back to article Soon everyone will be doing it with a strap-on: The Reg's 20 festive wearables

Under the tree this Christmas, wearables beyond woolly socks, gloves and tasteless jumpers will be in abundance. Wristbands and smartwatches that track our activity now cover a diverse range of prices and functions. Most offer ‘lifelogging’, the latest buzzword used to describe monitoring everything you do from exercise to sleep …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Anyone remember the 70s when digital watches lasted about 10 minutes before the battery gave out ? Here we go again

    A word of caution, anyone wishing to commit a crime (or adultery) should not ware one of these as it will grass you up.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Not just adultery; if you wear one of the wristband types, the stats from popping off a bit of light relief can make you look like a hot contender for a sub nine second mens 100m.

  2. Tom 7

    Get two elastic bands and put your phone on your wrist...

    seriously though - I've got a mate making me a little leather wrist pouch to put my phone in.

    Now if I can get a flexible HD screen for the beergut...

  3. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Everyone?

    Really?

    Surely you are jesting?

    1. Khaptain Silver badge

      Re: Everyone?

      I clicked throught the 10 pages of marketing and thought to myself, shit, who would want any of this stuff.

      After three seconds of thought I split people into two polarised groups (a very serious study if ever i saw one).

      "The anti-everyone group ( I belong in this group with Steve along with a lot of El Regtards)"

      You like watches, you already have a real watch ( at least one probably more).

      You are sporty kind of person, you already have a Polar/Garmin/Suunto.

      You are a Geek, but not stupid enough to but this gear, at least when you can buy an indestructable Casio G-Shock with 14000 functions.

      "That everyone group ( you know who you are - there might even be some closet Regtards)"

      You drink KoolAid, Ok then why not, it will match the fluorescent ski bonnet...

      You already have an iPhone, thes add to the Shiny shiny collection.

      You wear shell suits, and maybe like the Chav approach to life.

      Fashionistas wet dream material here.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Everyone?

        @ Khaptain

        I would just add one comment. it is an almost indestructible Casio G-Shock. The outer case of mine has finally fallen apart after 20 odd years of use, the actual 'works' are still going strong though.

  4. stu 4

    Moto 360

    Had one. put on at 5am. flat at 10am.

    sent it back.

    and that was not using it for anything much at all - hell you can't unless you want to look like a google glass dick and 'talk to the watch' as thats the only interface.

    utter piece of crap.

    1. Sir Sham Cad

      Re: Moto 360

      I get about 36 hours of battery life out of mine and I use it a lot. It's possible you had a dodgy one.

      I know there was a software update back in October, I think, 4.4W.2, which improved the battery life, but not to the extent of adding 30 hours!

      On another note, I'm not so sure the Moto 360 does altogether stop monitoring heart rate as the Moto Fit application (not sure if this is unique to using Motorola Connect as I pair it with a Moto G 4G) and I'm sure there was a built in app before Moto Connect updated it to that, checks for X minutes (default was 30 minutes) of elevated heart rate activity. Not sure how it would determine that without constantly monitoring.

      I know what you mean about talking to the watch but, like other embarrasing activities, I only do it in private or to show off.

  5. stu 4
    Joke

    Wahoo Tikr runner

    There doesn't seem to be a picture of this one ?

    at least if there is I can't see it...

    1. Khaptain Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: Wahoo Tikr runner

      Everything that was interesting was clearly shown.

  6. Dr_N

    It's the next thing since 3D TV

    Big Hype.

    Convinced the public want it.

    Big investment.

    Whoops.

  7. Sooty

    Gear Fit

    I have one, and I really like it. it's unobtrusive, fairly stylish and a great bit of tech. The phone software is pretty terrible though, proper integration and sync could make it a lot better

    The unfortunate downside to this is that when my samsung phone broke i replaced it with a iPhone, making it slightly less of a smart, smartwatch. Given that it uses blutooth I cant imaging knocking up a generic andriod or IOS app for it would be much of a stretch, and it's certainly not must have enough to sway someone to buy a samsung phone just to get one. Samsung need to pull their finger out and open them up to a wider audience.

  8. Gordon 10
    Alert

    Nike are bailing....

