OK, they're not ROBOT BUTLERS, but Internet of Home 'Things' are getting smarter

Smarter may not necessarily be better...

... if IoT focuses on the wrong outcome.

"One of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation creations is the NutriMatic Drink Dispenser. One of which has just provided Arthur Dent with a plastic cup filled with a liquid which is almost - but not quite - entirely unlike tea.

[NutriMatic dispenser noises]

ARTHUR:

Ah. [Takes a sip] Yeugh!! [Spits out liquid]

NARRATOR:

The way it works is very interesting. When the ‘Drink’ button is pressed it makes an instant, but highly-detailed, examination of the subject’s taste buds, a spectroscopic analysis of the subject’s metabolism, and then sends tiny experimental signals down the neural pathways to the taste centres of the subject’s brain, to see what is likely to be well received. However, no one knows quite why it does this, because it then invariably delivers a cup-full of liquid that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea."

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Normal operation will be restored on payment of {$CURRENCY UNITS}25. We think you'll find this represents good value for money as our estimate of the value of the freezer's current contents is at least 4 times this.

You can use the following link to make your payment.

Cheaper power

We keep hearing of these appliances being able to start when the price of electricity is cheaper. But, other than the old 'Economy 7' fixed times, is that really going to come with the roll-out of smart meters?

It essentially means the electricity companies will be publishing, minute by minute, a spot price for their electricity, in response to demand. So far, however, we've seen that they don't even manage to reduce the price for consumers month by month when their own costs fall; forgive me if I'm sceptical about their desire to pass on lower prices.

And, will they pass spot prices, or will they be able to say "low price window for 2 hours" ? What if, for example, there's not a long enough window at a low price for the wash cycle? Does the machine start anyway, and damn the expense at the end (just when, perhaps, it might be doing the drying)? Or does it say "Best wait until there's enough time to do the whole thing cheaply", and leave you to open the door on a load of stinking socks when you were expecting something clean to wear to work?

This is just stupid

Washing machine - how effing hard is to press a button on damn thing of you still have to go there and put clothes in. And do you really care about application informing when it finished, especially if it's in the middle of the night because electricity is cheaper.

How many times you are going to change lighting in your apartment after you played with app for 15 minutes and tried every single colour and everything in between ? Zero, most likely.

And smart fridge that knows how much beer left ? So what ? Anyone able to afford such fridge would have enough brain cells to estimate when he's going to run out of beer. It's not like beer magically appears in that fridge once you run out of it, and, worse, you still need to go there to get one, presumably in the pause between changing mood lighting, anxiously waiting for washing to stop and constantly adjusting thermostat.

I don't get it…

WTF would you need an app to control a washing machine…?! Presumably you'd have been there to shove the load in - and, therefore, set the programme - and you'll be there to remove it, so what's the point of the app…? Unless it comes complete with fully-trained monkey butler (maid?) to do the loading/unloading, then I really can't see the point. Central heating/water/lights I get, that makes sense, as would a remotely-controlled cooker/hob, and maybe even a Roomba - but washing machine/dishwasher (unless you'd simply forgotten to switch the latter on, and realised you didn't have anything clean to eat your probably cremated/not cooked tea off/with).

I can just see one teeny slip - and you'll come back to no house… I have ZERO faith in any of this tech shit actually working. Perhaps we should all just abandon Earth altogether…

Count me out

Too many opportunities to spaff data to unknown third parties with little to no oversight, and we all know how lovely and secure these things are...

Plurality of Protocols

Exactly how many incompatible protocols are mentioned in this article? It's bad enough having apps that only work with minority OSes, but when you are choosing your washing machine according to which flavour of phone you have, or which protocol your fridge uses, it's getting a bit absurd.

The big problem (and risk) is connectivity

We're a long way away from proper IPv6 deployment, so at the moment all of this will need to work through IPv4. Which means NAT. Which means help from an "outside" server to make all this fun happen. Which means a 3rd party in the path between your washing machine (meh), alarm system (uh oh), home camera system (no frigging way) and fancy remote control door lock (try to get the insurance to pay out when you've had a burglary).

The latter is a clear example that a lot of risk assessment needs to take place before you go near this idea. When you have a mechanical lock, someone needs to be physically there to mess with it. A digital solution can be hacked from any place on the planet and sends details of your absence to whoever has access to it, making it a far less risky exercise to strip your place bare.

On the home security front there is also another issue - wires. If you decide to avoid wires, it takes but a jammer for your cameras to go blind. Do that a couple of times to simulate a system problem, and nobody will as much as twitch when you then get broken in for real.

I do NOT trust any 3rd party to have access or control of my home security. If you set this up and you find you need to "create an account", you're dealing with a platform that I wouldn't trust in teh slightest.

Oh, and as for washing machines - get me one that I can just give a basket of washing. They already have storage to hold washing liquid and softener, but as long as I have to stuff in the washing myself I will also be able to set a timer, and I will know how long it will take - seeing this on remote is not really adding a wow factor in my opinion..

Just another point of failure

IoT means that there is yet another part of the appliance to break.

Having worked at an appliance manufacturer

I can assure you that nobody there has the faintest clue how to actually make this useful. Instead they start proprietary and closed protocolls you cannot get access to, and fail to grasp basic security limitations.

