a bit wrong almost before I hit submit!

            But hey, it was worth it for the giggle.

  9. x 7

    not a good idea after the pub......I defy anyone to grate breadcrumbs while pissed without removing their fingertips

    and who has enough dry stale bread lying around to cover a steak anyway?

    1. Robert Helpmann??
      Childcatcher

      Grated Breadcrumbs

      I defy anyone to grate breadcrumbs while pissed without removing their fingertips

      Alternatively, you can run hardened bread over with a rolling pin or toss it into a food processor and give it a couple of pulses (which still might end up with alcohol-enhanced blood being spilled). In the interest of simplicity, perhaps it would be better to use store-bought crumbs.

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: Grated Breadcrumbs

        "store-bought crumbs."

        Never. They are always completely stale (as opposed to dry), and very narsty.

        1. Robert Helpmann??
          Childcatcher

          Re: Grated Breadcrumbs

          They are always completely stale...

          Jake, as with many things, YMMV, but I have had pretty good luck with those produced by a bakery housed inside a local grocery store. They make breadcrumbs from their bread which did not sell the day before. They also make these lovely cream puff swans, but I digress...

  10. ZootCadillac

    clearly none of that meat is cooked. Which is fine if you like it so but I'm guessing you would want to pan sear the meat construction prior to adding your crust. You simply can not cook that meat to a state that is considered acceptable by the food standards agency without burning your breadcrumb coating.

    And also, you just recycled the Findus crispy pancake.

    1. jake Silver badge

      "clearly none of that meat is cooked"

      Properly raised meat doesn't actually need cooking.

      "acceptable by the food standards agency"

      Oh. You've been raised by teh gubment. I feel so sorry for you.

      1. ZootCadillac

        Re: "clearly none of that meat is cooked"

        No, I've cooked food for paying customers. There are rules in the UK to ensure you don't kill anyone.

        1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
          Childcatcher

          Re: "clearly none of that meat is cooked"

          There are rules in the UK to ensure you don't kill anyone.

          How does that work then? Seriously...

          Related: Drop That Snack! L.A.'s long war against working-class people eating tamales, tacos, Cheetos, and other tasty food

          1. ZootCadillac

            Re: "clearly none of that meat is cooked"

            It's only in relation to serving food on a professional or commercial level. All staff must do courses and become certified in at least basic food hygiene. The food standards agency will perform regular checks to make sure you comply with and maintain standards. They have the power to close any establishment in an instant if there is a health and safety issue found. Undercooked meat would be such an issue.

            That does not mean you can't serve blue steak or tartare, you just have to ensure it is described as such and the customer understands what they are getting.

            https://www.food.gov.uk/business-industry/caterers/sfbb/sfbbcaterers

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      And also, you just recycled the Findus crispy pancake.

      Oh, please no. I have an unpleasant childhood memory of recycling Findus cripsy pancackes in a deeply personal way. It was years before I could face smoked haddock again.

  11. Tim Worstal

    The Czech option*

    OK, they wouldn't make it with beef, but with any variant of pork, veal or chicken.....is to then stick the breadcrumbed meaty goodness between two slices of bread perhaps with a bit of mustard.

    Seriously helps soak up that Pilsner....

    *Back in the early 90s, when people could first travel freely, it was said to be one of the sure fire markers of Czechs on the move. They'd be the ones in Croatia or wherever, packets of various schnitzels brought from home, only willing to buy the fresh bread to slap them between.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: The Czech option*

      "packets of various schnitzels"

      "Packets"?

      Uh ... that doesn't work when it comes to schnitzel.

      1. Tim Worstal

        Re: The Czech option*

        Make schnitzel, cool, stick in tupperware. Packet of schnitzels.

        Seen it done....eaten it actually.....

        1. jake Silver badge

          @ Tim Worstal (was: Re: The Czech option*)

          Breaded fried food saved in plastic for later? That's just appalling.

          Fried food needs to be eaten hot ... Please tell me you don't put two fish & chips (and scraps) with mushy peas into tupperware just after the pubs close, in order to have lunch the next day?

