back to article 6 Obvious Reasons Why Facebook Will Ban This Article (Thank God)

1. Facebook has declared war on "click-baiting headlines", slamming them as "spammy". 2. The social network has noticed that lazy, poorly written headlines that lure in readers with an ultimately unfilled promise are almost universally hated 3. BuzzFeed and Upworthy-style 'you won't believe this' garbage is drowning out …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    MORE FROM THE REGISTER

    Will that be going too?

    I already got rid of whatever clickbait used to be on the left hand side of MORE FROM THE REGISTER.

    Your adverts simply got too INTRUSIVE (caps deliberate) and therefore your adverts got blocked, that one included.

    You want your adverts displayed, stop making them offensively intrusive. OK?

    1. Kaltern

      Re: MORE FROM THE REGISTER

      Already blocked - along with the other ridiculously sized ads on this and other sites. While I understand this is a free site with 'stuff' done by people who get paid, and I also understand that revenue needs to be generated somehow, I don't need huge ads in my face everytime I look around.

      And have you ever tried Digital Spy? Since they were taken over by some magazine company, the advertising is utterly insane.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: MORE FROM THE REGISTER

        Are there any adverts on this site? I don't see any.

        1. RegGuy1 Silver badge

          Re: MORE FROM THE REGISTER

          FFS, are there people still so stupid as to NOT install ABP?

          Honestly

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      It'll make no difference, the inane unimportant and self-aggrandising rubbish will still be published.

    3. Jamie Jones Silver badge
      Meh

      Re: MORE FROM THE REGISTER

      "I already got rid of whatever clickbait used to be on the left hand side of MORE FROM THE REGISTER."

      Ah yes, the 'outbrain' stuff.

      I mentioned before that these sort of 'headlines' are really annoying, patronising, and dumbed down, but got mostly downvoted

    4. Ken Darling

      Re: MORE FROM THE REGISTER

      I already got rid of whatever clickbait used to be on the left hand side of MORE FROM THE REGISTER

      Thanks for reminding me I have AdBlockPlus installed. I turned it off to see what you mean, and sheesh! there's more advertising than editorial, just like in Computer Shopper!

      ABP switched back on. Small adverts I will tolerate, and even read; huge great monstrous animation turn me off. Too Windows Phone for my liking.

    5. Mike Flugennock

      Re: MORE FROM THE REGISTER

      Waitaminnit... y'mean, there's ads on The Register?

      Damn you, AdBlock Plus and NoScript.

  2. ThomH

    "cancer ruining internet journalism"

    I don't know about everybody else but internet journalism has really ruined cancer for me. I haven't been able to think about it in the same light for a while.

    Now, if you'll excuse me, I must learn about the ten alkaline batteries to try before you die.

    (EDIT: yes, pedants, I know, but compound adjectives aren't always hyphenated in US English — even formal US English — and the author is based in the San Francisco office)

    1. diodesign (Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

      Re: "cancer ruining internet journalism"

      There's no need to put a hyphen in there. US or UK English. Inserting a hyphen will ruin the meaning.

      C.

      1. ThomH

        Re: "cancer ruining internet journalism"

        Yes, I know. That US English doesn't require a hyphen and that there's no symbol for separation — an anti-hyphen of some sort — is from where the amusing ambiguity springs. So it can, correctly, be read both ways.

        Were it British English that would not be the case. Were it hyphenated it would mean the wrong thing.

        The empirical evidence is that not everyone finds the second meaning humorous but it's a valid parsing regardless. The further evidence is that despite my comment about ambiguity being entirely clear to my eyes, you somehow took it to mean the exact opposite. Hopefully someone can at least enjoy the irony of my failure there.

    2. Bill Gray

      Re: "cancer ruining internet journalism"

      Hyphens are important. Consider the difference between "extra-marital sex" and "extra marital sex".

      1. ThomH

        Re: "cancer ruining internet journalism" (@Bill Gray)

        The difference being that only one of those is a chore?

        1. Marcus Aurelius

          Re: "cancer ruining internet journalism" (@Bill Gray)

          The difference is that whilst "extra-marital sex" may be a reality, "extra marital sex" is a complete fantasy

  3. thomas k.

    Huh?!

    Wait! Facebook is a news site? When did this happen?

    I thought it was a "social media" thing, where narcissists posted the minutia of their daily existence (because they just know other people are interested in it) and grandmas posted pics of their grandkids. When did they add news stories?

    1. Terry 6 Silver badge

      Re: Huh?!

      I think you're confusing FB and Twittering a bit.

      FB has always been where people post personal "news" items to other people they consider to vaugely be sort of er friends(ish), i.e. granny has got a new kitten.

      Unlike Twitbook, where they post tiny details about their own sad and boring lives to anyone dumb enough to be bothered to read it.

      FB is ok as long as you don't somehow expect anything significant: Sadly there are people who do think it is a source of real news. And they are often the ones who fall for clickbait links.

      1. Mike Flugennock

        Re: Huh?!

        "...Unlike Twitbook, where they post tiny details about their own sad and boring lives to anyone dumb enough to be bothered to read it..."

        Whether or not Twitter is as you describe it depends entirely on the user.

        I've been on Twitter for a little over three years. I use it primarily for checking the news, connecting with fellow activists, and posting my latest cartoons/blog links, and I only "follow" accounts involved in activism or "hard news" sites. No accounts I follow -- or which follow mine -- are the kind of my-cat-barfed-on-the-sofa bullshit that Twitter got its reputation for in the early days.

