back to article Slough isn't fit for humans now, says Amazon. We're going to Shoreditch

Amazon has decided to say goodbye to the dismal satellite town Slough and moved its British HQ to the heart of trendy Shoreditch. The giant etailer decided to leave the Slough of Despond after signing a deal with the developer Brookfield which will see it become the major tenant in the £500million Principal Place building, …

  1. Andy The Hat Silver badge

    How great it is to have all those new jobs in Shoreditch, look how many jobs Amazon create!

    But how sad it is for all the poor workers in Slough.

    Were there any "sweeteners" on offer I wonder as the ground rent must be massive compared to Slough ...

    1. Gordon 10
      Black Helicopters

      Bigger Losses

      I suspect that's the reason for the move. More ground rent = bigger fake losses for the UK company not to pay tax against.

      1. gerryg

        Re: Bigger Losses

        You actually have to pay the rent.

        So while Amazon will be able to deduct it from their earnings they will only save the %age rate of corporation tax - JUST like every other company.

        Unless you are aware of some cunning asset stripping plan, in which case you are either in tax planning or should consider a career change.

    2. Elmer Phud

      Sweetners

      Boris is very, very good on tax breaks ---

      Not that Amazon bother too much with tax to start with

      1. gerryg

        Re: Sweetners

        You do understand that raising tax is a power largely retained by government not the Mayor of London?

        Can you identify the scheme here?

    3. TheOtherHobbes

      >Were there any "sweeteners" on offer

      At a guess, moving out of Slough would have been very close to the top of the list.

      It's completely lacking the breakfast pop-ups, microbreweries, owl cafes, and hipster beard management boutiques that make Shoreditch such a creative hub.

  2. Nifty Silver badge

    Alibaba will be happy to take the Slough site

  3. Cynicalmark
    Devil

    Ahhhhh soooo tempting

    Slough has many redeeming features....the roads out of there mainly.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Ahhhhh soooo tempting

      As an ex Slough resident I always felt the best thing about it was how far you could get away from it quickly. Trains to London or Bristol, the M4, M40, M25 motorways, even Heathrow. I finally escaped after 10 years there. The only other thing I miss is the variety of ethnic supermarkets.

      1. Frank Bough

        Re: Ahhhhh soooo tempting

        If you want a job, Slough is one of the best places to live in the UK. Simple. If other towns followed Slough's example the IK would be a more enterprising and wealthier place.

  4. Neill Mitchell

    Has Slough declared independence then? Will food start costing more there as well?

    This is all just scaremongering.

  5. Marcus Aurelius
    Devil

    Slough

    Whenever I hear the name, I am reminded of the Doom level - The Slough of Despair

    1. tony2heads

      Re: Slough

      I am somewhat older and think of the Slough of Despond

      1. P. Lee

        Re: Slough

        >I am somewhat older and think of the Slough of Despond

        Almost 400 years older? :-O

  6. EddieD

    Good idea

    A friend was brought up in Slough, she thought JB was being unnecessarily positive about the place.

  7. Steve Crook

    Slough - Paradise on Earth

    Well, it wasn't bad when I lived there during the late 50's early 60's. It went downhill rapidly after my family took me away to Bristol.

    But that's probably a coincidence....

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Slough - Paradise on Earth

      "Well, it wasn't bad when I lived there during the late 50's early 60's."

      It was a shithole by the time I lived and worked there in the late 80s. What you and I know, but other members of the commentariat my be less aware of, is that Slough exists as a binary system with nearby Windsor. For all the tourists, Windsor is pleasantly genteel, in contrast to the post industrial, post nuclear war scabbiness of Slough. This means that anything and anybody that aren't thoroughly down market gravitates to Windsor, and Slough thus accretes shittiness exponentially. Something like a black hole, except that you can visit it and come away again.

      I suspect that in the 50s and 60s, lower car ownership, and the absence of the dual carriageway known locally as the Relief Road meant that journeying from Slough to Windsor was less easy, and it was less easy for the middle classes to escape.

      1. keithpeter Silver badge
        Windows

        Re: Slough - Paradise on Earth

        "...the post industrial, post nuclear war scabbiness of Slough..."

        Sounds ace. I shall visit with cameras. Sort of like Сталкер only with Baltis and no dioxins?

