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back to article IBM says dating apps can give you a nasty infection DOWN THERE!

Valentine's Day is just around the corner – and, purely coincidentally, IBM is warning techies about the risks of dating apps and websites. Big Blue has published a report outlining the potential security risks associated with users running sex scheduling software on their smartphones and tablets. Big Blue says it studied 41 …

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  1. JassMan
    Joke

    Bunch of killjoys

    "users running sex scheduling software on their smartphones"

    If you have to have a schedule to to decide when to have a bit of nooky, it sure takes all the fun out of it. What happened to spontaneity?

    3 1 Reply
    1. John Tserkezis
      Reply Icon

      Re: Bunch of killjoys

      "What happened to spontaneity?"

      Be careful what you poke, you might get more than what you bargained for.

      1 0 Reply
    2. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Bunch of killjoys

      Life's too complicated for my smartphone - I have to schedule my sex life with Microsoft Project and put all my girlfriends into a Pert chart.

      A/C obviously!

      2 0 Reply
      1. Swarthy
        Reply Icon

        Re: Bunch of killjoys

        A bit of a Traveling Salesman problem?

        1 0 Reply
  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    'permissions that can be abused to track users or run up excessive billing charges"

    running up excessive charges - sounds just like real-life dating!

    4 0 Reply
  3. Pascal Monett Silver badge

    "an app could gain excessive permissions"

    Nonsense. Every app already demands ALL permissions to install, even if it's just a stopwatch app, so there's no "gaining" permissions needed.

    0 0 Reply
  4. wolfetone Silver badge
    Alert

    Advice

    The best advice I can give anyone using these apps is this:

    Always wear a Condom. Because if they'll sleep with you, they'll sleep with anybody.

    1 1 Reply
  5. Alister

    running sex scheduling software

    Hmm...

    Scheduled Meeting

    Subject: Sex

    | Accept | Decline | Propose new time |

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    When: 12 February 2014 at 15:30

    Duration: 30minutes

    Location: Meeting Room 2

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Alister has invited you to join this meeting

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    3 0 Reply
    1. BongoJoe
      Reply Icon

      Re: running sex scheduling software

      Decline

      3 0 Reply
    2. JLV
      Reply Icon
      Trollface

      Re: running sex scheduling software

      Very busy. Let's do a short stand-up instead.

      Duration: 3 minutes

      0 0 Reply
  6. Simon Harris

    "Match, OkCupid, and Tinder... were not among the apps found to exhibit the cited vulnerabilities"

    It might be useful to know which apps are the ones to avoid.

    (err.. not that I need to know such things, just in case SWMBO is reading this).

    0 0 Reply
  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    sex scheduling software

    Makes it sound like these apps have a 100% success rate. Any users care to confirm or deny this before I consider trying one?

    0 0 Reply
  8. Alistair
    Coat

    @ the other Alister

    @decline

    Although I'd suspect that you get just as many @ reschedule = February 14 2015

    0 0 Reply
  9. frank ly

    "... man-in-the-middle attacks, ..."

    I read that as '... man-in-the-piddle attacks, fisting and cross-dress stripping ...'

    Yes, I will be alone on Valentine's Day. How did you know?

    2 0 Reply
    1. wolfetone Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: "... man-in-the-middle attacks, ..."

      Maybe because any self respecting person who isn't a pervert would have thought "threesome"....

      3 0 Reply
  10. Matt Bryant Silver badge
    Go

    Thanks IBM.

    More ammo for defeating the idiotic push to BYOD.

    1 0 Reply
    1. Robert Helpmann??
      Reply Icon
      Childcatcher

      Re: Thanks IBM.

      More ammo for defeating the idiotic push to BYOD.

      Indeed, how did the 60% of dating apps with vulnerabilities stack up to other apps in general? Probably about average or perhaps a bit above, I would guess.

      0 0 Reply
  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm with IBM on that one.The last thing you want when you've scheduled a shag is a man in the middle.

    1 0 Reply
  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    IBM and dating??

    Wouldn't have thought that was a big problem

    1 0 Reply

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