    Are bailing out of the hardware side of the wearables market - so better hold onto that Fuelband receipt.....

  9. thomas k.

    Yes, I splurged

    I splurged and treated myself to an LG G for Xmas.

    Kind of pointless as far as what it can do since my actual cell is a Windows Phone. Google has hinted at porting the Wear app but, again, pointless for me as I only turn the phone on when I want to make a call and immediately turn it off afterwards and, as no one has the number, I've no need for notifications, either. (It's paired with an HTC One, in case you're wondering.)

    The fitness features? Meh. I may try the new music control features, though.

    I really just bought it for the novelty of changing the watch faces and it works pretty well for that.

    I like the square design, it looks pretty sharp but the rubber strap is a flaky skin magnet so I'll have to switch the band out.

    All in all, very pleased with it.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I tried alot of these, and my favorite didn't even make it to the list.

    The Sony SWR50. Everything I want in a smartwatch, it was a close call with that at the Moto360, but I tried them both on, and the Sony looked better on the wrist (curiosly, the Moto looked better OFF the wrist, in promo shots and on the charger). I think it's down to Sony's clever design that makes it look thinner than it is.

    1. 's water music

      Re: I tried alot of these, and my favorite didn't even make it to the list.

      <Butt Head>hrrr hrrr, he talked about 'one off the wrist'</Butt Head>

  11. IR

    Regular Pebble

    I've got a regular Pebble watch. Not as expensive as the Pebble Steel (or any of these other smart watches), and it does everything I need it to - which is really just a basic interface for my phone so I don't have to get it out very often. Control my music player, read texts and emails, start recording GPS tracks, etc. I don't need another phone on my wrist. If I need to do any heavy lifting then I just get my phone out.

  12. fourlights
    Trollface

    Number 2

    Greatest pun-chart positioning ever.

    It looks like a bumhole.

    1. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

      Re: Number 2

      You beat me to it. Looks very balloon knotty indeed.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Number 2

        Yes, very chocolate starfish.

  13. Augie
    FAIL

    Errr missing one perhaps?

    Rufus Cuff anyone?... any reason it was missed out?

  14. Terry 6 Silver badge

    Useless junk

    Who actually needs an exercise tracker?

    Pro/elite athletes have a team to analyse their performance, properly. Because they have performance targets.

    Anyone else has no need for this stuff. If anyone wants to get fitter they just need to do more than they already doing. And you don't need a shiny wrist ornament for that.

    Which means that the only possible punters to buy these gadgets are going to be the Lycra posers.

    Are there enough d***heads to make this stuff viable?

    I doubt it.

    1. JDX Gold badge

      Re: Useless junk

      It's called having a hobby, you boring jackass.

      1. Terry 6 Silver badge

        Re: Useless junk

        OK. I'll take it that you are one of the ones who thinks he/she really needs this thing. And I'll leave it to the commentards to judge..

    2. Syren Baran
      Pint

      Re: Useless junk

      "Who actually needs an exercise tracker?"

      Anyone who actually wants to quantify the calories burned.

      I mean sure, "eat less" "more exercise" is what everyone can tell you, but just how much is "less" and "more" really?

      So nowadays i actually look at my calorie allowance in the evening and decide i will "have" to spend half on hour on my bicycle ergometer to treat myself with a beer.

      Lost 10kg in two months so far, wouldnt call those fitness trackers useless junk.

      1. Graham 24

        Re: Useless junk

        "Lost 10kg in two months"

        That's more than 1/3 lb per day, every day! Either that's a typo, or you need to get out of IT and sell your weight loss technique to the world.

        1. ssieler

          Re: Useless junk

          It's a plausible weight-loss. Over the short term, water loss can account for a lot of that.

          However, with a medically supervised [and mostly liquid] diet, it's not surprising to lose

          1/2 lb per day for long periods of time (e.g., I've seen a friend go from 300+ to 150 in one year, just on the HMR medically supervised diet).

          Back to watches ... the roundup sure missed a lot of smart watches, unfortunately.

