back to article Revealed: SECRET DNA TEST SCANDAL at UN IP agency

Allegations of bizarre and potentially illegal conduct within the World Intellectual Property Organisation have raised serious questions, after The Register obtained access to an internal report indicating reasonable grounds to suspect serious misconduct within the UN agency. The report, published exclusively by The Register …

  1. phil dude
    Boffin

    on a technical note...

    I know nothing of the politics or law in this case.

    However, the scientist in me wants to know how good the DNA results were at identifying the targets?

    Without proper sample collection, I am not sure how much I would trust the results...

    P.

    1. Don Jefe

      Re: on a technical note...

      A really unfortunate side effect of stuff like this is that the correct answer is whatever the answer is. Punitive sneakiness is almost always the work of people looking for a patsy, not a person interested in facts.

      Governments, NGO's, NPO's and companies have lots of, legal, ways to investigate internal matters and have a court support the investigation. When you're doing it back channel the truth probably isn't the goal.

    2. BillG
      Coat

      Re: on a technical note...

      Attention News Flash;

      THE UNITED NATIONS IS CORRUPT!

      up next:

      THE SKY IS BLUE!

      1. Adam 1

        Re: on a technical note...

        >THE SKY IS BLUE!

        In the UK that WOULD be news!

    3. Jonathan Richards 1

      Re: on a technical note...

      > how good the DNA results were at identifying the targets?

      para 14 of the Pooley report states "Everyone who provided samples was excluded as a suspect".

  2. Mark 85

    Situation normal at the UN

    Between arguing and wasting huge amounts of money deciding on the Official UN Food (snack and meals), when their not lining their pockets, they're playing insider politics. Has this organization ever done anything really useful? And not cost a fortune in graft/bribes/pocket lining?

    Downvote away, but besides being a mouthpiece for every minor dictator and a rubber stamp for the US, Russia, and China, they're pretty useless. Even their famine work is rift with corruption.

    1. Peter2 Silver badge

      Re: Situation normal at the UN

      Did the UN not also officially conclude that their famine work actually causes long term aid dependency as well, because their method of aid distribution removes the need to buy food from local farmers who then go bust collapsing the local farming economy?

      It's ok though, the league of nations was just as bad.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Situation normal at the UN

        I apologize for the rant but this just makes me so angry because I see it every day when I go out.

        Absolutely true, previous poster. I have first hand experience of this. For example, the food and other humanitarian aid in many cases ends up being sold to those in need by local corrupt military or other thuggish actors.

        And who could not forget the ludicrous salaries and other compensation packages UN staff get while "on mission" in some poor 3rd world country.

        - Local skilled staff flocks to UN and NGOs for the gravy train, leaving bottom of the barrel for private sector.

        - "Since we get everything from the white man free, we do not need to improve."

        Etc.

        Best of all is the known fact that UN operations introduced HIV to many areas where it was not present before. Funness.

  3. Don Jefe

    Trilateral Zionists Infiltrate Bilderberg Clubhouse Using Queen of Sheba as Distraction

    If you discount the DNA part, the rest of this is pretty mundane. Even in rigidly disciplined hierarchical organizations working towards a single goal there's always some shady shit going on. The larger the organization, the more significant the shady activities become. The UN is most certainly not on anyone's list of rigidly disciplined hierarchical organizations. It's a nearly perfect, real world, example of discord and chaotic mathematical studies. The most effective people in such chaotic environments are the ones going off in a different direction using the confusion to camouflage themselves.

    The DNA part is fucking weird though. Selling, or enabling the sale of, restricted items to unfriendly nations makes sense. I don't support that kind of thing, but at least it makes sense. How did he pay for the DNA analysis? How did he pay for the DNA acquisition (that's not the kind of thing you use general staff for). Where was the evidence gathered? Specifically where were the cigarette butts obtained? Can you still smoke in UN facilities? If so I would like to purchase the role of Secretary-General. How were they going to compare DNA samples? Do people still lick envelopes?

