back to article All aboard the Poo Bus! Ding ding, route Number Two departing

Next week punters travelling between Bristol and Bath will be able to ride on a bus ultimately powered by human poo, the first ever such service in the UK. The 40-seater "Bio-Bus" will run up to two times a day and is expected to carry around 10,000 passengers a month by tour operator Bath Bus Company. It can travel up to …

  1. TRT Silver badge

    Does it have farto go?

    1. king of foo

      silent but violent

      Now cyclists will wake up in a&e not only with broken bones, but smelling faintly of shit...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Joke

        Re: silent but violent

        They do anyway. Try and control your guts comes steaming your way!

    2. Bump in the night
      Headmaster

      The wheels on the bus

      go brown and brown.

  2. Martin-73 Silver badge

    At least el Reg has been honest about this

    The 'independent' claimed it's 100% powered by human poo, despite the biogas being scrubbed and MIXED WITH PROPANE....

  3. Stuart 22

    Rocket Power

    If only they could develop an on-board processor they could harness the preceding farts.

    Have a nice weekend.

  4. DNTP

    All passengers, may I have your attention. We are running low on fuel. My assistant will be passing around jars of picked onions and cans of beans.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    the next one will be powered solely by Boris Johnson

    a truly renewable and inexhaustable supply of Bull-Shit.

    1. Captain DaFt

      Re: the next one will be powered solely by Boris Johnson

      "the next one will be powered solely by Boris Johnson "

      No need to pick just him. If they can tap into Parliament, Washington DC, et al, The World's energy problems would be solved forever!

      Finally, an honest use for politicians!

  6. Nathan 13

    Hmm

    Bet its a shit service!!

  7. Albert Hall

    Obviously...

    This will require setting up a Poo Bank to handle deposits, er, credits and withdrawals. Otherwise they'll never keep this shit straight. I suspect the connected "smart" toilet industry is behind this.

    1. Cipher
      Coat

      Re: Obviously...

      There is an existing system to handle some of this:

      e-toliet

  8. Ketlan

    'The Bio-Bus will be powered by people living in the area "including quite possibly those on the bus itself," said Mohammed Saddiq, GENeco general manager.'

    Seriously? So if the bus stops, the passengers might be asked to provide the fuel? Fuck me, I knew local transport was shit but...'

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Is it a number 2?

  10. Z80
    WTF?

    10,000 passengers a month?

    If every one of the 40 seats was filled in both directions twice a day every day for a 31 day month that would be 4960 passengers.

    1. king of foo

      Re: 10,000 passengers a month?

      Yes, but roughly half of them will encounter the mystery of the invisible poo

    2. nsld

      Re: 10,000 passengers a month?

      If the route has multiple stops and people alight and board for partial journeys it will increase the total number of "journeys"

    3. swschrad

      actually, if the seats were filled

      this would certainly be a hell of a mess.

  11. Christoph

    "Realistically, poo buses are not going to be a significant factor in the transport of the future."

    Well, every little helps. There's no need to poo-poo the idea.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
      Mushroom

      Poo pooing can be fatal to moral

      General Melchett: Well, I hope so, Blackadder. You know, if there's one thing I've learnt from being in the Army, it's never ignore a pooh-pooh. I knew a Major, who got pooh-poohed, made the mistake of ignoring the pooh-pooh. He pooh-poohed it! Fatal error! 'Cos it turned out all along that the soldier who pooh-poohed him had been pooh-poohing a lot of other officers who pooh-poohed their pooh-poohs. In the end, we had to disband the regiment. Morale totally destroyed... by pooh-pooh!

  12. Trainee grumpy old ****
    Boffin

    Calculations seem a bit off.

    If 80 people are carried every day then over 365 days that is 80*365 = 29,200 passengers per year.

    Over this time the bus is fuelled by 500 people that means each person shitting propels 29,200/500 = 58.4 passengers.

    Even if the bus only carries a quarter of its capacity (20*365 = 7,300) that's still 7,300 / 500 = 14.6 passengers per shitter.

    A bit more efficient than 4 shitters per passenger!

    1. mr.K

      Re: Calculations seem a bit off.

      No, they are not. You have just misunderstood what they are about. They are telling how many people it takes to power the bus, while you look at how many journeys one person can provide fuel for during a year.

