fWHoaR! Researcher crack eternal mystery of what women want in a man

Long face, long schlong shurley..?

I call bull.

Obvious solution

If you're male, with a long face, only speed-date psychologists.

"Wide face, a bit dominant...probable psychopath, avoid"

More pointless research from a Psychology department; keep on useless eating, chaps, humanity could do entirely without your pseudo-scientific discoveries..

Trick-Cyclist

"She and her colleagues' paper can be read by subscribers here, courtesy of the journal Psychological Science.

Psychological Science? Blatant oxymoron shurley...

If this is true

then Stewie Griffin is the hottest male on the planet.

A few who immediately spring to mind

Peter Sutcliffe, Fred West, Ian Brady, Oddbod and Frankenstein all look very similar. I think if I were female this would be enough reason for me to stay away from men with square heads. OK, I concede it might have been unfair to put Oddbod in with the others.

George Zimmerman

George Zimmerman must be beating them off with a stick (sic)

Bloke walks into a girlie bar....

Barwoman sighs "Why the long face"

Having chosen a mate with a wide head, there's a good chance that one day the woman will give birth to a baby with a wide head.

Ouch.

Symmetry

You only need to read the headline[1] to infer another manifestation of the age-old human preference for the perfectly round and symmetric. The ancient Greeks told us first.

[1] Or should that be headsphere?

Charlie Brooker married Konnie Huq and did a baby.

*QED*

One in the eye for feminism

> Male speed-daters with higher fWHR, ... more dominant. Women not only expressed more interest in short-term relationships with these men ...

The conclusion from that one, single, piece of research makes it sound as if women want to be dominated - or at least: spend time in the presence of dominant men. If there really is anything in this line of research (like people used to think about phrenology?), one must wonder what that says about equality and emancipation.

Deep down women are...

... shallow. (Actually I think that's one of Dorothy Parker's)

So a trick-cyclist in Singapore finds that out of 150 women - presumably mostly local in such small sample - the majority find men with wider faces more attractive? Can it be that they find wide-cheeked Asian men more attractive than longer-faced Occidentals? Or longer-faced Asians, for that matter?

What the test shows

Is that the kind of people willing to engage in speed-dating prefer wide faces. The tastes of more discerning people may differ

As a last resort though, it's worth remembering that faces look wider to the intoxicated

Where was this study done?

A speed-dating venue in Singapore. Not exactly a 'scientific' sample. A fine example of bad science, bad statisics etc.

I know Valentine's day is approaching and this kind of nonsense tends to float to the top of the journalist's pond around now, but even the researcher's called Valentine!

Come to think of it it's probably not bad science, just completely made up.

Which is much better.

This obviously explains why women are incapable of setting the aspect ratio on a widescreen TV correctly, and always watch 'standard" 4:3 pictures stretched out sideways.

I'm not currently looking for a relationship

But if I chanced on a chap with a large bank balance and a dodgy heart my head could be turned.

The only thing I ever noticed about women is that once you have figured out what they want, they change what they want, and want what you haven´t got.

And I have yet to see any research that has persuaded me that women know what they want, ever.

"...more interest in short-term relationships..."

This is a polite way of saying they want to play slap and tickle with the men-folk.

Every single bloke reading this is now checking his face via his smartphone camera.

Ah, er, oh, just me then.

Is this why woman all appear to lust after Sarah Jessica Parker?

Makes sense. fWHR might be subconsciously related to overall "body width". Back in the old days, weight was related to wealth and power. If you were rich/powerful enough to eat well while the peasants were starving ......

This has carried forward into almost modern times. Portrayals of rich and powerful men were often more portly. From kings to the stereotypical fat sheriff/mayor in American redneck towns.

The other point that is interesting was the fWHR as an indication of desirability for short-term relationships. It reinforces some other studies that undermine monogamy among homo sapiens. Women choose the best genetic material with which to conceive their children. But they choose a husband based on one least likely to run off with the younger secretary due to his lower social position.

And just for the sake of honesty: Fathead checking in here.

What about pumped up roid monsters who are on PEDs? Won't those PED's widen their heads a bit?

Outdated study

As thats what they wanted yesterday. Today they want a guy with a 3 day growth and glasses. Tomorrow it will be something else.

Social Darwinism in action?

So with women naturally preferring to mate with wide-faced men, that explains why all the thin-faced long-headed humans have died out.

Hang on a minute...

True or False, courtesy of Shooting Stars

"True or False, Paul Daniels' head is wider than it is tall? It's true, and we have the proof!"

That would explain Debbie McGhee, but I think I prefer Mrs. Merton's explanation:

"So Debbie, what first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?"

I have a long-ish face...

Thank god I'm gay.