back to article Voracious alien flatworm hits French in the escargots

Scientists across la Manche have warned that "the time for action is now" following the first discovery on European soil of an alien flatworm immigrant with a voracious appetite for snails. Several New Guinea flatworm (Platydemus manokwari) were spotted in a hothouse in the Jardin des Plantes, in Caen, and subsequently …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The Zerg are here !

    Time to polish the power armour and grease the chaingun.

    1. Anomalous Cowturd
      Pint

      Re: The Zerg are here !

      Never mind all that malarkey.

      Just announce them as a new national dish, and they'll all be gone in days.

      Brown tagliatelli anybody?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The Zerg are here !

      I'm sure the French will happily eat these too....

  2. Mr C
    Meh

    of all the non-IT stories on this site..

    ..i like this one the least.

    At least other non IT stories on this site have things like bulls being milked, playmobil, warm flesh, vibrating things or a combination of the aforementioned in them, increasing their "hey come take a look at this"-factor.

    This story *is* good for some horrormovie script tho

    1. Pascal Monett Silver badge
      Mushroom

      Re: of all the non-IT stories on this site..

      Being French, and an amateur of snails, I am interested in this story.

      And I agree, nuke Caen from orbit. C'est la seule façon d'être sûr.

      1. Evil Auditor Silver badge

        Re: of all the non-IT stories on this site..

        I don't mind Caen (and indeed the snails) but please leave out Cherbourg and Le Havre - it's my usual choice of going back to Blighty.

      2. regadpellagru

        Re: of all the non-IT stories on this site..

        French here as well, and being hidden in the most deserted place of the east of the country, I wouldn't mind nuking Caen, except it seems my employer has its newest big DC nearby.

        Also, trying to get back on the IT angle, about the nuking thing, and for the gamers population here (I KNOW you guys are here !) have a look at http://www.uberent.com/pa/.

        Yes, successor to Total Annihilation and Supreme Commander, you know, the games where being nuked is actually a serious blow ...

        Spare 30 bucks for a good nuking fun !

  3. Evil Auditor Silver badge

    Escargots

    Taste like chicken. Only worse. Then again, that was in Belgium - maybe the French ones are better? Probably not.

    1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

      Re: Escargots

      The only good thing about escargots is the garlic butter they are served in. Just serve that with a nice fresh baguette straight from the oven, and a glass of wine. Who needs the brown rubbery bits?

      1. Evil Auditor Silver badge

        Re: Escargots

        @Phil

        Exactly. Very delicious w/o snails!

        Over the years I stuffed my foodhole with all kinds of weird stuff from critters all over the world (for the Daily Fail reader: even horse meat !) But escargots were the least desirable. And Brussels sprouts.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    It's like a French version of "Tremors"!

    I guess in this one, Val and Earl run a small coffee shop, where they spend a lot of time morosely discussing the pointlessness of existence.

    1. cortland

      Re: It's like a French version of "Tremors"!

      pointlessness of existentialism?

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Just add Garlic ,Herbs & Wine

    Whats not to like ?

    Good news for the frogs, at least ! Or better still, unleash the frogs in the area. Let the fight begin and observe Darwinism in action.

    1. Chris G

      Re: Just add Garlic ,Herbs & Wine

      Frogs? Oh! we just ate the last one.

      1. Semtex451

        Re: Just add Garlic ,Herbs & Wine

        Look.. we had all agreed we were nuking the frogs

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Just add Garlic ,Herbs & Wine

      "unleash the frogs in the area"

      Better yet, release some cane toads to eat them.

      1. Fibbles

        Re: Just add Garlic ,Herbs & Wine

        You're only a step away from having packs(?) of mongoose roaming the French countryside...

  6. FartingHippo
    Boffin

    Flatworm

    Doesn't look especially flat.

    F*cking horrible, yes, but not especially flat. A flattish worm?

  7. Velv
    Alert

    Screw the French and their snails.

    Nemetode worms from the Southern hemisphere have destroyed our pitch at Murrayfield and that's a far more serious concern!!!

  8. dorsetknob
    Alien

    klingonforming France

    Looks like Gagh

    Smells like Gagh ( maybe that's just France)

    Oh my god the Klingons are Klingonforming France

    there goes the neighborhood...............wait it might actuality be an improvement

    1. Fibbles

      Re: klingonforming France

      Kronosforming? Or maybe Qo'noSforming?

  9. Nick Kew

    Non-EU immigrants

    They come over here, they take our chefs' jobs .... it's a disgrace! Has anyone told the Daily Mail?

  10. Mpeler
    Paris Hilton

    Razing Caen?

    Not forgetting, of course, the battered Snickers-worm, which appears to have invaded Scotland...

    Paris, well, this is about France, or?

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