  8. dotdavid

    For a lot of companies it may make more sense to be in the middle of London than in one of its' satellite towns - it means you can employ people who have a reasonable commute from all directions around London, as opposed to just the people that live in London or on the road/rail to London that the satellite town is on.

    Add the tax breaks that you no doubt get when setting up in Shoreditch, it's probably not a bad move for Amazon despite the increased rent/property costs.

    1. phuzz Silver badge

      On the other hand, the advantage of basing your company in a place that isn't London is that you can employ people who actually live in that town, rather than people who have to spend £1000 per month to rent a one room flat 20 miles away from where they actually work.

      1. dotdavid

        Indeed, but the market for potential employees will be a lot smaller in that case, being limited to people who live in that place that isn't London and people who live up to an hour or so's journey around that place that isn't London.

        There are lots of people that live up to an hour or so's journey around the place that is London. Some of them may have more niche skills you need.

        Not really sure how I earned the downvotes for my previous post. Commuting from commuter towns is hardly ideal for people, commuting from further away (and associated time away from families and friends, and the ridiculous additional rent that needs to be paid) is worse still, and it would be lovely if we all lived close to work or could regularly telecommute but alas that's not the case, at least in my experience. Living north of London I'd rather a company I could work for be in London than, say, in Slough where I'd have to slog into London via the M25 or rail and then slog back out of it again to get to work.

        1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

          Sorry... BS...

          Quote: "Indeed, but the market for potential employees will be a lot smaller in that case"

          Sorry, I call BS.

          There are plenty of places outside London which have larger local population than what you can hire if you are based in Central London or one of London satellite towns (once you take into account the fact that you have to jack up salaries so people can commute). MK (which grew on the back of Unisys UK operation so if you sneeze you end up sneezing on someone who can do enterprise buses and COBOL), Cambridge (anything you want - you can find someone to do it - virtualization, mobile, telecoms, etc), Guildford (mobile, embedded, etc). If you go further away from London there are significant local IT populations in a few other places too. Slough is in that category too, but for a different reason - it is in a good location to hoover up anything and everything spare as resource in the M4 corridor. Most people who work there would rather work in Newbury, Reading or somewhere else, but as they say in some countries: "When there ain't any fish, the crayfish is a fish".

          So if you base your business there, you can get _MORE_ qualified candidates than you will get if you base it in Shoreditch because you get all people who are willing to commute + significant local population. The sole reason for Shoreditch are tax breaks and subsidies related to inner town redevelopment, so whatever Amazon "creates" as job tax income, we probably (as the taxpayers) have to hand back as various tax break backhanders.

          1. CCCP

            Re: Sorry... BS...

            I call double BS on your puny BS.

            Your comment is exactly why IT types get such a bad reputation. Your world is so narrow that anything else a company might need to engage in is mere interference with writing code.

            Newsflash, long before there was code there were merchants or middle men. They made markets. Now we call them marketing or sales, or some other derogatory term. Still need them. Always will.

            Sticking butter up a hedgehog's arse with a red hot poker is child's play compared recruiting decent middle men to Slough. I know. I tried for two years then gave up.

            1. Alan_Peery
              Unhappy

              Unable to vote up due to visual image

              Poor hedgehog... ;-(

            2. PNGuinn
              Go

              Re: Sorry... BS...

              Upvoted for the analogy!

              ... Come friendly hedghogs and get squashed in Slough ...

  9. sorry, what?
    FAIL

    Will Amazon invest in...

    The additional commuter infrastructure required? The thing I find depressing is that these companies happily force their employees to commute on crappy public transport or drive choked roads, spending silly money on fares or fuel (creating more pollution along the way) or move to stupidly-small-for-the-price accommodation in London and still suffer from crappy public transport.

    Personally I'd have preferred them to move anywhere but London. That said, I am at least not an employee of theirs!

    1. Gordon 10

      Re: Will Amazon invest in...

      Given the way amazon are reputed to treat their staff they have probably all been told to move and given a pay cut to "encourage" them

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Will Amazon invest in...

      " Will Amazon invest in...The additional commuter infrastructure required?"

      That depends on whether they negotiated some exemption from the Crossrail business rate supplement. Realistically, that toff Boris will have cut them a slick deal (because that's how all politicians work) and if that is the case then the infrastructure they need to shift their workforce from Slough to London will be paid for by every other business in London who don't get exemptions from the CBRS.

