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  1. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

    Well,

    El Reg has either

    1) sold itself to the Devil

    OR

    2) Having a bit of fun with a nearly dead horse. I can't makeup my mind which it is.

    In any case it might be nice to know how many people take up the challenge.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Well,

      Beuller?.... Beuller?.... Beuller?....

      www.youtube.com/watch?v=NP0mQeLWCCo‎

      1. Shaha Alam

        Re: Well,

        Um, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Well,

          Is that the girl whose grandad bought her a Lumia for Christmas (and she thinks it's great)?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Well,

      How is it that when the Reg do something with IT that someone (with a track history of bitching about MS and Win Phone) disagrees with, they've always sold out in some way, but never when they do things with Linux vendors?

      Your comment is as tedious as it is predictable, the only surprise is that I thought it would be Barry Shitpeas who would be in first.

      1. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: Well,

        My comment was meant as a joke but hey ho, that's life. At least I didn't post as A/C like you.

        I don't have an axe to grind either way here as I don't use a smartphone but in oder to be fair, there should be a compeition for Android devs, iPhone devs and BB devs just so that this esteems site does not show any bias towards one type of phone or another.

        Nah, I like the flogging a dead horse idea better. Is it beer O'clock yet?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Well, @Steve Davies 3 15:53

          "At least I didn't post as A/C like you."

          Speaking of flogging dead horses ...

          Maybe you should've used the joke icon? With your obviously Ganymede-sized balls in choosing a name to post under you've earned that right, you hero.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Well,

          "I like the flogging a dead horse idea better."

          You can apply here: http://uk.blackberry.com/company/careers/overview.html

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Well,

        You called?

        What is this Windows Phone thing you speak of? is it like Android, where I can get all the developer tools for free, and publish my apps with a one-off payment of $25 to a market of nearly 2 billion devices?

        1. cambsukguy

          Re: Well,

          Along with the other 1.6 million apps, 500 of which are identical to the app you just posted to people that don't like paying for apps and know how to rip them off easily.

          Sounds like a brilliant plan.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Trollface

          Re: Well,

          Windows Phone's market share is quite small, which must surely mean it is both technically inferior and ultimately doomed and not worth bothering developing for. Rather like Linux on the desktop.

          No... wait a minute...!

      3. Vociferous

        Re: Well,

        It's impossible to sell out to Linux: you can only sell out to outfits which pay.

      4. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Well,

        "but never when they do things with Linux vendors?"

        When as El Reg ever teamed up with a Linux vendor? El Reg is continually sponsored and "rebranded" by MS propaganda, Linux is barely ever mentioned.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Well,

          "When as El Reg ever teamed up with a Linux vendor? El Reg is continually sponsored and "rebranded" by MS propaganda, Linux is barely ever mentioned."

          Maybe the OP was talking about google? The android mess has a Linux kernel and when google has an outage there's barely a ripple in el reg. When azure has issues not only are there hysterics at the time but every article for the next 3 months refers to it.

          1. diodesign (Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

            Re: Re: Well,

            "when google has an outage there's barely a ripple in el reg"

            Ahem. We do write about Google outages. This was one of our most read stories last year.

            As for Linux vendors wanting to run promotions, I'm sure our ad sales and ops teams will be delighted to hear from them.

            C.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Well,

      So when WP market share is increasing how can it be dead? that would surely be a platform in terminal decline, not one that is growing.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Well,

        market share != payments to IDC

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Well,

      You gimps are weird.

      Apple lock you in to their ecosystem, sue all competing companies, have very dodgy labour practises, and <censoring words here to avoid a lawsuit> certainly got into trouble over some pricing deals.

      Google are evil, have robbed your privacy and apart from search, gmail and maps produce some very dodgy software - especially the android mess.

      Yet as soon as Nokia / Microsoft do anything, they're the devil? Their dodgy business practises ended a long time ago and any other company would have done the same. Also their software works better than virtually all the open source shite - Linux and that crappy office suite included.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Well,

        "Their dodgy business practises ended a long time ago"

        Wrong. I cite OOXML and SecureBoot as two examples of the dodgy business practices continuing.

        Heck, I cite what happened at Nokia as a third example.

        "Linux and that crappy office suite included."

        Linux is a kernel that appears in many (highly varied) operating systems, it doesn't come with an office suite. You clearly have very little idea of what you are talking about.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Well,

          >>> Linux is a kernel that appears in many (highly varied) operating systems, it doesn't come with an office suite. You clearly have very little idea of what you are talking about.

          Giiiiiimp, I was talking about open source. Is it clearer now? Bless.