          I'd like to see info about Android-running watches (not merely watches that *talk to* Android systems) ... since I've had DOS and Palm watches, I'm a long-time believer in wearing a watch I can write code for :)

          Also missing: Kreyos, and Buddy Bluetooth watch (I've tried both, not greatly impressed by either)

      2. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

        Re: Useless junk

        Lost 10kg in two months so far, wouldnt call those fitness trackers useless junk.

        Leaving aside the implausibility of the specific weight-loss claim here: clearly a fitness tracker can be the inducement that some people need to exercise more. So can any fetish. Fitness trackers are no more or less "useless" in that sense than anything else. People who cathect that sort of accumulation of personal data1 may derive motivation from it, but there's nothing special about that. If a poster of Rocky Balboa or a muscle-bound oaf kicking sand in your face gets someone going, the results will be the same (and they're cheaper, too).

        Claims that fitness trackers make exercise somehow more "efficient" by providing additional information on results are dubious, given the imprecision of such devices and, more importantly, vastly different responses by different people to the same physical labor. While professional athletes exercising in a highly-instrumented environment probably are able to tune their activities to achieve greater results over shorter time, for ordinary folk the route to effective exercise is to exercise until it has a discernible effect.

        I have friends who are into the whole fitness-tracking craze. Good for them. I wouldn't bother with one if I received it as a gift. When I feel I need exercise, I go and do it; I have ample smugness to self-motivate.

        In short: anecdotal evidence doesn't demonstrate any intrinsic value in fitness trackers, even if they "work" in this sense for some users.

        1There is of course a large body of critical theory on this topic, going back at least to the Frankfort School and early responses to Taylorism; and that drawing on ideas from the Enlightenment, particularly critiques of the Industrial Revolution, and cognate concepts such as Anglican theology's "instrumentality", which some readers may recognize as one of the inspirations for Cordwainer Smith's fiction.

  15. JDX Gold badge

    Microsoft Band

    I hadn't even heard of this - is it new and had a soft launch? I'm sure I'd have heard people laughing about it otherwise (although it doesn't sound too bad).

    1. thomas k.
      Thumb Up

      Re: Microsoft Band

      I think they deserve props for making it look like an ankle bracelet.

  16. wiggers

    Withings Pulse Ox

    Had one of these for over a year. The altimeter function (measures height gained) only works if you don't put it in the bundled black clip owing to the sensor being covered! The coloured clips have a small hole over the sensor, so provided you mount it the right way round it's OK. I just put it in my pocket without a clip. The sleep band is fastened with Velcro, that gets tired after a few months. I'm on my second band, but have stopped wearing it at night now. The hardware is well designed, good battery life and easy touch interface/display, but the Android app is hopeless. Lost count of the number of bug reports I've submitted and each update introduces new problems. The online dashboard is a bit better, but still has some very odd design aspects. Instead of a rolling 7day display, it restarts every Monday morning.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Pebble really does last 7 days unless you get 1,000 emails/txts a day.

    Review missed out that the steel has activity tracker and compass ability too...(just grab the free apps)

    The plastic pebble is very cheap still lasts 7 days and supports all the same apps...

  18. Champ

    Another vote for the 'regular' (not Steel) Pebble, I've had mine for 18 months, and was an original Kickstart supporter. I really wouldn't want to be without it now - it must save me fishing my phone out of my pocket 20 times a day!

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm holding out...

    I'm holding out for the smart arab strap. Syncs to an app to monitor your staying power.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Will be interesting to see how big the takeup really is for smartwatches and the demographic of the users. Younger people just don't wear watches anymore (even as a not-young-anymore person, I haven't worn a watch in over a decade), because their phone is their watch anyway. So if the smartwatch can actually appeal to these people (and over time they will replace us as the dominant tech buyers) then it will be a genuine revolution. I suspect they'll have a much bigger takeup on the older side of the generational gap though.

  21. Arnold Lieberman

    Star Kingelon K2

    Had mine for a few months. Build quality is pants (first the camera died, then the speaker) but it does just what I need and no more. I did install iplayer on it for a laugh but in reality I need something that will just vibrate when a call/sms/whatsapp comes in, allows me to read said message and (remote) control music on the phone.

  22. This post has been deleted by its author

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