back to article Google swallows SMARTSPOON manufacturer Lift Labs

Google has made an investment in a truly shaky business with the purchase of a company which makes smartspoons for Parkinson's sufferers. Mountain View has slurped Lift Labs, which makes a "tremor-cancelling" spoon called Liftware. This device looks like an ordinary spoon, but contains microchips and sensors to work out the …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Internet of toilets

    I only tweet whenever I use the toilet as well.

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
      Devil

      Re: Internet of toilets

      Why does it tweet the water use, when it should be telling everyone the dump size? And possibly length...

      Actually scrub that (if only I had some mind bleach), just why?

      1. Eddy Ito

        Re: Internet of toilets

        What else, I can't imagine anyone but the boss being interested in the total dwell time from sit to shi stand.

        1. psychonaut

          Re: Internet of toilets

          my mate wrote a program (no, not a fucking app) years ago. this is when i was employed by someone else..... you entered your annual salary into it, and pushed "GO" whenever you went to the toilet . then you pushed "STOP" when you got back and it would tell you how much money you made whilst having a shit.

          1. Rusty 1
            Coat

            Re: Internet of toilets

            Sounds like a time and motion study.

      2. razorfishsl

        Re: Internet of toilets

        This is no good unless a pantone reference is included.

        Length is not an indication of illness.

      3. dotdavid

        Re: Internet of toilets

        "Why does it tweet the water use"

        Yeah it should tweet something like "er, you won't want to come in here for a while"

    2. GitMeMyShootinIrons

      Re: Internet of toilets

      Logging on?

      1. VinceH

        Re: Internet of toilets

        Logging on?

        I think it's more about logging out.

  2. Chazmon
    Pint

    smart spoons

    I like those smart spoons. Nothing grand just making people's lives a little bit better.

    I hope they develop a beer holder next.

    1. Alister

      Re: smart spoons

      I hope they develop a beer holder next.

      I'm not sure any amount of motors could compensate for Jack Douglas' drinking problem in the Carry On films...

      1. ratfox
    2. razorfishsl

      Re: smart spoons

      Or a cure for compulsive masterbators….

  3. Andy Hards

    Great use of technology. There are plenty of little things that could help the lives of millions. Unfortunately medical supplies companies make huge profits at the expense of sick people who often have nowhere else to turn.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      There's a market opportunity there for a startup medical supplies company that doesn't charge over the odds then.

      1. JDX Gold badge

        I'm not sure there is. You need massive budgets for legal and certification/regulation. Things don't only cost a lot due to greed and profiteering, they also reflect the extortionate barrier to entry costs.

        1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

          Not only regulation. Small production runs as well.

          Also in the UK, you're not selling to the customers, you're selling to the NHS or social services. Which means products don't improve as they should. As an example that's why Apple and Samsung destroyed the previous top mobile phone manufacturers, who'd forgotten who the customers were, and did everything to keep the networks happy.

  4. Slartybardfast

    Great idea

    My father suffers from a Familiar Tremor which means that he can no longer eat such things as soup, which he used to love. One of these devices would be a lovely present for him. I'm going to have to look into this further.

    1. JDX Gold badge

      Re: Great idea

      I'd probably have bought him a mug. But I agree, it's a very neat idea. And deceptively simple, a real "how did nobody think of that" project.

      1. Slartybardfast

        Re: Great idea

        "I'd probably have bought him a mug" - what a factious glib comment

        You obviously have no idea what you're talking about. A mug even half full is no use to him as the tremor causes the mug to shake too much and spill over the edge. He is forced to drink coffee/tea from a "sippy" cup. Which for an intelligent man in his early 70's is not much fun. All his soups have to be liquidised thoroughly before he could drink them. Which takes alot away from the pleasure of a hearty home made soup.

        1. JDX Gold badge

          Re: Great idea

          You said he couldn't eat soup, not that he couldn't drink from a cup either. I was not being glib, because if you'd said his tremor was that bad I would have suggested this spoon is probably unable to combat such extreme issues. He doesn't have a tremble, he has a full-on shake - surely when it's that bad just getting the spoon in the bowl is pushing it?

          They do make anti-spill mugs though I think often for use at sea, if he can physically hold the thing one of those might be of use for regular drinks... tea through a sippy cup can't taste the same.

    2. ravenviz Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Great idea

      "So some sort of [straw] is probably in order?"

      Seriously though, inventions like this to, as they say, bring people out of social isolation can only be good.

      +1

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I wonder how

    would Google use it to display targeted adds!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I wonder how

      Maybe they need it to stabilize their self-driving cars...

  6. James Boag

    Tweeting bog ...

    And I thought my Doorbell tweeting was bad.

  7. Velv
    Terminator

    Technology to stabilise an object being held or attached to something moving.

    <cynical>What possible reasons could google find to invest in such a business?</cynical>

    Sounds like a solid investment to me, I do hope they continue and expand the medical uses along with everywhere else this will be used.

  8. Trainee grumpy old ****

    Spoons?

    Can we expect to see Google in Private Eye's "Me & My Spoons" column soon?

  9. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. ratfox

      Re: Why the hell is Google buying things like this?

      There is not even a casual link between an innovative company like Lift Labs and an Internet advertising company like Google

      Google has already bought many robotics companies. Why not this one too?

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Absolutely

    brilliant solution.

    Simple. As most good solutions to complex problems are....

    Now, watch as google fuck it all up.

  11. DropBear
    Joke

    I cannot help but wonder whether a fairly heavy (within reason, obviously) spoon suspended in some sort of gimballed handle would not do the same thing merely by virtue of its inertia, no motors at all (well, there's always the fully green solution of sticking said spoon to a chicken's head and holding the chicken itself - guaranteed zero movement, just make sure you don't use it to eat chicken soup)...

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