back to article Japanese finally produce a ROBOT which isn't DEAD INSIDE

Boffins have unveiled a robot that, we're confidently told, can understand human emotions. Named Pepper, the shiny machine has what appears to be a tablet computer strapped to its chest, and it resembles a cross between a mermaid and a, ahem, marital aid. It is the work of SoftBank Mobile Corp, a Japanese cell network, and …

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  1. DuncanL

    Looks like...

    ...a very expensive tablet display stand?

  2. DJO Silver badge

    Life, don't talk to me about life!

    Let's hope it has a hackable or open API, it would make a splendid GPP prototype to emulate Marvin however I think there was a slight spelling error, this thing has has a brain the size of a plant, and a really small one at that.

  3. ID10T

    Isn't this similar to how almost all robot apocalypse movies start?

    They give them emotions and feelings, realised that some of the human race suck, and kill everyone.

  4. ukgnome
    Flame

    Kill it.....

    Kill it with fire

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

      Re: Kill it.....

      You are now in violation of the anti-aggro code of 2020. Karma police will drop by shortly. Please assume the assume escort submission position and await further development.s

  5. Frankee Llonnygog

    Extensive vocabulary

    It has 29 different ways to say, 'stop punching me'

  6. User McUser
    Terminator

    *shakes fist*

    Am I the only one that just wants to punch that thing it its stupid smug face? (I'm pretty sure that when I'm an old fart I am going to be spending a lot of time yelling at robots and demanding to speak to a human being.)

    Also, that thing looks like the Playskool version of the Cybermen.

    Edit: I see that Frankee Llonnygog has already answered my question...

    1. Slacker@work

      Re: *shakes fist*

      It must be some sort of subliminal, race memory thing - as soon as I saw it I wanted to hit it with something long and hard like a baseball bat or axe...

    2. Tom_

      Re: *shakes fist*

      "Am I the only one that just wants to punch that thing it its stupid smug face? (I'm pretty sure that when I'm an old fart I am going to be spending a lot of time yelling at robots and demanding to speak to a human being.)"

      More likely you'll be like the rest of us nerds, desperately yearning for a bit of the robot's attention, but continually spurned.

  7. Andrew Jones 2

    I get why people are excited about it - but......

    what does it actually do?

    Sure it recognises emotion and tone of voice - but what is it for? What useful tasks can it perform? Is it just meant to be a robot companion? a helper? Can it hold a conversation?

    1. Preston Munchensonton
      Coat

      Maybe the "hands" are "useful"

      Well, it has two hands, so....ahem.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Maybe the "hands" are "useful"

        Well, the article did say that it was showing off its "dextrous fingers"... not sure I want to know what tasks it was performing to do that!

  8. Chris G

    FFS

    It can recognize human emotions, that does not mean it has feelings.

    " Master you are continuously sad and unhappy; I can fix that for you"

    It says, flexing it's dexterous fingers around your neck!

    1. anody

      Re: FFS

      The best cure for headache is amputation.

      (Am I a robot...?)

  9. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Terminator

    I can has emotionz!

    There's good news for those of us worried about a robopocalypse

    Shurely you can try to tell it Monty Python's joke that causes you to LAUGH YOURSELF TO DEATH, used to devastating effect in the trenches of WWI.

    If you ever discover it, that is.

  10. Kevin McMurtrie Silver badge
    Terminator

    Roboscrew

    "The phone you sold me still doesn't work!"

    "I UNDERSTAND YOUR FRUSTRATION. WE MAY BE ABLE TO ASSIST YOU FURTHER IF YOU PURCHASE A PROTECTION PLAN."

    "I already bought the phone. It's under warranty and contract."

    "IT IS NOT OUR PHONE BUT SAMSUNG MAY BE ABLE TO HELP YOU. TERMINATING YOUR CONTRACT AT THIS POINT WOULD BE... VERY UNFORTUNATE FOR YOU."

    "Samsung said it's working as they expect it to. You took my money. Give me a !@#$ phone."

    "WE VALUE EVERY CUSTOMER. WE CAN PERFORM A FREE FACTORY RESET."

    "Not that again!"

    "THANK YOU FOR VISITING. IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I CAN BE OF ASSISTANCE WITH TODAY?"

  11. Frank N. Stein

    "Just climb some stairs"? What if your flat has no stairs? So much for the stairs based "safety net", as it were...

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. VinceH
      Terminator

      Just climb on top of your wardrobe, or another suitable piece of furniture.