      The former number makes it easy to compare it to other energy sources and if it can replace them. It is an odd one, but it takes into account the finite supply and you can disregard the size of the population. The latter number can be used to look at how big the supply into the market can be.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    do the seats have round holes cut out of them?

    ha hahaHA......ha

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    SCAT BUS

    it needed a nickname.

    1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

      Re: SCAT BUS

      Does it run a Shittle service?

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If the end result last night's curry is anything to go by

    A single person could conceivably power a one way trip*.

    * It all ended up in moon-shot territory, in the wee small hours.

  16. David Pollard
    Pint

    Harold Bates

    In the true spirit of British invention, Harold Bates had been running his Hillman on bio-methane almost half a century ago, and was quoted as saying, "This is the thing of the future."

    http://journeytoforever.org/biofuel_library/methane_bate.html

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Harold Bates

      Many of his contemporaries poo pooed his ideas, a lot of them thought that Harold was becoming a bit too anal on the subject....just shows you how pong you can be:)

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    BOFFINS, WE NEED CLARITY ON THIS ONE

    Would this be considered GREEN or BROWN technology?

    1. Tapeador

      Re: BOFFINS, WE NEED CLARITY ON THIS ONE

      If it comes out green, ring NHS direct.

  18. James 51

    Alone things like biogas and biodesiel aren't complete solutions but they could be smaller pieces of a bigger picture.

    1. moonrakin

      yeah... well

      Last time I looked the rough metric was plant every cultivable part of the planet with the best energy source vegetable (or whatever) and you would provide 20% of the energy used from fossil fuel - of course things would improve - since the consequently reducing population would have less demand for energy - there you go - sorted.

      1. Tapeador

        Re: yeah... well

        hey, what problem isn't reducing the population supposedly the solution for?

        mass deaths, bish bosh, sorted

        :-/

  19. LaeMing

    Poo economy

    "...so every time you go to the lavatory it is vitally important to get a receipt."

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Goldman Sachs

    i bet that even as we speak, they're trying to corner the market in u-bends.

  21. moonrakin

    Huh ... what a let down

    On investigation it does not have 40 individual cubicles (with scenic ever changing views) and will not run forever.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    RFID Travel cards?

    I wonder if they ask for a deposit like TFL do?

  23. swschrad

    what's that phrase...

    if wishes were horses, all would ride?

    keep your road apples in the rear of the bus, please...

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Other popular sources of bio-gas

    Cattle excrement.

    Decaying vegetables matter, like those pesky leaves that block trains,

    Decaying carcasses, like the remains of Sundays chicken or ex-uncle Bob.

    In fact everything organic, I do not mean just that contrived feel good food for relieving guilt, in nature is a source of bio-gas.

    So 5 people's leaving may propel one fortunate (?) soul, but the amount of general bio - waste available would be enough to keep us all going.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Other popular sources of bio-gas

      Very true. However it is my understanding that the need to process the methane to a higher concentration when used as a car or bus fuel means it is overall a less efficient use of energy than for example using it as a source of (heat and/or electrical) energy directly on the farm where the methane is produced and collected, for example. Still has a use as a transportation fuel that does not depend on other countries.

      No smells apparent driving a CNG car, BTW, no matter if is running on poo or Russian gas. At least if you don't count the specifically added "marker" smell (and that only if there is a leak).

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Be part of the push

    For regular bus services in the west.

  26. Stratman
    Coat

    One has crashed on a roundabout

    Police are examining the skid marks.

  27. Rol

    Outraged

    As a Bristol resident I am outraged that people from outside the area, having contributed nothing to the scheme will be allowed to travel on this bus.

    They should at least be forced to hand over a deposit to secure a journey.

  28. Bunty Collocks
    Coat

    Damn, we've missed the first 2 busses...

    ..but wait, here comes the turd.

  29. Henry Wertz 1 Gold badge

    How about the exhaust?

    You know how those fry oil-powered diesel vehicles kind of smell like french fries? Yeah, hows the exhaust from this bus smell? 8-)

    (In all seriousness I do suppose it smells like nothing at all. But I'm surprised that exhaust from biodiesel vehicles smells like anything identifiable either, so I don't really know.)

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Fuels bils?

    Great news, but now I'm supplying fuel to the council I am to expect payment for my services right?

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