Well done El Reg
but your user base isn't just within the ring of doom. So if you could just email me the pint instead please.
We here at El Reg have much love for our vociferous, knowledgeable, occasionally somewhat foam-flecked forum posters - even if they/you don't absolutely always love us. It's not our way in general to show affection, or indeed any other emotion - we are British, after all - but we think it may be time to put some substance …
You can send mine over IRC: the Virtual Bar.
Some of us use the 'net to liberate us from the shackles of geography (not to mention London, with its slumlords and packed commutes). If you can't have a pint over irc or email I'll have to assume you have yet to catch up with the 1990s.
I know one thing: when cows graze in the vicinity of an oak, they always do so at 90° to the side on which moss grows. And if I knew which side the moss grows, I'd know two things.
I know two things, then, since I know if I knew which side the moss grows I would know two things, except that I would, therefore, know three things.
I do know that there's not a chance in Hell I'd be one of the 50. So I guess I do know three things.
I bet I'd know more than three things if I put my mind to it, which is, really, a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I think therefore I'll have a peppered, smoked mackerel sandwich and a coffee while I forget about being offered a pint with one hand and having it snatched away by the other.
This is for the UK.
- Age of consent and marriage with parents agreement, 16.
- Age at which you are legally allowed to drink, 18 (although there are variations in venues like restaurants where you can drink wine as long as it is served with a meal from a younger age).
And another age related restriction
- Age at which you are allowed to drive, 17 (unless you are a sole carer for a family member, where you can drive at 16).
So you can get married but not be allowed to drive to the Wedding or participate in the Champagne Toast.
at last an excuse to go to the other end of planet that might be sufficient. Some of your writers have real flair and impressive knowledge. Pity I have courses that require my attendance. Anything planned for Antipodes in future ? Preferably not in that crowded traffic clogged hellhole Sydney.
Excuse me, but that's MY adopted crowded traffic clogged hecklhole you''re insulting there. I''ll have you know that it's only actual Sydneysiders who're traditionally allowed to admit what a stinky, brown sky, horribly humid rathole it really is. To the rest of the world we present a united "best city in the world" front.
As for the pissup, sorry, quiet get together, I'm happy to travel Business Class only. Please have your people arrange the ticket and limo
unfortunately that pub got turned into apartments. (let's see if a google streetview link works)
https://maps.google.co.uk/maps?q=39+Monson+Road,+SE14&hl=en&ll=51.477954,-0.047715&spn=0.000007,0.004549&sll=51.537794,-0.101624&sspn=0.55607,1.164551&t=h&hnear=39+Monson+Rd,+London+SE14+5EQ,+United+Kingdom&z=18&layer=c&cbll=51.477954,-0.047715&panoid=g5APZIJzrVnWGd3Z_WRAJw&cbp=12,355,,0,-5.94
"
unfortunately that pub got turned into apartments. (let's see if a google streetview link works)
https://maps.google.co.uk/maps?q=39+Monson+Road,+SE14&hl=en&ll=51.477954,-0.047715&spn=0.000007,0.004549&sll=51.537794,-0.101624&sspn=0.55607,1.164551&t=h&hnear=39+Monson+Rd,+London+SE14+5EQ,+United+Kingdom&z=18&layer=c&cbll=51.477954,-0.047715&panoid=g5APZIJzrVnWGd3Z_WRAJw&cbp=12,355,,0,-5.94"
It blew over too quickly by the looks of things.
You'd have to file the paperwork to get him sprung for the day. .... Psyx
Please be advised, all those who would be a'thinking of the necessity of such things, that all has been duly and dutifully filed ship shape and bristol fashion, and has the guv'nor's blessing. Registration of certain interest in free beers on the house and enlightened chat amongst peers [and here's also proposing cheerleaders too, please] has been made and all that is awaited is rendezvous point info and email invitation which be in the lap of, ye gods, El Reg.