    It really is quite bizarre. In fact, it's so bizarre and illogical that I'm not convinced the way this is being presented is the truth. I think it's far more likely that DNA was stolen from people with a dissenting voice and have the ability and position to have their opinions heard. Those dissenters are probably already dead and have been replaced with clones whose programming is inline with the leadership of the UN. We all know they can do that. We all saw Colin Powell was replaced with a Colin Powell clone with a big war boner. The only question now is who is a clone and who isn't.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Trilateral Zionists Infiltrate Bilderberg Clubhouse Using Queen of Sheba as Distraction

      I happen to have some information about Kennedy's brain being used to telephatically control members of the political crust from a secret location in Antarctica used as a storage for black oil isolated from an akkadian pyramid during Gulf War II (Remember Petraeus saying in 2003 - "Tell me how this ends"). I can only write in trepidation about the unbelievable truth hidden behind the apparent "facts" one sees in the MSM. Consider: Why would Hillary Clinton transform into a burnt-out, haggard and neoconnist witch at the very moment that neocons pack their bags and return to the democratic party? What can explain the over-the-top gasbaggery of frequent flyer Ketchup Kerry? Who, of his own free will, would put Wolfowitz and Cheney back in the news, even the front pages? Who resurrected Ahmed Chalabi? Why did the latest speech of the newly appointed Federal Reserve chairman reduce to a brazen bunch of lies with no content, hidden behing complex verbiage? How is it possible that Iran is still going to build a nuclear weapon in two weeks for the 20th year in a row while a new Caliphate rises on the ashes of liberal intervention in Syria? And why would a CIA director meet the wife of Robert Kagan secretly in a country that is key to political paralization of Russia and the EU in one fell swoop? Coincidences? I think not!!!

      1. DemonX

        Re: Trilateral Zionists Infiltrate Bilderberg Clubhouse Using Queen of Sheba as Distraction

        Perhaps the single greatest reply I've ever read! LOL

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Greatness

          I have no idea if it's the silly season effect or whatnot, but there have been more than a few of late. Hell, AManFromMars makes sense lately! Prolly time to commit myself. Again.

      2. unitron

        The scary part is...

        "Who, of his own free will, would put Wolfowitz and Cheney back in the news, even the front pages? Who resurrected Ahmed Chalabi?"

        ...some of that actually makes sense.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Trilateral Zionists Infiltrate Bilderberg Clubhouse Using Queen of Sheba as Distraction

      It gets even more bizarre if you read the PDF. Swiss police say they've got DNA, so Gurry wants a match and dispatches his security guy to steal stuff. Leaving his own DNA which could make theft charges a slam dunk. Then May 26th, suspects are callled for an interview, fingerprinted, swabbed and as a result those suspects are excluded by the Swiss authorities as suspects.

      That's just up to page 6, and then it gets weirder, but perhaps the UN is trying to prove the old adage about power corrupting.

  4. Demosthenese

    Confused...

    So why did the Swiss police get involved? Is sending an anonymous letter of complaint a criminal offence?

  5. Trollslayer

    So, the Swiss police

    Are at the beck and call of anyone?

  6. PyLETS
    Pirate

    foxes and the management of hen houses

    Talking of conflicts of interest, can any beneficiary of strong IP protection be trusted to present an unbiased view ? Surely the conflict of interest present in the behaviour of WIPO is dwarfed by the conflict of interest inherent in the simple existence of this organisation.

  7. theregister@mariegriffiths.co.uk

    GATTACA

    Wasn't there a scene is Gattaca where the hero's DNA was suripticously taken from his keyboard by his corporation for testing? It looks like science fact has caught up with science fiction.

    1. YetAnotherLocksmith Silver badge

      Re: GATTACA

      Their DNA was taken nearly everywhere. Automatic finger pricking took samples to allow entry to buildings and police took mouth swabs just like the UK police, just with instant results.

      The premise was that an individual's DNA was the prime driver for their abilities down to the lowest levels. And plenty of tweaks available too, such as the world's best pianist with 12 digits.

      Good film.

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Other stories you might like