      If Boris had any balls he'd have told Amazon they were getting special unpreferential treatment to block any presence in London until the tax dodgers stopped cheating the system, but what were the chances of that?

    3. Chris J

      Re: Will Amazon invest in...

      I'm not sure a country where private companies would build transport infrastructure just to get their workers too and from their offices is one where I want to live.

      1. Chewy

        Re: Will Amazon invest in...

        I'm pretty sure that MS and Oracle (amongst others) subsidise the free bus service to TVP in Reading so that people avoid driving and clog up the already busy road system.

    4. Alan_Peery

      Re: Will Amazon invest in...

      > The additional commuter infrastructure required?

      From the website about the features of the Principal Place building mentioned in the article:

      Cycle Hub

      • High quality cyclist provisions at basement mezzanine level, entered via 2 dedicated cycle lifts on Hearn Street, with direct access to and from the main lobby for ease of use.

      • 600 bicycle spaces, with adjacent shower, changing and locker facilities.

  10. Yugguy

    More London jobs

    Just what the rest of the country needs.

  11. s. pam Silver badge
    Joke

    Slough is a shit hole, cannot blame them for moving.....

    But we all know that Amazon and Google doesn't actually do any business in the UK.

    All smoke and mirrors?

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    moving for tax reasons?

    Are they going to pay even less at Shoredike?

    1. JDX Gold badge

      Re: moving for tax reasons?

      At the very least they'll be paying an absolute bomb for the offices.

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: moving for tax reasons?

        Careful comments like that can get you into trouble ......

        Sir, we have reports of somebody in London Englandshire mentioning "jellied eels" on their phone - could be a terrorist code word.

  13. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

    Closer to their customers

    Presumably more of Amazon's customers and authors live in London than live in Slough.

    It's obviously important for a company to be close to both its suppliers and customers.

  14. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    Own goal for Boris?

    He's trying to get adopted as a candidate for South Ruislip & Uxbridge which are not far from Slough. I wonder what his prospective constituents will make of his approval of jobs being moved out of their area.

  15. BlueGreen

    It's a great poem, I probably shouldn't but here you go

    Slough

    (John Betjeman)

    --

    Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough!

    It isn't fit for humans now,

    There isn't grass to graze a cow.

    Swarm over, Death!

    --

    Come, bombs and blow to smithereens

    Those air -conditioned, bright canteens,

    Tinned fruit, tinned meat, tinned milk, tinned beans,

    Tinned minds, tinned breath.

    --

    Mess up the mess they call a town-

    A house for ninety-seven down

    And once a week a half a crown

    For twenty years.

    --

    And get that man with double chin

    Who'll always cheat and always win,

    Who washes his repulsive skin

    In women's tears:

    --

    And smash his desk of polished oak

    And smash his hands so used to stroke

    And stop his boring dirty joke

    And make him yell.

    --

    But spare the bald young clerks who add

    The profits of the stinking cad;

    It's not their fault that they are mad,

    They've tasted Hell.

    --

    It's not their fault they do not know

    The birdsong from the radio,

    It's not their fault they often go

    To Maidenhead

    --

    And talk of sport and makes of cars

    In various bogus-Tudor bars

    And daren't look up and see the stars

    But belch instead.

    --

    In labour-saving homes, with care

    Their wives frizz out peroxide hair

    And dry it in synthetic air

    And paint their nails.

    --

    Come, friendly bombs and fall on Slough

    To get it ready for the plough.

    The cabbages are coming now;

    The earth exhales.

  16. mafoo
    Mushroom

    Which is worse?

    Slough / Shoreditch

    I honestly don't know which is a worse place.

    1. Frank Bough

      Re: Which is worse?

      On balance, it has to be Shoreditch.

      1. JDX Gold badge

        Re: Which is worse?

        Shoreditch is 10min away from good places though.

  17. Caoilte

    errr they've already got a big office on the Holborn Viaduct that they only just moved into.... bizarre.

  18. The Godfather
    Pint

    Shoreditch...is the new Slough

    Handy if you get drunk..don't have to go far to fall in one...ditch.

  19. Richard Boyce
    Black Helicopters

    Is it safe...

    ... to use the b word online these days?

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: Is it safe...

