Making a qbit at home
How to get a quantum memory in the first place, for all you eager amateur quantum computer buffs out there.
Insert conventional memory chip into blender. Best use DRAM chip, but if you cannot get one, Micro SD card with Flash memory is ok.
Blend on hyperfine setting until you obtain a fine powder
Immerse powder in sulphuric acid for several days until all the powder has dissolved
Dilute repeatedly to 1:1000000000, until there is no absolute certainty, but a definite possibility of the residual presence of any molecules of DRAM in any given quantifiable volume of the solution.
Remove 10cc of the diluted solution (the Quantum Fraction)
Pour into sturdy plastic vat.
Wear appropriate clothing, something that reflects the reverence of the proceedings and turn any lights down using a dimmer or an on/off switch if no dimmer is available.
Smack the vat hard with a sledgehammer while chanting lines from the officially sanctioned abridged biography of Max Planck to an appropriate Plainchant tune.
Continue as long as possible, until the vat shows signs of impending cracking.
Voila, your qbit is ready! All you now need to do is extract it from the plastic vat, but that's a specialist job full of uncertainties, and we couldn't definitely tell you how to do it.
Biting the hand that feeds IT
