back to article Brace yourselves: Facebook plans MORE PHP jiggery pokery

Facebook isn’t done fiddling with PHP – far from it. Team Zuckerberg are cooking up fresh changes to streamline further this veteran server horse for mobile, set to be released under open source. It’s the latest chapter in a rebooted community source strategy that’s chalked up Hip Hop, which then evolved to became Hip Hop …

  1. Rimpel

    Statistically typed

    "HHVM converts PHP to the statistically typed, and faster, C++."

    9 times out of 10 this variable is an int?

    1. Irongut
      Pint

      Re: Statistically typed

      I was just about to post something similar.

      Even the teaboy at my work would know that was wrong. Well ok he wouldn't but someone has to employ the village idiot.

    2. Kristian Walsh Silver badge

      Re: Statistically typed

      Upvoted for getting to that joke before me.

    3. streaky
      Boffin

      Re: Statistically typed

      It's double (lets not talk about floats) wrong anyway, too lazy to email a correction, but, HipHop used to translate to C++, HHVM actually translates to an IL (HHBC) which is translated to good old fashioned machine code.

    4. Olius

      Re: Statistically typed

      Perhaps it is a reference to the odds on an infinite number of monkeys being able to knock out a FB clone in a day or two...

  2. Rich Harding

    Proof-reader gone home for the weekend? Homage to The Grauniad?

  3. Camilla Smythe

    Open Source?

    It's always good to involve others in fixing your bugs if they can spot them.

    Extend, Embrace & Suffocate.... or something similar.

    No doubt it includes 'open source' libraries in order to report back to 'The Mother Ship Fuck Zuck so marketeers/advertisers can play 'suck your data'.

    if connect_from_$Device{Slurp_Data, Ignore_User_Choice, $Device}

    or some such.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Welcome to the real world, Facebook

    Just when the US.gov dumped the Obamacare website on GitHub, nothing magic automatically happens by open sourcing something - especially if the project doesn't fulfill a need or has legal/political baggage.

    In the open source world, your code has to be clean, useful, and drama-free before it even has a chance to succeed, which may take years. Seeing how companies like Facebook and Twitter withdraw API support whenever anything threatens their business model, it would be technical suicide for a company to tie its future to one of these projects when the sponsor has other interests or is fickle in their technical direction.

    If you can make it in open source, you can make it anywhere, but the reverse is not necessarily true - just because you can attract investor money doesn't automatically make your IP desirable or useful to others.

    1. Preston Munchensonton

      Re: Welcome to the real world, Facebook

      In the open source world, your code has to be clean, useful, and drama-free before it even has a chance to succeed, which may take years.

      The first project that came to mind when I read this was pfSense, which is a massive clusterfuck and as popular as ever. No one waited for them to finally clean up their code.

      FFS, at least try to make the lie seem feasible. There's never a benefit to such statement that no one can substantiate.

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