Where there's a Will, there's a Way. No Word, No Play.
How about a set of regional Commentard's Balls?
My current venue of choice in Southampton is called the Butcher's Hook. It does Proper Beer, so don't expect lager or anything of that ilk. I'll be buying the first 10 pints on the same evening as the London meet (i.e. next Wednesday). And I don't want to flog your details to any "partners"...
Get there early - they shut at 10pm. And the place is *tiny*...
Vic.
I'm near to you Vic, but sadly am unable to make it to Bittern due to prior commitments :(
However, should El Reg ever plan a more central England location for such a jolly, I'd be more than happy to make time available for a trip back here.
A highly recommended brewery.
although I don't comment enough, although multiple times a day visitor, to tag along. Plus up Newcastle anyway, bit far for a bevvie.
However, I do like the mock up El Reg pint glass, get them made up and put me down for one. You wanted some ideas for stock in the Reg's shop, yes?!
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This post has been deleted by its author
If you'd like to post a token to my home or work address, I can consume my pint from here AND limit the carbon impact of having to travel beyond the gates of Nodnol. One of those bluey/green or orangy/brown ones will be perfect, although a purply/blue or red one would be equally well received.
a free and frank exchange of views.
Isn't that diplomat speak for a virtual fight? So the poster above who's suggesting you're going to gather all your critics in one place for some cattle-prod re-education may be correct after all.
Run AWAY!!!!
Or perhaps you should kill them with kindness. Go for another post-pub deathmatch, comparing deep-fried polonium against kebabs for half-life and lethality...
Surely this is an opportunity for another badge for commentards as well? To act as a memorial, when nostalically viewing their old posts from before The Cull.
Will El Reg be validating parking? If not, are stables available nearby? Where's the nearest place to tether my airship? Everybody in London gets all weak kneed and wet in the pants every time I get even close to the city with my airship. Screaming about blackouts and rations. If blackouts are that common there I suggest you drink less. Putin has done wonders in cutting down alcohol abuse in Russia. Maybe you could invite him over for a few generations. He seems to enjoy getting out.
Also, will you be running dozens of patio heaters inside and regulating the temperature with air conditioning? What types of fissile materials should we bring? If everybody brings enough there won't be any need to concern ourselves with the heating and A/C bills.
Hey! You know what? If they've one of those really big copper vats for beer brewing we could huck some radioactive material in there and drink it like the Japanese do (that's why they're so clever you see). We could get someone monstrous blocks of ice and melt them with the indoor patio heaters and have a barroom engineering contest to see who can design the best boat using only materials found in the bar (any bottles or vessels must be emptied, by drinking, before use in a boat).
Holy shit! We could put up some windmills and make them go with up-drafts from the patio heaters that are keeping the A/C from being too cold and melting the ice blocks. We've got these huge truck mounted lights here (we use them to light up pit mines at night to get broken heavy equipment out). I'm sure we could dismount them from the trucks though.
We put the lights inside the bar, along the biggest PV array we can get through the door. We'll use electricity from the windmills to run the lights and stimulate the PV array. We'll use PV electricity to run the brew fires and to dispense justice. It's a full circle of life!
Obviously we would need some things from 'the outside' raw materials for booze making, food (I vote for Giant Panda and Emperor Penguin), women. Water would come from the condensation of the A/C units so we're set there. Probably some sort of weaponry to maintain societal balance, but that should be all we need.
We will have created a near perfect, almost closed system and we will pay for it with 'sustainable infrastructure' subsidies, utility company buy backs, and research grants. Lots of grants for climate change, climate change management (that's why we need all the green power stuff, to demonstrate we give zero fucks about what climate throws at us, our tech beats your hippy Earth goddess), behavioral science research, alternative economy research, group management research, isolated governance methods research (we'll have to kill a lot of outsiders when they discover our Utopia), just so many options. I'm sure there will be some artsy types there too, so we could probably get some grants for art. We'd have to move on that quick though. The artsy types will almost certainly be used up immediately as soon as the ice cube melt gets much above the ankles (their rubbery hides will become our boots - maybe since that's a First Nation invention we can get some money from the not French Canadians. That's part of the UK right?). You can only justify a small number of tambourine girls in any balanced society and those will be divided along traditional martial lines, King Badass gets (x) tambourine girls, and each weaker person gets a smaller number.