      2. Vociferous

        Re: Well,

        > (bitches about how unfairly Microsoft is treated compared to Google and Apple)

        Where have you been the last two years? It's perfectly possible to consider ALL THREE companies unethical bastards. Google traditionally has been better than Microsoft and Microsoft traditionally less ethical than Apple and Apple more litigious and control-freaky than all other combined -- but fuck me if they're not all in a race to the bottom.

  2. Captain Scarlet Silver badge
    Trollface

    I thought MS was killing XP

    Make your mind up MS

    1. Charles Manning

      How soon they forget...

      The developer contest they had a few years earned you Zunepoints, for use at the Zunestore.

      I suppose TIFKAM points just doesn't roll off the tongue quite as wall.

  3. Jess

    XP points?

    Do they expire on April 8th or something?

  4. joeW

    "Windows Phone app devs, this is for you"

    "And we're sure you'll both be delighted by it"

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Optional

    What am I, 12? Any decent app developers are surely not going to be lured in with "XP" points. Give me a handset, or an old surface, or some cash - then I might make the effort!

    (Maybe XP points can be traded for something, but I'm not even going to look. It makes it sound like some stupid freemium game)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      FAIL

      Re: Optional

      Please, please don't develop any apps, for any platform, as you clearly cannot grasp basic reading skills.

      .

      "....Developers can earn XP points and redeem them against a whole host of rewards, including app design consultations, flying lessons, help with app promotion and Nokia Lumia 1020 handsets...."

      .

      No need to look it up, it was right there in the article.

      1. TheOtherHobbes

        Re: Optional

        >"....Developers can earn XP points and redeem them against a whole host of rewards, including app design consultations, flying lessons, help with app promotion and Nokia Lumia 1020 handsets...."

        Can I start with a 'Try to invent an ecosystem by patronising all the developers' sim?

        If I work really hard I can make it almost as good as real life.

  6. RyokuMas

    @AC: 15:21

    "Your comment is as tedious as it is predictable, the only surprise is that I thought it would be Barry Shitpeas who would be in first." - My only quibble with this comment is that you posted it anonymously.

    @joeW

    Congratulation on your utter lack of originality - you have now forfeited the right to ever complain about lack of innovation from any company ever again.

    1. joeW

      I forgot, all jokes can only be told one time ever, just in case some prat on a message board has heard them before.

      Oh the shame of it, where can I put my face...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      @"RyokuMas" 15:58

      "My only quibble with this comment is that you posted it anonymously."

      That's more of a sad whine than a quibble. Suck it up - you don't need to know someone's name here. Oh - you can read someone's past posts to decide whether they're trolls? Ah - I can see how that's meant to work.

      "You posted something I don't like! You've done it before! Therefore you are a " and add troll/shill/whatever lets you think someone can't genuinely hold a different opinion to you.

  7. tirk
    Joke

    "....1020 handsets."

    A very accurate sales figure there!

  8. Tom 38

    Amusing

    If just for the round of CVs coming in with "Level 60 MCSE/MCP (Ravenscrest)"

  9. lurker

    Title

    "Windows Phone app devs, this is for you"

    What, both of them?

  10. Herby
    Joke

    XP Points??

    At least they aren't Me or 98 points. Those would be obsolete now (and possibly over 10 years old).

    1. Euripides Pants

      Re: XP Points??

      The Bob points are now antiques....

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Great Opportunity

    +250XP for porting the windows 8 phone app I never made. Sweet! And I only have to do this 35 times to earn an incredible £350 phone?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Great Opportunity

      "+250XP for porting the windows 8 phone app I never made. Sweet! And I only have to do this 35 times to earn an incredible £350 phone?"

      A similar approach seemed to work out quite well for Blackberry developers who churned out vast numbers of apps that were not much more than RSS feeds or links to web pages...Of course the Android marketplace is already largely stuffed full of such apps without even needing a similar scheme....

      Not really necessary to do this now that Windows Phone already has over 200,000 applications - imo it would have been a great idea 2 years ago...

  12. CheesyTheClown

    Too bad it's Nokia :/

    Honestly, I'd consider it if there was a decent Windows Phone out there.

    I've bought 4 Windows phones so far. One for development (it was practically free), one for my son, one for my daughter and one for me.

    A little more than a year later, my kids now have iPhone 5Cs and I'm watching a tracking number for my iPhone 5S which I ordered. It's not that I think iPhone is so great, in fact, I'm pretty damn tired of it. I think Windows Phone is a far better platform software wise. But...

    1) Most of the apps for Windows Phone are the crap apps you get from competitions like this. It's by far the easiest phone to develop for and yet, no one seems to bother. And if they do, they don't bother doing it well.

    2) Windows Phone App Store has to be the only store app more crappy than the Apple App Store when it was remodeled. It's so piled with crap it's horrible.