        Basically, you put into it what you get out of it. If you're one of those clowns who insists on broadcasting banal personal minutiae, then, yeah, you're going to get more cats barfing on sofas than you can handle.

  4. Tom 35

    OK

    How about the lame surveys posted by SEO companies to make it look like some crappy facebook page is getting traffic.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I read this article and guess what happened next...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      You posted a comment?

    2. Mike Flugennock
      Paris Hilton

      "I read this article and guess what happened next..."

      What Happened Next Will Blow Your Mind.

  6. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

    Click back?

    I set middle click to open the link in a new tab and not switch to it. I middle click on the links that look interesting, then close the tab. Waiting for a page to load is thoroughly last millennium. "Clicking back" and waiting to a page I have already seen to reload sounds like a complete waste of life. Have Facebook users really not learned Noddy level browser use, or is this the brainfart of a PHB?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Click back?

      Pretty hard to do middle clicks on a tablet and selecting links and holding them long enough for the browser to ask if you want to open a new tab is a pain.

      1. e^iπ+1=0

        Re: Click back?

        Really? It may be hard on your tablet, but I always open links in a new tab on my phone.

  7. Winkypop Silver badge
    Trollface

    Facebook

    I've heard of that.

    1. Irongut

      Re: Facebook

      Is it some kind of book of faces that plastic surgeons give to patients so they can decide which cyborg they want to look like?

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Quality journalism; you know you can count on El Reg for proper news. Can we have more vultures in tiny hats for the next article please?

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Doing something to improve Facebook rather than make it worse?

    Surely some sort of mistake!

  10. Khaptain Silver badge

    Not just FB please

    There are a hell of a lot of other sites/advertisers that really need to start applying the same thing. Professional Click Baiters need to be publically castrated with ten different sharp things...

    1. A K Stiles

      Re: Not just FB please

      I'd settle for 5 different blunt things...

      1. stucs201

        Re: Not just FB please

        preferably rusty ones.

  11. AsherGoldbergstein

    Will we also get a reprieve on the situation here with the obnoxiously (mis)named articles and "Every! Article! About Yahoo!"?

    1. diodesign (Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

      Re: AsherGoldbergstein

      Hell! No! You! Leave! Our! Yahoo! Headlines! Alone!

      C!

      1. beep54

        Re: AsherGoldbergstein

        You forgot to tilt the exclamation point.

  12. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Mushroom

    It's a MAD WORLD.

    videos of people drenching themselves in ice water to avoid donating to charity

    Yes... this.

    CAN ANYBODY explain to me WHY EVERYBODY is BEHAVING LIKE TEENAGERS that have NOT A CHANCE IN HELL to even get their A-LEVEL EXAMS.

    Except the Russians, the Chinese and, well, ISIS.

    1. Khaptain Silver badge

      Re: It's a MAD WORLD.

      Because the teenagers have decided that a career in "idiocy" is probably more exciting than a boring humbdrum job in an office.

      Sometimes I wonder if they are right !

      1. Elmer Phud

        Re: It's a MAD WORLD.

        "Because the teenagers have decided that a career in "idiocy" is probably more exciting than a boring humbdrum job in an office."

        This being t'internet and all that, try looking at comments about teenagers through the centuries -- they don't change.

        The Greeks, Romans etc.etc. all have the same moans about teenagers.

        Fortunatley, this doesn't look like it's going to stop - Teenagers will carry on being teenagers and really pissing off Groan Up's for centuries to come.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Go

        Re: It's a MAD WORLD.

        I *know* they're right.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Upvote this comment and see why how Sylvester Stallone survived the car crash that never happened

  14. Potemkine Silver badge
    Trollface

    But WTF is...

    .. Facebook? Feckbook?

  15. John Tserkezis

    Pay attention to me! Pay attention to me! Pay attention to me! Pay attention to me!

    That's pretty much everything that comes out of crackbook. "Cleaning it up" isn't going to leave much.

    1. Elmer Phud

      Twits and twats

      You don't have a Twtter account?

      Even LinkedIn is now posing as an alternative.

      Can you tell me the 'next big thing' so I can get my standardised moans in first? Ta.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Meh

    The Third Way

    Dont have a Facebook account.

    Dont have a Twitter account

    Dont have a Linkdin account

    Dont have a Reddit account

    Use NoScript to block Facebook, Twitter, Linkdin, Reddit and Google (amongst others)

    Unblock Google when it is needed to make a page work.

    It works for me; but then I get enough inane drivel directed at me by the women I have to work with, and I havent found a way to block them yet.

    (Soaps, soaps, Orlando Bloom, soaps, make-up, soaps, babies, Christian Bale, soaps.....)

    1. Pascal Monett Silver badge

      Stop spying on my life !

      Except for the remark on women, I agree with the rest of your post.

      I understand where you're coming from, though.

  17. lansalot

    ..

    OMG.. Point #6 in this article blew my mind!!!

    That aside, FB perhaps a bit unhappy that other shitty-ad-networks are stealing a slot of their revenue?

  18. Peter Gordon

    What about the Arapaho?

    Do they have a word for Facebook clickbait?

    1. Brewster's Angle Grinder Silver badge

      Re: What about the Arapaho?

      Catebaik.

    2. Tom 13

      Re: What about the Arapaho?

      Well, I think Zuck calls it "revenue".

  19. Christopher Blackmore

    This one reason why I don't care will amaze you!

    I got rid of my FaceBook and LinkedIn accounts.

  20. Mike Flugennock
    Devil

    Well, that's a start...

    ...now if they could just do something about those boring-assed text-in-graphic "quote memes" and fotos of people holding up little signs written on notebook paper.

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