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Campylobacter in a crust?

    It doesn't matter how bloody you like your steak on the inside, ALL raw meat needs to be cooked on the outside. Because of its construction, this dish is only safe to eat if the temperature at the centre reaches at least 2.8°Hilton (or 48°C for those still using primitive SI units).

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: Campylobacter in a crust?

      "ALL raw meat needs to be cooked on the outside."

      You are wrong. So very, very wrong. I feel sorry for you.

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
        Alien

        Re: Campylobacter in a crust?

        I like to briefly put it next to my Cobalt 60 storage area for a minute or two, myself.

  13. jake Silver badge

    That's not a "steak".

    "Steak" is at least an inch thick. That is uncooked lunchmeat.

    Not that that is a bad thing, mind ;-)

  14. Infernoz Bronze badge
    WTF?

    Why do people like to stay ignorant and keep poisoning themselves?

    Yay, lets further rot our bodies with Acrylamide from useless high-GI carbs, Nitrosamine from nitrate 'cured' Bacon, and TFAs etc. from unstable heat extracted and further heated vegetable oil. Yes, these will contribute to Heart Disease.

    The only good parts are the Steak and the Cheese, despite what idiot doctors said about animal fats and Cholesterol, and has now been admitted!

    1. x 7

      Re: Why do people like to stay ignorant and keep poisoning themselves?

      but the steak has to be crispy-fried to kill the bugs, and the cheese pasteurised for the same reason

    2. Graham Dawson Silver badge

      Re: Why do people like to stay ignorant and keep poisoning themselves?

      Don't worry, they'll swap it all around again in another six months.

  15. Finnish Anonymous Coward

    I'm somewhat disappointed not yet having seen a recipe for tartiflette in this series. Could the Special/Secret Operations Bureau think of considering of might adding it to their plate?

    1. Mark 85

      Tatiflette?

      I had to find a recipe.. http://www.foodandwine.com/recipes/tartiflette It sounds yummy... and as the link says: "Here’s more evidence that you can never have too much cheese, bacon, or starch.".

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

        Re: Tatiflette?

        Poke an MP5 in their face for that dangerous egg and the carb part!

  16. Mark 85

    "Foods Standard Agency" & "Rotting our bodies" Comments?

    Sheesh.... this about a post pub-nosh. Not about anything else like government standards or unhealthy eating... .

    Occasional doses of carbs, fats, whatever else is cooked up aren't going to kill anyone. The alcohol will do more damage in the long run.

    As for the "food standards agency"... this is home cooking, not commercial. Beside, ever had Steak Tartare?

    Let's just enjoy the food... It's one the few pleasures in life that don't involve politics or corporate cultures. If you don't like something, make something else.

    1. x 7

      Re: "Foods Standard Agency" & "Rotting our bodies" Comments?

      "ever had Steak Tartare?"

      yes, once, in France

      got food poisoning

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

        Re: "Foods Standard Agency" & "Rotting our bodies" Comments?

        Never trust continental steak tartare.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    At last, a neck filler I've tried

    I was in a bar in Lastres about a month ago and saw cachopo on the menu. I asked the waiter/barman what it was and he'd only got to jamon serrano sandwiched between two beef fillets for me to say, "that'll do for me". Until it was in front of me and opened up I was in disbelief, had I heard right? Yes I had, and it was heavenyl. Definitely filling.

  18. Sir Sham Cad

    Made this one last night

    Looking again at the size of the steak in the pictures in the article and the ones I used last night, I think I may have seriously gone overboard. Took up a whole plate in length and was a good 0.4 linguine thick. I don't have a meat hammer so fists did the job instead (always wash hands after handling raw meat, friends) and I had to use a different dry cured ham.

    I used blue cheese for added naughtiness and I have to say it was bloody fantastic.

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: Made this one last night

      Excellent work. I have to try one with the blue cheese.

      1. Sporkinum

        Re: Made this one last night

        Blue cheese with it sounds great! And the pork definitely looks like prosciutto. Looks like one worth making. Thanks!

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