back to article Jeff Bezos trousers $8m Florida rocket sweetener package

Amazon supremo Jeff Bezos' space tentacle Blue Origin has been offered another eight million reasons to operate in Florida, in the form of a suitcase full of cash for the mysterious "Project Panther". According to Reuters, commissioners in Brevard County – home of NASA's Kennedy Space Center – are very keen to see Blue Origin …

  1. Ugotta B. Kiddingme

    revenue stream

    Since their vehicle looks like a "marital aid", perhaps Love Honey might buy advertising space to put their logo on the side

    1. Simon Harris

      Re: revenue stream

      So, at no point in the New Shepard design process did anybody suggest not making it look like a giant cock?

      1. Mark 85

        Re: revenue stream

        I'm curious as to what the docking station will look like... For some reason, I'm reminded of Flesh Gordon by all this.

    2. Camilla Smythe

      Re: revenue stream

      "Since their vehicle looks like a "marital aid", perhaps Love Honey might buy advertising space to put their logo on the side"

      That's a bit unfair.

      Pre-Puberty and knowledge that follows on I made something similar out of a SQUEEZY bottle half filled with water, a bike tyre valve with associated pump and some Evostick. By the time it was 'pumped up' prior to launch it looked very similar to what Jeff has implemented here.

      I also achieved 'Low Earth Mumble'.

    3. TitterYeNot
      Coat

      Re: revenue stream

      "perhaps Love Honey might buy advertising space to put their logo on the side"

      Well to be fair, "Bezo's Blue Bratwurst" could indeed be the first giant sex toy that makes good on it's claim to have enough thrust to take you to the stratosphere...

  2. MJI Silver badge

    That woudl not even pay for

    A full year of Richard Hammond.

  3. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
    Mushroom

    @ That woudl not even pay for...

    I'd pay that if you strapped Richard Hammond to the side of the rocket during it's first test flight.

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: @ That woudl not even pay for...

      Kickstarter campaign ahoy?

      1. Camilla Smythe

        Re: Kickstarter campaign ahoy?

        Have you launched your todger yet?

        Just 'Askin'.

        1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

          Re: Re: Kickstarter campaign ahoy?

          Still waiting of FAA approval to whip it out.

          1. Ugotta B. Kiddingme

            Re: Still waiting of FAA approval to whip it out

            have they given ANY sort of indication that a living/breathing person is doing anything that might in some fashion be related to reviewing your petition? I realize the wheels of government turn grind slowly but, this passed "absurd" quite some time ago.

            1. Captain DaFt

              Re: Still waiting of FAA approval to whip it out

              Almost totally useless to try this:

              https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/

              But maybe with the right publicity? (He asks on media site)

              1. MJI Silver badge

                Re: Still waiting of FAA approval to whip it out

                FAA?

                Fleet Air Arm?

                1. Anonymous Coward
                  Anonymous Coward

                  Re: Still waiting of FAA approval to whip it out

                  FAA stands for Fuck All Action.

    2. MJI Silver badge

      Re: @ That woudl not even pay for...

      It would have to be a Reliant

  4. Kharkov
    Holmes

    It could be a star investment or a real lemon...

    So Florida's throwing money around in the hopes of getting, and keeping, Blue Origin in-state. Well, if it works, and B.O. (seriously, did no-one think of a better name?) carves out a significant place for itself in the launch market then Florida will deserve kudos for their wisdom...

    And if B.O. fails to compete with already-operating SpaceX (not operating for the next three months though), fails to get market share against the soon-to-enter-service Skylon (five to six years away, remember), and/or fails to outperform ULA's new Vulcan rocket (ULA is not exactly shouting it from the rooftops, are they?) then Florida will have more than a little egg on its face.

    Which way will it go, which way will it go...?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: It could be a star investment or a real lemon...

      Well, if it works, then Florida will deserve kudos for their wisdom...

      I see no wisdom in giving $40m of taxpayers money to a man with a personal worth estimated at around $45bn. That sort of money won't alter his decision on location other than in the minds of local bureaucrats and crooked politicians spending other people's money.

      The reality is that he'll decide where's best from a technical and analytical point of view, have a couple of minions stir up a false "competition" between different states and simply trouser the winning state's bribes as extra profit.

      Life's a beach when you're already so rich you can't count how much you're worth.

  5. mIRCat
    Paris Hilton

    All penis jokes aside

    Can it be used to deliver packages any quicker?

    Okay I lied, it was another penis joke. Prime... for her pleasure.

  6. John Robson Silver badge
    Mushroom

    Pedant incoming...

    "SpaceX is currently grounded for a couple of months, following the expensive fireworks display"

    Wasn't it a firwork display (singular)?

    1. Kharkov
      Pirate

      Re: Pedant incoming...

      Well yes, but as such a big one, it was worth classifying it as a plural...

    2. Alan Brown Silver badge

      Re: Pedant incoming...

      "Wasn't it a firwork display (singular)?"

      More like a damp squib. The flamey bits which weren't intended to come out of the rocket happened quite a while after the damage had been done (which was more like a dry ice bomb than anything else) and were normal range safety charges being fired.

      It really is too bad that SpaceX hadn't setup the capsule recovery stuff "just in case" as they could have verified functionality in the best possible way.

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