Cool Large Hadron Collider to fire into doubly powerful ring CERN boffins have started powering up their improved Large Hadron Collider – and say the particle accelerator will fire with twice the energy of its previous run by March. "With this new energy level, the LHC will open new horizons for physics and for future discoveries," said CERN Director-General Rolf Heuer. "I'm looking …
"Everything is exactly as it should be. Not a single surprise! Not a single bone thrown at us!!"
DESPONDENCY!
Nah, that'll just mean they're on the right track, and have to work harder to learn more, instead of throwing out current theory and starting over.
(Boffins are people too, and some people hate the thought of hard work just keeping the same old-same old going.)
Who says the Big Bang created unequal amounts of matter and antimatter? I reckon it created equal amounts, with the anti-matter zooming off in one direction* and the matter (including us) zooming off in the opposite direction.
*This neatly explains why One Direction doesn't matter.
The plot is that some undetected zeroday flaw in the LHC control system allows interdimensional hackers to take over the collider and synchronize the collisions so that they intersect with their dimension and allow an invasion to take place.
The Doctor turns up at the crucial moment and throws a sonic spanner in the works, causing the interdimensional aliens to get sent hurtling back into their domain with a polite note not to bother humanity again "Or Else!"
Cue lots of LHe ownage and assorted Sheldon-like boffinry running around screaming because the aliens "Know about superstring particle fluxion theory".
Hint: Amy Pond nearly gets frozen but is rescued at the last second, yet again.
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