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back to article Alaskan man guilty of flogging seal penises

An Alaskan man faces a possible one year's jail and a $20,000 fine after pleading guilty to one count of violating the Marine Mammal Protection Act, viz: flogging 100 fur seal penises, aka "oosiks", to a gift shop "that intended to sell the items as an aphrodisiac". According to Reuters, Michael Richard Zacharof, "an Aleut and …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Seal sticks?

    "Assistant US Attorney Andrea Steward explained that "seal penis bones, also known as seal sticks, are believed to have properties similar to erectile dysfunction drugs like Viagra"."

    I reckon he mis-heard that. I can imagine the scene in the office...

    "Hey guys, I need to brief the media on this, what the hell are 'seal penis bones'?"

    "Seals' dicks."

    "Great, let me write that down... seal sticks. Let's roll!"

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  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Far too complicated

    What's wrong with two lolly sticks and a bit of gaffer tape?

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  3. Jeroen Wijnands

    What surprises me

    Is that these things sell on the asian market. I thought they only used highly endangered species as aphrodisiac? Or is this a poor man's substitute for Rhino Horn and tiger bones?

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  4. Sir Runcible Spoon

    Flogging?

    Most disappointed not to be reading an article on how this man managed to whip a hundred seals' penis' (penii?) in some bizarre sex act.

    Still....there's a thought.....yuck :(

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  5. Mike Moyle

    Insert requisite...

    ..."WTF does this have to do with IT" rant here.

    (Now the humorless jerkoffs who normally feel compelled to post such complaints can go away and try to get a life!)

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  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Useless trivia

    St. Paul is one of the Pribilof islands. Russian fur traders relocated Aleuts there in the 1700s to harvest the northern fur seal. The fur business was taken over by the US government after Seward's purchase in the 1860s. Side note: the proceeds from this harvest paid off the cost of purchasing ALL OF ALASKA within a decade.

    This ongoing harvest almost wiped out the species, since these islands are the main breeding ground for these seals. Stringent controls now regulate the taking of seals. Only subsistance hunting for community consumption is allowed, and the once highly valued skins are forbidden from commerce.

    As for the use of private parts.... that's a twist I hadn't heard.

    Grandson of a St. Paul native.

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  7. Chris

    WTF....

    ....how come when I eat another animal's penis, I'm considered more virile, but when I eat another man's penis I'm just considered gay?

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