back to article Qipp debuts 'Clippy for your STUFF' app

It looks like it's time to oil your bike chain. Would you like to 1) check warranty instructions 2) just oil it already and/or 3) check if the kids' bikes need attention? A new mobile app called Qipp aims to help you organise your life by putting all of your possessions into a database. You enter details of your things such …

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  1. Livlondon

    Great

    So I either live on my knees in servitude to the whims of my bike, vacuum, etc.. or die on my feet battling in obviously impending 'Internet Rise of Things.'

    1. vonBureck

      Re: Great

      Or you die on your knees milking your snake, it seems.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        @vonBureck

        Brilliant!

      2. Toromoloscu
        Happy

        Re: Great

        >Or you die on your knees milking your snake, it seems.

        Is this a euphanism?

        1. Anonymous Custard
          Joke

          Re: Great

          No, that'd be on your knees milking someone elses snake...

          1. vonBureck

            Re: Great

            Either way, not something you'd need (or want) you phone to remind you of.

            Wonder if you have to tag your snake before you can milk it, though...

            1. Trevor_Pott Gold badge

              Re: Great

              Tag the enclosure.

              "Change UVB bulb on snake tank every 6 months."

              "Drop in frozen pinkie every 10 days."

              "Change substrate every 10 days (offset by 4 from pinkie addition)."

              "Milk snake every 21 days."

              "Begin the unnecessarily slow moving dipping mechanism when $_tag_Austin_Powers is in range."

              It all seems rational to me.

  2. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
    Coat

    It may remind me to install a back-up personality in all the doors with a GPP feature. I am getting sick of their cheerful and sunny disposition and the intolerable air of smugness they generate when they are about to open.

    OK, time for me coat it seems

  3. Heisenberg

    Where's the advantage?

    If I need to oil the chain on my bike, I know this because my bike has started squeaking. If my snake needs to be milked I kind of have a way of knowing that too. What is the advantage of entering these items in to an app which will then just arbitrarily tell me something needs doing, whether or not it be true?

    1. Richard Taylor 2
      Facepalm

      Re: Where's the advantage?

      But have you thought that it might well be of advantage to many commercial customers for this data to know what you have, age, potential replacement window - or in the case of more actively entrepreneurial businessmen, a shopping list from your house?

    2. 's water music

      Re: Where's the advantage?

      If I can schedule reminders for all of the low level maintenance tasks that need doing around the house then I free myself up to milk my snake all day without the rest of my life falling apart. Qipp get to sell my data to tissue vendors.

      Everyone wins.

  4. Simon Rockman

    If I remember correctly Cobras only need miking every three days.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So they've invented a scheduling app with alarms. Wow. Technology is marvellous.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Old school burglary brought into the 21st century...

    In the old days, burglars would nick your telly and more or less throw it away because what they actually want to steal is the brand-new, shiny replacement courtesy of the insurance company.

    Now with this app they can hack in and save that tiresome first step.

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