  12. Neoc

    "There's good news for those of us worried about a robopocalypse: there's a speedy way to stay safe if Pepper goes berserk. Just climb stairs."

    Pepper = Dalek 1.0?

  13. Mark 85

    Uh-oh

    While mounting a frikkin lazer to it would be child's play, I suspect that if the fingers are dexterous it could be taught to use a .45 ACP????? Shouldn't this article be in the ROTM section? It's a preview of things to come and it probably won't end well.

  14. Faye B
    Terminator

    The Daleks are coming!!!

    Can't climb stairs eh. Well that didn't stop the Daleks from ruling over half the galaxy. Luckily it only RECOGNISES emotions, it doesn't actually have emotions as that would imply intentionality and self awareness. It can only emulates emotional responses, pretty much the same way a puppet can. So why the big hoo-har about this plastic pal that's fun to be with.

    Emulating an emotional response will seem like total insincerity by the observer, leading to annoyance and eventually violence, when the perceived response is seen as some kind of robot sarcasm. "please ignore that I am pointing this gun at you and look at the sad expression on my face. That shows how much I regret having to kill you".

    1. Robert Helpmann??
      Childcatcher

      Re: The Daleks are coming!!!

      Emulating an emotional response will seem like total insincerity by the observer...

      50 years of ELIZA would seem to indicate a flaw in this argument.

      1. Angus Cooke

        Re: The Daleks are coming!!!

        I don't think so - 50 years of ELIZA just indicates how long an irritating pattern matching program can wow people wanting to believe electronic tools & toys can mimic humans! The bottom line is we understand hardly anything about how our brains work. Any robot no matter how exaggerated the PR is will be anything more that just clever hardware & software. I prefer to pursue the quest for AI as exactly that - artificial. How clever can we make software to adapt to different scenarios and inputs and put that to use in something that really helps us. Not, how can I make something that has human characteristics and gimmicky features that I can brainwash the public into buying at huge expensive! Good luck to them though.. I'm sure they'll sell a load initially before people realise it's just a useless toy :-)

    2. Trevor_Pott Gold badge

      Re: The Daleks are coming!!!

      "Emulating an emotional response will seem like total insincerity by the observer, leading to annoyance and eventually violence, when the perceived response is seen as some kind of robot sarcasm."

      A robot that can simulate emotion is still more human than many people I've met. Besides, how do you know you're not just "simulating emotion" by displaying reactions you have observed to be socially contextually relevant? You have a chemical reaction that occurs in your brain that triggers the behavior patterns? How's that different from a subroutine?

      You're a machine. The robot's a machine. Based on your posts, I daresay it has a chance of being the better machine.

      Specisist.

    3. hplasm
      Happy

      Re: The Daleks are coming!!!

      "Can't climb stairs eh. Well that didn't stop the Daleks from ruling over half the galaxy."

      They just ruled the bottom half...

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Share & Enjoy!

    1. anody

      I'm so depressed...

    2. BorkedAgain

      Your plastic pal who's fun to be with!

  16. Gav

    Does not compute

    Recognising emotions != understanding emotions != having emotions.

    This robot has no heart.

    1. anody

      Re: Does not compute

      Oh, but maybe it does. Has anyone looked inside? Or maybe a brain in a jar?

      Abe Normal?

  17. thexfile
    Trollface

    "Do you want fries with that.." Quoth the robot nevermore.

  18. ben edwards

    To quote the great Seth Green,

    Can you fark it?

  19. Isendel Steel
    Coat

    Dr

    If you load it with a medical app would it be a Dr Pepper ?

  20. markp 1

    I COULD SAVE YOU £666 ON YOUR CAR INSURANCE!

    Anyone else this looks like the evil mutated cousin of Brian ("or confused.com") off the TV adverts?

  21. Wanting more

    Can it get me a beer from the fridge / put a pizza in the oven and bring it to me in the living room? I don't want it to have emotions or tell jokes. Then do the washing up and tidying up afterwards. In short I want Kryten Series 4000 mechanoid.

  22. Flyberius

    There seem to be tinpot firms that do this every few years. Stick a face, some wheels and a pair of useless flagella on a coat-stand and claim it's a paradigm shift in robotics. Even Asimo seems to mostly run on preprogrammed routines. Hardly a robot.

    Now Petman, Bigdog and Schaft. Those are robots.

  23. Dr Insanity

    Wadsworth

    Joke Telling Robots? give it a rocket booster up it's arse and you'd have your very own Mr Handy!

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