back to article Pope loses grip on Antarctica: Clergy withdraw from austral landmass

The Catholic Church is abandoning Antarctica as a faithless wasteland of pr0n-guzzling irredeemables – or, as the rest of the world knows them, scientists. The US National Science Foundation has asked the New Zealand diocese of Christchurch to abandon its foothold on the continent. The withdrawal will go ahead thanks to a …

  1. Zog_but_not_the_first
    Coffee/keyboard

    "Tiny Nuns"

    {splutter}

    1. Harry the Bastard

      Re: "Tiny Nuns"

      for some reason the instant connection my brain made was to "tiny little men" by electric six, and wondering how the tiny nuns were involved in their plight

      1. g e

        Re: "Tiny Nuns"

        Hmmm, Frank Zappa's Thing Fish for me....

        Bit of a worry, that...

  2. Hollerith 1

    There's still a Russian Orthodox church there.

    A lovely wooden one, right by the Cholean base. Have visited.

  3. Little Mouse
    Boffin

    Brrrrrr

    True* fact. The ambient temperature of every church in the world is set at 15°C less than the surrounding enviroment.

    No wonder attendance is declining in Antarctica.

    1. Stuart21551

      Re: Brrrrrr

      Maybe if they could just entice Mr S Claus to relocate during their winter - seems its just a bit far from the North Pole to visit during Christmas, congregation was becoming freshly disillusioned.

  4. Kingston Black
    Coat

    Father Doyle

    Shirley no relation of Ted and Mrs D...

    The one with the mind bleach in the pocket please.

    1. Husky

      Re: Father Doyle

      I remember back in the day when girls were a novelty on the ice, and NZARP survival training was based at Tekapo army base, everyone hit the communal showers after a day in the snow at Round Hill, before a few beers in the mess. The female students from one of the uni field parties chose to go in with the Father, probably for protection from the rest of us PFYs. I think the comment afterwards was along the lines that "I thought there was something different about those chaps". Antarctica is such a huge environment that it reaches everyone's spiritual places, and Scott Base as well as McMurdo and South Pole Station have been well guided by people like Father Doyle over the decades.

      1. dan1980

        Re: Father Doyle

        "Antarctica is such a huge environment that it reaches everyone's spiritual places . . ."

        I have a well-tended pit of self-loathing and despair that I fill periodically with beer. Will that suffice?

  5. Jim 59

    Judging from the events of New Year's Eve a few years back, it's the British Antarctic survey who are in need of salvation, not the Americans.

    Strangely not on Google now, but some sort of fight broke out, resulting in broken jaws and at least one boffin being helicoptered out and then flown onwards to hospital in Argentina IIRC.

    UPDATE found it http://www.theguardian.com/world/2007/dec/27/usa.barbaramcmahon

    Was those pugilistic Americans after all, not the sturdy British chaps.

  6. CAPS LOCK

    I know what goes on, I've seen that documentary, errrm...

    ... oh yes, The Thing

  7. The_Idiot

    Ah....

    "Nowadays they just pop onto the internet, fulfilling their needs themselves."

    I see what you did there.

    1. perlcat

      Re: Ah....

      Yes, they singlehandedly got a grip on their needs.

  8. Sureo

    There are a lot of penguins in Antarctica. Perhaps they're going after the wrong population.

  9. Michael Hoffmann Silver badge

    Sad

    For years the USAP was immune to major cuts, due to "strategic presence and claims" considerations, but ever since the moronic US government shutdown that seems to have changed. Back when I worked down there it was even closer to 3,000 people (including various outer camps). Now McM must look like a ghost town.

    Never mind the decline in religious belief, what about the decline in science? Though I expect the penguins and seals are happy about the reduction in "alien abduction" style poking and probing.

    1. Wzrd1 Silver badge

      Re: Sad

      Agreed, our government is cutting all of the wrong things from the budget, rather than an immense and crushing expense of an enormous military.

      Wouldn't mind a tour there, even with a winter over. Maybe I'll pop over to the site and see if they need any IA types, who can also provide BOFH mk II services.

  10. Anguilla

    Till Hell freezes over?

    I suppose that there will be some sort of religious personages there - "Till Hell Freezes Over". <Snigger>

  11. Benchops

    But what about the beta gate?

  12. Florida1920
    Pirate

    Arrr

    Just make sure the priest doesn't take the colander with him.

    1. Wzrd1 Silver badge

      Re: Arrr

      The priest is welcome to the ice cube tray.

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Other stories you might like