Horny dude gets thumped
I can already see it. A guy gets his girl to advertise, and when the horny dude shows, he gets thumped and fleeced for his troubles! Paris as she is as close to a working girl as the icons get!
Back in the bad old days when men were men and women were, well, a bit more relaxed, new forms of technology generally ushered in equally new ways of watching other folk having sex. Few older gents can forget the VHS and Betamax era, because it allowed them to linger over hours of grumble movies starring a host of lovelies and …
I welcome the opportunity to lay a complex technical trail of clues that a worn-out retired gumshoe, called back to solve one last baffling case while trying to deal with his divorce/separation/drink problem, will have to follow.
It's technology like this that really reaches out to us full-time professional murtherers.
Must be the most incomprehensible article ever. I've re-read it a few times and I still can't make head nor tail of it. OK, there are a few lucid lines in the middle but the rest is pure waffle.
Take away Jasper's beer allowance or send me a few pints so I can make sense of him.
"Just click the watch face and it will steer you in the direction of some other horny person, who will either recoil with horror at your inglorious visage or fall into bed with you."
It's always the former with me. But I'm not beautiful enough to own an Apple Watch anyway.
Steven "OH LORD, PUT IT AWAY*" R
*I should probably ask first, in fairness....
"Triple tap the display to activate Emergency mode. This will let the Police know where you are and will also share the location of your date. He/she will also get a permanent ban on 3nder. Win! Except for the murder guy."
I mean, it's all good, what's not to like? Apart from 3nder's marketing which helpfully reminds us of the random chance of senseless death by psycho if we're brave enough to use this app.
I rather think this one will go the same way. It's all nice and fine letting interested others know you're in search of a mate, but most people will prefer a little bit of discretion with it. Imagine standing in a queue somewhere and being approached with "I see you've got your 3nder on" - it could be just a little bit embarassing. What was wrong about going to parties or clubs?
"Triple tap the display to activate Emergency mode," the developers said. "This will let the Police know where you are and will also share the location of your date."
Roxanne is Walking on the Moon on a Secret Journey under the Invisible Sun when her 3ndr date turns and says "Can't Stand Losing You" pulling her towards him.
"Don't Stand so Close to Me!" she cries.
"Every Breath You Take..." he starts to say, but she taps her justWatch three times and in short order she's So Lonely. Meanwhile her date feels like the King of Pain when all he wanted to say to her was "De Do Do Do De Da Da Da" only now he's Driven to Tears. "Everything She Does is Magic!" he sobs.