      What Boris ? Yes but don't use it three times or it may summon him.

  20. JaitcH
    Unhappy

    SLOUGH - if despond - easily the worst place in Buckinghamshire ... or anywhere?

    Back in the day when I used to fly-in via Heathrow, the bus I took used to terminate at Slough Bus Station where I had to catch a bus that went in to the bowels of Buckinghamshire.

    I have never experienced such a depressing place as Slough Bus Station - even makes High Wycombe Bus Station look good. Slough is easily on a par with the worst parts of Kolkata (of Black Hole fame).

    Why would anyone, even Amazon, settle in Slough in the first place?

    1. Not That Andrew

      Re: SLOUGH - if despond - easily the worst place in Buckinghamshire ... or anywhere?

      They were trying to look like a legitimate business, not a tax evasion scheme. But now the everyone knows about that, they might as well join the rest of the chattering class at Shoreditch

    2. Andy 68

      Re: SLOUGH - if despond - easily the worst place in Buckinghamshire ... or anywhere?

      Oh come on...

      It's not as bad as Bracknell - just bigger.

      1. JaitcH
        Unhappy

        Bracknell ... Isn't that where ....

        Microsoft and/or Bracknell are?

        Bracknell was so bad even the Met Office moved.

      2. Ojustaboo

        Re: SLOUGH - if despond - easily the worst place in Buckinghamshire ... or anywhere?

        Having worked in both Bracknell and Slough, Slough is 100 times worse and I can't stand Bracknell

        1. P. Lee

          Re: SLOUGH - if despond - easily the worst place in Buckinghamshire ... or anywhere?

          >Having worked in both Bracknell and Slough, Slough is 100 times worse and I can't stand Bracknell

          No stench of mars in Bracknell AND there is more than one way out.

      3. Sarah Balfour

        Re: SLOUGH - if despond - easily the worst place in Buckinghamshire ... or anywhere?

        Yep, late to the party as usual. I didn't see this until 20 mins ago…

        If you think Slough is in Buckinghamshire, I'm going to hazard a guess you're in Berkshire and it's just wishful thinking.

        My parents have an SL postcode; the local Townswomen's Guild and WI spent years lobbying the council to have GX reassigned to HP, that way it would be in the same area as Beaconsfield, currently the most desirable place to live in the country (according to the Torygraph).

        The people I feel most sorry for are the residents of Fulmer, what was once a picturesque village is gradually being swallowed up by the industrial leviathan that is Slough. It now has to endure massive juggernauts hurtling through as they come off whichever bypass that is (can you tell I don't drive…?)

        Not much different to Little Waltham, which is practically a ghost town these days.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: SLOUGH - if despond - easily the worst place in Buckinghamshire ... or anywhere?

      Excellent telecommunications and transport hub slap in the middle of part of the commuter belt.

    4. PNGuinn
      Coat

      Re: SLOUGH - if despond - easily the worst place in Buckinghamshire ... or anywhere?

      So - if I understand you correctly - you're saying that Slough is the orifice of the Bowels of Buckinghamshire.

  21. gc73

    It's "storeys".

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    More jobs for us real Londoners

    Fuck the rest of the uk. London is where all the talent is at.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Taxing corporations is really taxing yourself. To the corporations, all taxes are costs and guess who pays those? That's right, corporate customers. Looked at from an economists perspsective, it is the consumers who pay all taxes. Don't be fooled by the bookkeeping. You pay all taxes on anything that is taxed, including corporate incomes.

  24. JeffyPoooh
    Pint

    Slough - Famous to the entire world through Top Gear

    Three old Italian supercars failed to make it there, to the Peppermint Rhinoceros gentleman's club in Slough.

  25. Scroticus Canis
    Unhappy

    So the old Amason offices will become another JobCentre+ for the ex-workforce?

    Title says it all.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Slough is great

    I worked in Slough for quite a few years and have to say that I found the town center a brilliant and vibrant place. There was a wide range of local shops as well as chain stores, a whole range of eateries and a diverse ethnic mix.

    Having to occasionally commute into London I just cannot see the appeal of crowded trains, tubes and buses, or the exorbitant rents if you move to the area.

  27. AceRimmer
    Joke

    Reminds me of the famous rhyme

    If you want to see somewhere rough

    Take a train to Slough

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Other stories you might like