    3) Microsoft seems to feel there's a good reason to not make apps available outside the U.S.... this has me totally baffled.

    4) There's no good GPS programs for Windows Phone... I here Nokia made one, but I wouldn't buy a phone designed by Nokia no matter how much you paid me. Wow! It comes in yellow and blue! And if you put a case on it... what color is it then? Was anyone thinking?

    5) 3rd party phone vendors keep "value adding" the phones. Samsung, LG, HTC all seem to think they should spam the phone with their own branded apps. Just don't... it's cheeky and awful. It feels like buying a Core i7 desktop from Office Depot because you need at least that much power to still start your web browser after all the preinstalled apps start.

    Microsoft bought Nokia.... the company who defined the term "What do you mean we don't get it?" and while all the other successful vendors tried to make their phones cool, Nokia put Stephen Elop and Sweating Steve Ballmer on stage wearing suits saying "We made this phone for the poor people in India" followed 5 minutes later with "Isn't it awesome!!!!"

    Microsoft needs to simply shutdown what remains of Nokia or turn their whole company into an app developer and then tell their Surface team to make something cool.

    1. cambsukguy

      Re: Too bad it's Nokia :/

      I love it, you laugh about a phone because it is available in more than one colour (presumably because you want a different colour like Black) and also state that you bought iPhone 5Cs for your kids, presumably in one of the copy-cat colours (sorry, colors) they come in.

      And, if the 5Cs you have are in Black (do they come in Black?) then WooHoo, because you can buy Lumias in Black too!

      I have also noticed that there are apps available outside the US, I have some of them on my phone in fact.

      And, as for Nokia phones, well I know for a near-certainty that an iPhone wouldn't have survived any, let alone all of the bike drops and other outdoor related nasties I have thrown at my 920. I also know that the camera is poorer, it costs tons of money more, is less tough and, is less good at making and receiving calls.

      Still, you probably think everyone has the same use cases as you, never letting his shiny shiny suffer any little boo-boos at all and buying a super expensive case to make it harder to use (and bulkier and heavier) just in case.

      Weak-assed over priced phones may suit you but they are not for everyone - and some of like our elegant, zippy OS over that grid-of-icons non-intuitive shite that Apple produces.

      1. Karlis 1

        Re: Re: Too bad it's Nokia :/

        Good try, Chief Marketing Officer of Nokia UK.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Too bad it's Nokia :/

      "I wouldn't buy a phone designed by Nokia no matter how much you paid me"

      Obvious and extreme ignorance means that I can completely discount the rest of your post. Nokia made some of the best handsets on the planet, with for instance the best camera, maps, navigation, screen, touch panel and microphone technology....

      "Microsoft bought Nokia"

      No they didnt.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Minor correction

    "Windows Phone app devs, this is for you"

    should read

    "Windows Phone app dev, this is for you"

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Minor correction

      Been done.

      Not funny.

      Go away.

  14. Sean Timarco Baggaley

    Christ, it's like a children's playground in here. "My bullshit and ignorance is better than your bullshit and ignorance! So there!"

    It's forums like this that make me wonder how the fuck we had the gall to name our own species "The Wise Man".

    Windows Phone and Windows 8 are perfectly fine operating systems. As is iOS. (My antipathy towards Android isn't about its technology, so much as its politics. I avoid anything tainted by Google like the plague.)

    No platform is perfect. Each has its pros and cons. Buy the one that best fits your needs. No need to start another sodding religion over it.

  15. PaulR79

    Nokia - what have you become?

    Once, top phone manufacturer and now being used to run a promo where the first challenge is to make a Windows 8 app.... Oh how the mighty have fallen.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Here's what Microsoft needs to do.

    Make it simple...

    1. Make a list of all the categories that win phone needs decent applications for.

    2. Open a competition for the general dev community to get writing.

    3. In 6 months time pay a sliding prize for the top ten apps in each category, starting with $1mio for each winner, down to $10k for the 10th.

    4. Promise to run a similar competition next year to give the existing app developers a reason to continue improving their apps, and to give new app developers incentive to compete.

    5. During all of this, run a decent, non-patronising ad campaign to highlight the advances made.

    1. Charles Manning

      Re: Here's what Microsoft needs to do.

      C'mon this is MS, they really don't understand how to do things properly.

      They know how to do FUD well. They know how to do really cheeseball marketing.

      Sense. No place for that around here!

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Well done Microsoft.

    Hope this goes as well as the 'Smoked by Windows Phone' competition.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Well done Microsoft.

      Yeah that was really popular. Queues were going out of the doors for people wanting to take part and get the chance to upgrade their crappy Andoid handsets to a Windows Phone.....

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