back to article Monkey steals iPod touch, loses interest in minutes

Whatever Apple's up to with its strongly-hinted-at new products, investors will be hoping it's not aiming at the simian market after a monkey reportedly lost interest in an iPod touch after just a few minutes. The iPod Touch in question was dropped by ten year-old Stormi-Lee Whitford during a visit to Auckland Zoo, according …

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  1. jake Silver badge

    Spider Monkey 1, Homosap 0

    EOF

    1. JetSetJim

      Re: Spider Monkey 1, Homosap 0

      I thought this was an article about Ballmer - naturally he'd quickly lose interest in the iThing

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Spider Monkey 1, Homosap 0

        Re: Spider Monkey 1, Homosap 0

        I thought this was an article about Ballmer - naturally he'd quickly lose interest in the iThing

        - yep - as soon as he realised he couldn't eat it or wipe his ar*e with it...

  2. Trevor_Pott Gold badge

    Obviously there was no wifi, so the poor fellow couldn't get El Reg. Must have decided that without something good to read the fondletat was pretty worthless. What good's a consumptive device with nothing to consume?

    1. swampdog

      Hmm, been up all night. Misread that as "fondleteat".

      I'll get my pillow...

    2. LarsG

      Strange, my son used to enjoy chewing the corners...

      Humans just have different tastes.

      1. hplasm
        Happy

        Re:Strange, my son used to enjoy chewing the corners...

        Not an Apple device then?

      2. TRT Silver badge

        So...

        That's why they're rounded!

    3. ThomH

      You think he was heading to the forums to post a comment blindly supporting [company X] regardless of the story, taking the opportunity to remind people who use products made by [company Y] that they're a sub-monkey laughing stock and objectively wrong?

  3. Charles Manning

    Simian would do better with Symbian

    No wonder it was disappointed.

  4. Grease Monkey Silver badge

    Stormi-Lee? Really?

    1. TitterYeNot

      RE: Really?

      Aye - offspring of proud parents Cloudi-Lee and Slightly-Foggi-Lee...

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Re: RE: Really?

        Rainee and Gale?

    2. sisk

      I know a kid by that name. Not THIS kid mind you, unless he was on vacation very far from home. It is spring break in these parts, but I rather doubt that particular family has the finances to vacation in New Zealand since his mother's a widow.

  5. Fihart

    obviously took one look at iTunes

    and threw the iPod away

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: obviously took one look at iTunes

      Read the article... it was using it for a good few minutes. Therefore the battery had run out.

  6. This post has been deleted by its author

  7. TRT Silver badge

    That's a plus one for Apple.

    It didn't start flinging it at people, so it can't be poo.

    1. thomas k.

      Re: That's a plus one for Apple.

      So, in the monkey's estimation, not as worthwhile (useful) as it's own poo even?

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Re: That's a plus one for Apple.

        You make a good point...

        Maybe the new look of iOS7 was making it nauseous?

        1. DanDanDan
          Headmaster

          Re: That's a plus one for Apple.

          Or even nauseated.

          1. DanDanDan
            Meh

            Re: That's a plus one for Apple.

            Hmmm, upon re-reading, I now understand the ambiguity that might make this either: the new look makes iOS nauseous, or the new look makes the monkey nauseated... Huh.

  8. Crisp

    Stormi-Lee Whitford parents were lucky...

    That monkey could have racked up 1,000's of dollars worth of purchases on Candy Crush!

  9. JimmyPage Silver badge
    Facepalm

    "Stormi-Lee"

    (see icon ->)

  10. Justin Stringfellow
    Joke

    The child will get it back eventually

    But how long will he have to wait?

    Well, how long does it take a spider monkey to type out the full works of shakespeare?

    1. Smarty Pants

      Re: The child will get it back eventually

      I don't know but it looks like some of their earlier stuff is here where I work as code an some of the systems.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Stormi-Lee

    Stormi-Lee - what kind of crazy name is that?!?!?!

    I think thats what the article should be about. People with crazy names having iPods.

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: Stormi-Lee

      Using a lightning connection?

      1. hplasm
        Happy

        Re: Stormi-Lee

        Or a Marvel/ X-men connection?

  12. Peter Clarke 1
    Happy

    Further News ....

    The keepers are puzzled by an unexpected delivery of bananas and other exotic fruit by the local supermarkets on-line division

  13. TRT Silver badge

    Inserts ear pods... presses play. This is what was going through its mind.

    What am I doing hanging around? I wanna be free; this just doesn't seem to be my day, for Pete's sake! You told me sometime in the morning, Mr Webster. Zilch. That randy scouse git is hard to believe. I'm gonna try all your toys as we go along, salesman. Can you dig it? 99 pounds?! It's just a game!

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Maybe if it had come with headphones?

  15. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

    OOK!

    I think the monkey in question would as easily lose interest in "War and Peace", which to many humans is absolutely riveting.

    I asked, the only simian I know who appreciates books, and he said "OOK" so there!

  16. Heisenberg

    Everyone knows...

    Everyone knows that monkey only like banana's, it's no surprise he turned his little nose up at an apple...

    1. AndyS

      Re: Everyone knows...

      > Everyone knows that monkey only like banana's, it's no surprise he turned his little nose up at an apple...

      Which monkey? Banana's what?

  17. David Barrett

    The picture on the home page is not a monkey...

  18. Platelet
    Terminator

    Damn you. God damn you all to hell.

    This will not end well

  19. Werner McGoole

    I feel a patent coming on...

    Rounded corners aren't cool in monkey society. Simians prefer curved, elongated shapes with pointy ends. So that idea's now in the public domain, before Apple patent it and come up with the iBanana.

  20. Nigel 11

    Next time....

    Give him a tablet running Winows 8 and see if it's more or less desirable to a monkey.

  21. TRT Silver badge

    Hang on a moment...

    Spider monkey? You mean a monkey that was bitten by a radioactive spider and mutated to develop friendly-neighbourhood super powers?

  22. Sander van der Wal
    Angel

    Zanzibar, the movie

    According to the article, the keepers cannot find the iPod and so the keepers are ASSUMING it has been tossed in the moat.

    Clearly, the monkeys are clever enough to outwit the keepers. It is only a matter of time before they have figured out how to play movies. In particular the one mentioned in the title. After that....

  23. Fluffy Bunny
    Boffin

    Intelligent life on Earth

    It's proof of intelligent life on Earth... that's to say, monkeys !

  24. kiwimuso
    Joke

    It has to be said....

    "The iPod's not been seen for a few days with zookeepers telling the Herald they suspect it's been tossed into the moat surrounding the monkey enclosure."

    Obviously another tosser with an iPad.

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