Now that I've thought it through, the artsy types will not only make good boots, we can craft their bones into wind-chimes and scrimshaw (another grant opportunity!). It is crucial to note, the only way to leave is as artwork. If you have the slightest doubts about living inside a sustainable climate change management and communal art environment or get squeamish about eating Pandas just don't come. Hope to see you all there!
Don Jefe,
Sounds like a plan. Have a beer on me.
All you need after that is for some astro-engineers to fit rocket engines to the base of the pub and then the party will really fly! It can raid the Home Counties for more supplies (but good luck finding tambourine girls in Essex, Kent or Berkshire).
Colin
If the venue be public knowledge and not exclusively private, be it an open invitation to all with a notion to attend and partake in such an Astute Anonymous Autonomous Gathering ...... for High Land SMARTR StartdD Games Play ...... Virtually Remote Cyber Command with Absolutely Incredible Controls.
Although I do concede that might make it not unsurprisingly popular and of particular and peculiar national security interest concern. It is more of a fab fabless opportunity for co-mingling entanglements with others into SMARTR Proprietary Intellectual Property Exchange for Freedom. The Life Blood of Dreams.
True or False? Which Paths to Where do you Steer and/or Follow?
"It's not our way in general to show affection, or indeed any other emotion - we are British, after all"
This shows that your ARE NOT British!
Where I live showing affection for your brothers/sisters/neighbours/friends is common place and accurately reflects human life. Emotion is fundamental to life.
Your comment demonstrates that your sort are not worthy of being deemed as human life. You southern people need to go back to school and learn what it means to be a human being and not the life sucking automaton you portray yourself to be.
Sad tragic people, the fact you have any sway is a travesty. (Though you have no sway with me, I think you have nothing of value to contribute)
Dear commentard
You're about a week away from being zapped. Your 375 rejected posts from this account alone, plus the several hundred on your original account which you stopped using when you realised your spittle-flecked bile was being constantly rejected, should have warned you that the above angry drivel is not acceptable here on El Reg.
This is the second public warning I've given you. Do not labour under the illusion that clicking "Anonymous Coward" makes you invisible to the moderators. You're not. Next time there won't be a friendly public warning - that'll be it.
Hugs and kisses
El Mod
No, no, no, no, no. You're going about this the wrong way. He's obviously some sort of Northerner so invite him, he won't be able to resist free beer. Get him completely off his trolley then chain him to a lampost naked. Immediatley gets put on the sex offenders registry. If you can stretch to a second hand netbook, strap one to his body and stream the camera live over a free wifi thingy-me-jig, might even get him banned from using technology.
Bloody hell! You guys are patient, if you don't zap accounts where you've already rejected 375 posts!
What kind of cynical, embittered, angry mods must you be - if you've had to read all that. Suddenly it doesn't seem so safe meeting you... This is beginning to sound like a cunning plan to assassinate your more troublesome commentards.
I must check my posting history to see if I have blasphemed against the Vulture God.
"What kind of cynical, embittered, angry mods must you be - if you've had to read all that."
Maybe the mods are quietly weeping at that, having seen the darkest sides of the human mind, mourning the loss of mental greatness that once was...err, probably never was.
Still, that would make it perfectly understandable if our dear Regtards are looking for a nice excuse to drink all London pubs dry. And then some more for the celebration of the fact that they do not have to deal with Youtube comments.
I suspect the coward means "jake".
I'm roughly 6,000 miles away. I'd attend if I were a trifle closer, not being a coward.