I mean any normal person would first define a _simple_ standard which is open for everyone to experiment with. Then they'd put it out there in a "build it and they will come" fashion. After all the coolest things will be done by others, not yourself. There is no sensible reason why your own imagination should be the limit. If it is easy enough to embed your appliance into something larger and more useful than a remote operation panel, people will do so, particulary since there's a whole home automatisation industry eager to make custom solutions.

I WANT my imagination to be the limit

I can easily imagine what can (and will) go wrong.

Therefore I don't want any of this technology.......I'm perfectly happy with a washing machine that washes, a cooker that cooks, a fridge that refrigerates, and toys that keep the missus happy.

I don't want or need any more than that

Dangers of "Smart" Meters and Appliances

re "OK, they're not Robot Butlers ..." by Jennifer Newton

While this article covered the tech aspects remarkably well, there are three major dangerous issues regarding "smart" appliances that should be addressed.

= MICROWAVES and Dirty Electricity

The "smart" meters and appliances communicate via microwaves, and, sometimes, via the electric power lines themselves.

All radiation is damaging to biological cells.

The current generation is being exposed to radiation levels never before experienced.

Additional frequencies added to electric circuits are called "Dirty Electricity," and are, likewise, a threat to biologically health.

= PRIVACY

The manufacturing of data, by our use of appliances (including our phones and other computer devices) can, and will, be used against us in a court of law.

With these "smart" systems, we have no right to remain silent.

Tracking appliance usage can pinpoint exactly where you would likely be within your home, or where your car is located.

= HACKING

ALL computer systems can be hacked.

Your actual use of electrical power can be changed, and your rates raised, or shut off for alleged unpaid bills.

Individual homes, or entire grids, can be shut off, due to broken programming, or cyber terrorism.

= CORPORATIONS RULES

The major reason for the intense interest in "smart" meters and appliance are the manufacturers, the corporations, which make billions on sales of these items.

You, the consumer/customer, pay for your own potential sources of illness, and for the loss of privacy.

Demian

Ifttt

such a glossed over mention of Ifttt.com considering a lot of the kit mentioned works with it. Why have compatibility between all things when you can have a neat orchestration layer to control all those APIs

yes, the dishwasher and toaster can talk to each other, but what will the conversation be?

Mandatory quote:

Sink: "Sir's accoutrements are precisely where sir has left them, and should the toaster say otherwise I remind sir that it is a wastrel."

(From Fallout New Vegas Old World's Blues.)

Why? For the love of all that's good...

Why? Why would I want to control my washing machine from my phone, when it comes with a perfectly satisfactory set of controls as standard.

Why? Why on earth would I want "turning on one device, will activate the whole lot?"

And why for fecks sake would I want to play with my central heating controls when I'm not at home? Unless it was just to turn it off just to annoy "her indoors"...

The IoT is still a solution looking for a problem. Let it die, please, please let it DIE!!

Automatic Video Recorder?

What will they think of next? (see also 'the deluxe is the one with the real hair'...).

It seems like the pre-requisite for all of this fanciness is a smartphone or tablet which enables you to choose between all sorts of utterly pointless options.

If you need an app to figure out how to properly use a domestic appliance then either it is just plain crap or you are not safe to be near complicated machinery like drawers and cupboards.

All this stuff is based on the premise that we are too busy or too stupid to organise our own lives (or both) and chain us even more strongly to that bleeping thing that increasingly controls our lives (even if by just interrupting all the effing time).

Mine's the one with the washboard and mangle in the pockets because technology is supposed to make life *easier*.

" not having to wash the coal dust out of the tin bath on a Friday night."

Eyup lad you had it soft.

We 'ad to leave coal dust in't bath to help stop up the leaks. Kept it in place wi' me finger while me mother (or sister) scrubbed me hair wi' wire brush.

Negatve comments

The general tone of almost all of the comments so far, is negative and that most commentards don't really have a use for the IoT.

I am with you all, all the way; unfortunately the IoT is being sold to the general public who for the most part are not as tech savvy as El Reg readers and will buy new shiny shinies because they can without any idea of what they really have.

So prepare yourselves for a riot of hacking, 'can't program the fecking house', house has a mind of it's own, and people suddenly receiving massive utility bills because they set up something wrong/didn't set it up at all/ a lightning strike re-set everything to default (happened to one of my PCs) etc etc.

Security is going to be the biggest to overcome though, how long have most homes had PCs for now and how many still have no idea of basic security? Now imagine that with dozens of connected items in the home.

Maybe 'Home IoT Security' is going to be the next best business to be in.

I can see some benefits but not sure it's really worth it

A few thoughts that crossed my head while reading...

- Run a bath remotely

- I want toast to pop up and the kettle to boil as the food in the oven is ready

- Turn the coffee machine/kettle on when my alarm goes off

- Turn off the TV/lights when I fall asleep

But these are all bits and pieces. Maybe living in a "connected home" you would naturally find yourself using it in lots of 'obvious' ways that aren't apparent.

You can already set a timer on your coffee machine, our washing machine lets you program the stop-time so it finishes the load as you get back from work, etc. Is it a case of many minimal gains rather than some revolution?

The big worry

We're one step closer to....

Howdy doodly do. How's it going? I'm Talkie, Talkie Toaster, your chirpy breakfast companion. Talkie's the name, toasting's the game. Anyone like any toast?

I'm sitting in a cold home, no coffee, no lights... and can't even wash clothes...

...because I misplaced or lost my smartphone.

Really awesome, all that smart stuff.