back to article Brit boffin tests LETTUCE as wire for future computers

The University of West England has used a lettuce to conduct electricity. The wired vegetable is detailed on ArXiv by Andrew Adamatzky, who writes that the experiment was conducted as an extension of work done on slime mould as a computing medium. Such devices, Adamatzky writes, have potential but “slime mould based sensors …

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  1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Meh

    Simples.

    Sorry. I read the abstract, but if you read like a Russian meercat what can you expect.

    On a slightly more serious note this is not v0.1 tech.

    It's v 0.01 tech.

    The idea is fascinating but frankly I'd expect a bit more of a library search for IDK "organic conductors" perhaps?

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The environmentalists and vegetable rights lot will really love this won't they.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Put a wet lettuce on a bare wire,

    pass 240volts through the lettuce,

    stand on the lettuce in bare feet.

    Conclusion?

    1. Mike 16

      Conductive properties of produce

      A little research turns up:

      Characterization of Organic Illumination Systems

      http://www.hpl.hp.com/techreports/Compaq-DEC/WRL-TN-13.pdf

  4. Evil Auditor Silver badge

    Re "Lettuce seedling is somewhat a noisy wire"

    But what kind of noise? White, pink, or rather green noise? Can it be used as random vegi number generator?

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The University of West England?

    Ah, yes, that well established seat of learning so it must be serious research. Seems like anywhere can call themselves a university these days. Still if they can get away with it, why not. I want whatever stuff the people funding this research are taking, I'll bet it's a damn sight stronger than lettuce.

    1. John H Woods Silver badge

      Re: The University of West England?

      It appears you don't know what research is: firstly, if you had done some of your own you would know UWE is actually fairly well regarded academically; secondly, you would know that good research can get done at poor institutions (or in a garden shed) and that bad research can still get done at highly regarded ones.

      I have no affiliation with UWE. If I did, it would make it easier for those with a critical thinking deficit to disregard what I have said above, although it would not, of course, invalidate my argument.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: The University of West England?

        You are quite right but the garden shed doesn't need to call itself the garden shed university and therein lies my point, why does everywhere have to call itself a university? It seems we are expected to think better of it because it's a university? What was wrong with it being Bristol Polytechnic? Did the research suddenly improve after it gained university status? I doubt it, so why the need to change? Yes, I know labour wanted everyone to get a university degree but a rose by any other name.

        1. John H Woods Silver badge

          Re: The University of West England?

          @Chris W

          I see what you mean ... but ... University and Polytechnic meant specific things. In particular, Polytechnics could not award their own degrees, these were certified by an external body (the CNAA, I think). I agree with you that university degrees seem to have become somewhat undervalued but I don't think we can blame that solely on the reclassification of Polytechnics (many of which were already highly regarded) to Universities.

          I'm pretty sure we can't blame Labour, either - IIRC it was the Higher Eductation Act of 1992 that made Polytechnics into Universities (I was half way through a PhD at Oxford Poly when it became Oxford Brookes University, sarcastically referred to as Oxford "B"). So the change happened either under Thatcher or Major, can't remember which.

          PS I was actually a bit annoyed - Oxford Polytechnic had a good reputation in my field - and the new name had no reputation at all :-)

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: The University of West England?

          I believe that in the 80s, the Tories wanted to create more universities. Rather than actually doing this, they renamed the polytechnics! Genius!

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: The University of West England?

            I believe that in the 80s, the Tories wanted to create more universities. Rather than actually doing this, they renamed the polytechnics! Genius!

            Actually, I think it was more a case of them wanting to reduce the number of "research universities" and to turn the lower ranking universities into "teaching universities". At the time that would have been seen as demoting them to the status of polytechnics ... but if you allowed everyone to be a university then that problem was removed ... now that was genius!

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: The University of West England?

        > if you had done some of your own you would know UWE is actually fairly well regarded academically

        I think this depends on what you mean by "fairly well regarded".

        They are ranked in the top ten for Agriculture & Forestry and Land & Property Management so there's that..

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The University of West England?

      UniWoE

  6. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Lettuce?

    Have they any idea how difficult it is to keep rabbits out?

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: Lettuce?

      From my allotment attempts - bugs.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Plants and electronics

    Brings back old memories of desperately trying to find something to act as an indoor television aerial, and finding that poking the cable core into the fleshy stem of a Money Plant (Crassula ovata) worked quite well.

    1. Mephistro
      Happy

      Re: Plants and electronics

      "poking the cable core into the fleshy stem of a Money Plant (Crassula ovata) worked quite well."

      Not for the Money Plant, I guess.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Plants and electronics

        The plant survived, but it did leave a scar.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Why not use hemp

    Perfect for fuzzy logic circuits :)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Why not use hemp

      Great for active-high circuits

      1. Frumious Bandersnatch

        Re: Why not use hemp

        Great for active-high circuits

        Maybe active low. Lettuce contains narcotics/soporifics. (fun fact: that's why lettuce wine is not advised)

      2. Evil Auditor Silver badge

        Re active-high circuits

        Forget about traditional logic levels. I guess it would rather be a high active-low circuit.

  9. ukgnome
    Coat

    This needs investment

    How long until we can eat the computer to prevent the feds from getting our data?

    *the one with the light dressing in the pocket

  10. Crisp
    Coat

    Sorry, computers are all down

    We've had a massive outbreak of greenfly.

    1. Werner McGoole

      Re: Sorry, computers are all down

      Lettuce spray we can contain the threat then!

      1. Shrimpling
        Pint

        Re: Werner McGoole

        Its a shame I can only upvote you once... here have a beer!

  11. RISC OS

    packs of slime...?

    ...sounds like voyager

  12. AceRimmer1980

    Lettuce upgrade?

    All fine and dandy, until Carrot becomes the new standard.

  13. hamcheeseandonion
    Joke

    Apologies in advance

    This looks like just the tip of the iceberg.....

    1. Frumious Bandersnatch

      Re: Apologies in advance

      re: This looks like just the tip of the iceberg.....

      Yes, next step is to calculate cos to 3 decimal places. It's not very bright, though---you can only use it for dim sums.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Coat

      Re: Apologies in advance

      I upvoted you "cos" that was really funny.

  14. Zot

    It's radicchio-lous!

    They should starting with growing brain matter, not mucking around with vegetables.

    You need synapses, not sandwiches!

  15. Stoneshop
    Go

    You are getting hungry

    >E

    (Inven: b-b, * to see, ESC) Eat which item?

    >b

    You have eaten a Slime Mould. You are no longer hungry. You have 2 Slime Moulds.

  16. Joe Gurman

    Serious research, but....

    ....I can't help feeling they're trying for an Ignobel award.

  17. Evoflash
    Coat

    Ahh the student years...

    ...they were my salad days...

  18. BlueGreen

    Imagine ...

    ... a cluster of these!

  19. Francis Boyle Silver badge

    The post is required, and must contain lettuce.

  20. BJS
    Facepalm

    Idiots

    They should have been investigating mushrooms. They're already networked!

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