Perhaps the San Francisco office will offer up a similar get-together at one of the Hopmonk Taverns? I'd prefer the one in Sonoma ...
http://www.hopmonk.com/sonoma/
Bah. Words are unnecessary if you appear to be suitably aloof and introspective. Not acting like a dick, just so preoccupied with weighty matters that you simply don't have the resources to do more than take comfort by watching the Earthlings enjoy their last few hours of existing as anything other than a tasty, but low carb, snack.
Try to position yourself where you are in full view of the other patrons, but don't say anything. Communicate with the beer bringer only in writing and in less than 20mins people will view your silence as a challenge. It is also very effective to bring a small easel and paper and draw caricatures of the patrons using only crayons. It is crucial that you make liberal use of red but only as the 'action detail', not their clothes or anything. Also write a very short sentence, in red, under each drawing. Words and sentences like 'soon' ,'whispers', 'remorse', 'damp', 'silent echoes of eternity', 'trapped', 'original sin', 'visitor', 'wither', 'slough', 'innocence' and 'Purest Breakfast Sandwich' work well.
Wordlessly give the drawing to the subject and hold out your hand as if for money. It helps if you can do a lazy eye or an eye twitch. It's great fun.
who thinks the sign up requirements are a bit intrusive? I could of course fill in false details but that wouldnt sit well on a site I respect.
Why should my wish to join you in the pub require my business details? I appreciate you may just be re-using the Whitepaper sign up mechanism but it smacks a little of Facebookery.
Gaaacckkk!!!!! Like signing up for Facebook without the legal and PR BS. OTOH, at least you're honest about what will happen with our details and you don't ask for the names, etc. of 1000 friends to spam.
Even still... sounds like it would be a pretty good evening. Sadly, travel time and distance are way too much.
I'm close enough to go. But frankly, the reason why I post as AC is because I am paranoid, have absolutely no social skills whatsoever and fear any sort of attention. But I do like drinking beer, so long as I don't have to talk to anyone or make eye contact. Perhaps I could sit in the corner on my own wearing a zipped up parka with the hood up and you lot could give me side long glances while whispering stuff about me to each other. I see my posts as confirmation that I am concious. People are over-rated.
I'm close enough to go. But frankly, the reason why I post as AC is because I am paranoid, have absolutely no social skills whatsoever and fear any sort of attention. But I do like drinking beer, so long as I don't have to talk to anyone or make eye contact. Perhaps I could sit in the corner on my own wearing a zipped up parka with the hood up and you lot could give me side long glances while whispering stuff about me to each other. I see my posts as confirmation that I am concious. People are over-rated. .. Anonymous Coward
Howdy, AC .
There be those and that working on a fab app which will allow one to cast off one's shell identity and reveal one's true passions initially relatively anonymously, for engaging escapades of immaculate bliss ..... and we all know where those always lead to and the pleasures that ensue and are assured to guarantee continuity of ..... Heightened XSSXXXXPloration and Insatiable Satisfaction ..... Heavenly Desserts.
Methinks such will be a Mega Meta AI Game Changer. It will certainly be Deliberately Intelligently Designed to be XSSXXXXually Addictive and Most Attractive for even the Simplest and Most Generous of Players.
I'm flying out to germany to demo my new product the next day, I doubt they'll be impressed by me turning up smelling of stale lager, late night curry, with eyes redder than Saurons after a particularly bad session of quaffing hobbit blood-mead (just made that up). Knowing 'el Reg, I wouldn't discount the possibility of traffic-cone headwear, and handcuffs attached to bits of hack-sawed lampost
*sigh*
to those that make it, I damn you!!! :-) sounds like it will be an awesome night out
Have you managed to find 50 commentards ready, willing and able to attend?
Do we get to see the roster of the chosen few?
Can the attendees choose not to be publicly named and shamed?
Do you have a videographer on hand for the youtube video if somebody does something really silly like order a half pint (unless they are a lady)?